I gasp for air in the dungeon of my collapsing palace
waiting for those eternal kin ships to find me here
these supplications spent through parched bloody lips
A likened ascends from the heavens with a crushed wing
she saturates my loneliness with her rainbow narcotics
spilling forth friendship into my corpsed stretched hands
I beseech her to rest, to tell me of her cosmic visitations
as her own gaping wounds seep away spoiled blood
she laughs inwardly trying to hide the nimbus she wears
We sit upon damp rocks hovering amidst this purgatory
I lick her wounds as she laments over every travail
for her soul too needs belonging yet fearing it more
Viscid talons plunge needles into our clammy flesh
mammals swarm, dripping tarry sulphur on our hopes
we persist to purge our anguish as her halo thrums
My smile is mimicked as her finger stitches my torn soul
we switch halos, in a consequential moment we know
time only lingers in a mirage while loneliness is expelled
Out of blood and tear drops I unify a ethereal potion
one I conceived for myself from obscure ancient times
flames die as we decorate burnt bones with friendship
A remote calling permeates the stale air and she turns
I implore her to remain positioning bricks in open rows
she has already forgotten that we are likened beings
Death fumes in my breath, I scratch asunder the mortar
this fallible inconstant friend has left to another's demise
sprinklets of halo dust disintegrate in my cold hands
Author notes
"The greatest harm can result from the best intentions."
~Stone of Tears
In a list
A contest entry
- May the best poem win. by cover fire hero.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 55 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
"i'm such a mess, i wonder how i look through your eyes"
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Congrats on your silver trophy! This is a deep and difficult read with dark metaphors like "I lick her wounds". Very infrequently I write anything dark, but when I do, I would want it to disturb the reader and be memorable. This does just that.
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Impressive!
I enjoyed this write from the first to the last line. Well done. This is an impressive poem. this is amazing, my favorite stanza:
"My smile is mimicked as her finger stitches my torn soul
we switch halos, in a consequential moment we know
time only lingers in a mirage while loneliness is expelled" - just wonderful, I love the alliteration. Keep your pen to the page and thanks for entering!
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Ty so much for the silver I am honored and more so that you enjoyed reading this sad dark write. I am glad that someone gets the depth of it
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rainbow narcotics, that is how my head feels right now
full of blue words and red flutters a good poem.
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Ty individuality for your comment on my poem, "Inconstant Friend". I keep missing comments they are not showing up when I log in.
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This is dark and filled with vivid imagery. The picture is the subject for the poem and it works very well. Shancy.
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not what i expected, but then again its way better than what i had expected. one of the best poems i have read here. good luck in the contests.
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I must say, I do not normally read dark writes, but something about this one drew me in. Your use of words is amazing!! What a great job you did on this one! I can see why it was spotlighted!! Just amazing!!!
Best of luck in this contest!!
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Congratulations for having this wonderful poem in the spotlight. You should be very proud; the imagery and language are amazing. Bravo
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This is just so amazing!
I am (for once) speechless, well almost
I've never seen greater imagery, one of the best poems I have ever read, honestly!
I am now a fan of yours
Amazing Poem!
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Dark, twisted, poignant writing
Top notch maccabre wrought with emotion. Welcome to the finalists. -
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Wow ty so much for your appreciation of this poem that has basically remained hidden in my dark vault lol. It seems that dark writes come much easier to me but not too many want to read something like this let alone befriend a soul that feels on this level. It's also a challenge to be a christian and yet have this type of pain come forth. It shows we are all human in the greatest sense of the word. Suz
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woaah. I really love the picture. It was really powerful,as well as your write. This is super complex and i had to go back and read it twice but i truly loved it. thanks for entering
xoxo
pixie -
this is so complex, and a little hard to understand. the imagery is amazing though
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thanks for entering the contest!!!
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This is the type of thing I am looking for. Very well written. It hit home for me. Thank you for entering. Good luck.
Dani -
Thank you for entering.
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Truly a masterpiece of art crafted by such words...I am taken by this piece of writing...
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Twisted Ink
Ty for reading it so quickly and I am touched that you enjoyed it as much as you did.
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"My smile is mimicked as her finger stitches my torn soul
we switch halos, in a consequential moment we know
time only lingers in a mirage while loneliness is expelled"
This is far and away my favorite part of this. This was hard to read, you have quite a complex way of writing. Very interesting exposition on a friend in a hard time.
Very well written. Thank you for entering my contest.
Nick -
Well sis, you knocked me on my butt..The darkness and depth to this creation was excellent..and in someone way I can relate..Good luck and thank you so much for your entry. Brenda
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lol...well that is an honoring statement coming from you!! I will have to say my best writes come from deep truths I don't let out often but I rarely rival your muse
I can't wait to see what you enter..flicks your wing back 
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well there goes my chance of winning this contest right out of the window
flciks your wing, grrr. a wonderful piece here.
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