FALLEN
I swear I am an angel
You ask why I'm in hell
I was walking through the clouds
And suddenly tripped and fell.
Okay, I can see that you don't buy that
So I guess I'll tell the truth
I did something horrible
But it was hidden in my youth.
This very thing was cordoned off
Closed in the book of time
Never to be mentioned again
Such an unspeakable crime.
But I suppose the time has come now
The truth shall be revealed
This thing that I have done
And tried to keep concealed.
Late at night when I was sixteen
I was severely hurt
By my husband at the time
Now he's in the dirt.
I shattered his kneecaps
Then I ripped out his heart
We said together until death
I was just doing my part.
I chopped off his head
And poked out his eyes
And yet nobody heard
His ear-shattering cries.
I was in heaven, living a dream
That was until God found out
And with no remorse he tossed me to hell
There you now know what it's all about.
Author notes
I did option J
Written April 3rd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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VERY entertaining read~ Cleverly put together ~ As bad as what was done ~ I don't think there is anyone who could actually bring themselves to dislike the character ~ I know I should ~ but, I just don't ~ LOL ~ awesome ~
Thanks for entering the "Set the Bar" contest ~ good luck to you! Nice job
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this made me laugh a few times. lol. sorry.
i think it is well written. eeek, quite graphic too.
thanx for entering,
best wishes,
albasoul
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this is kinda funny yet dark because the angel is talking as if she is satisfied somewhat with what she did or doesnt know what she did was wrong until she learned that it was a crime... she only was returning hte favor to her husband. very interesting write
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i am so laughing as i can relate to wanting to do my part on more than one occassion with my now ex-husband. i know i shouldn't laugh but i was glad to know i am not the only one who can think this way. i grew to fear him so badly that i slept--literally--with a huge can of lighter fluid and fifteen lighters strategically placed so that if he came to jurt me again, one of us would burn and i did not care whom so long as he never hit me or made me do things i did not want to again. this is such a sad write when on thinks about the terror another so called human can inflict on a person they supposedly love. i am applauding the courage here and not the hurting of any soul. viyanna r langager
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Excellent
this is a beautifully written poem. a little scary. but thrill is always good. i wish i could write like you. -
eeek! Holy cow I am glad I ain't your hubby..LOL..Excellent write..you creeped me out.Here is some kudos for that
very vivid from beginning to end..flow was nicely done as well Good luck in the contest and thanks for your entry..Brenda
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