The wounds we reap
on the streets
of our bountiful country
ache of a disease.
The great gaps drip
and fester as a child shoots
and another comes
into the ER still
and our values melt like
one of Dali's clocks.
Author notes
Just thinking.
Written April 2nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is wonderful and yes "Just thinking" can change one's point of view and another's life. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you, Michele! Sorry about the late response! I haven't been around lately! Take care!
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very powerful write - the comparison of a festering wound and children shooting is good - keep up the good job
michele -
Thank you, Puppydog. Your comments are always so thoughtful. I appreciate that you take the time to read and obviously think about what I've written. That means so much to me.
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WONDERFUL POEM MY FRIEND
Your thoughts are so true though, we as a people are losing our values so quickly as time goes on. You have expressed what we all need to stop and take a look at.
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Thanks, Jo. I haven't seen that movie since I don't watch a lot of movies in general, but that is one of the few I do want to see. I was a little nervous as to what the reaction this poem would be. Thanks for reading it so carefully.
Liz -
it feels to read this as a powerful statement of society, drug and even to gun control issues here in the U.S., Stone. I don't if you had ever seen the Michael Moore's movie, "Bowling for Columbine," but the movie was based on this very issue of gun control specifically, and it's what came to mind in my read of this poem. the poem does read beyond that though, even in its conciseness.
You finished the poem off perfectly, a surreal society to a surreal work of art which reflects time melting and slipping away from us. good writing and enjoyed the read!
Jo -
Thank you.
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this is beautiful stonelion...and such a good reflection on the way society is today!! nice work.
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Thank you, sweetness.
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i like this its really good
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Thank you, Anthony.
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WOW stone this is very good, yet again strong, but short, but that's what make this great.
Great Write. -
Thanks, Rowan. It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.
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Thank you. I'm so glad you're feeling better.
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This is really great writing Stonelion, a thoughtful, and truthful write! So inspiring! Sad, but so well done!
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yes like this so sad so true you have done a real good job at this one we all need to read and be reminded of the truth we seem to turn our backs on thanks for this one I applaud you this morning...P.S> feeling much better today thanks for asking means the world to me
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Thanks, mum. Take care. Love and joy, the kid
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Thanks, Jeff.
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You expressed this very nicely.. I agree this is so tragic.. keep penning hun.. be safe..
Love mom
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Excellent, reallity of the street melts away like dali's clock.
great perspective. Another great write...Jeff -
Thank you, Zayra. You're actually pretty much right on the money. It also has to do with violence on the streets, but drug addiction is a big part of what I was thinking of also. So perseptive, my friend.
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Dali's clocks are always such a profound reminder to us of both our lives and our hearts - how fragile and surreal it all is. This poem is a glance into that image you describe through the streets - and from my take on the poem - drug addiction in young people on the streets. But that might just be my take on it since I have worked with helping such young people in the past. At any rate, it is a successful petite poem that speaks volumes.
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Thank you for your comment, Angel of wolves!
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Very very deep and thought provoking piece, my friend! Thank you for shring!
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Thank you, ethereal. I'm glad you liked it.
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excellent presentation
You have created a very deep thought about our country in this poem. Your imagery is great, and the reference to Dali's painting is just superb!!!!
I enjoyed reading this one.
etherealforu
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