feeding on carrion
while jackals slink past my questions
i dig for the truth
scrounging for morsels amid the garbage
wasting my youth
do or die time for the soul
all you blind and pious dolts
time to discover
who owns you after all
(should it exist)
glorifying corporeal suffering ...
the divine delirium
poison sans antiserum
oh the lies we have been fed!
oh the carrion!
pure, uncut sadism of the mind
dogma
the infecting kind
rabidly screwed over
until blind
mind raped ... and left for dead
amid soiled, misbegotten
maladjusted heads
left wavering in melancholic shades
of ...dread
my reflections cast no shadow
no one escapes from this reality alive
immaculate innocence
once the apple of my eye
now the worm i ate
christ ...
i'm repenting all the time
malignant spirits
consumed my grace
i do well to suffer inside this place
inside this hell ...
god's unreality
the sharpened thorn inside my skull
Author notes
Written April 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- your best of three choices by Big Hearted one.
311 points, ended May 14, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the darkness of the mind by mythian.
360 points, ended May 12, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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this was a really powerful write..your words were powerful and emotional and they flowed really well to..i enjoyed reading this write keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
hmmm
their were some amazing points to this poem, though it was hard to follow, and seemed a bit spastic. good luck -
pure evil in the form of poetry lol! great work malkinpuss and good luck in my contest
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Sneferu, thanks I appreciate your encouragement!
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arielleinstiLlife, thank you for your intelligent comment.
Edited on Apr 11, 11:41 p.m. because ''. -
nice malkinpuss, a bit heavy and dark but pure poetry nonetheless. You used excellent consonnance and rhyme. The rhythym was good too. I liked this piece overall. Nice job.
Arielle giselle -
manasvi, thank you so much for your wonderful comment. You made my day!!
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spectacular!
whoa!this has spectacular imagery..just wonderful..mind blowing!! i really loved it.. and i really mean that if i say it..there are few poems on this site that ive really liked.. and this one is definately one of them..i love your choice of words..and i love the way you choose to portray them..i like the images you build in my mind while i read them because youve captured my attention..right form the title to the very end!spectacular!i hope you do keep writing..and sharing..best of luck with the contest!keep them coming!cheers! -
bitter-kold. thanks so much1
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This poem is a nightmare given to words. I love nightmares. They inspire with their dark imagery and threatening demeanor. The way you used the wording to tighten up that feeling of uneasiness is just great. Great job.
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ocerus, that's cool. It makes sense to some. Your just not one of us.
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I read this twice and both times it made no sense to me. It seems like you used a lot of song lyrics and strung them together. I'm not against this, but if you're going to do this it has to make sense, even if it's surreal. I'm afraid this just didn't work for me, sorry! - oce
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forgotten truth, wow what an amazing acolade! Thanks so much!
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wow...
now, out of all the poems i've read on this site, this is my favorite. its absolutely amazing -
all4luv, thank you so much, your encouragement is so welcomed.
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This was really a spectacular write.
It was all so good that I can't even pick my favorite part!
You really have way with words, and all I can say honestly is that I wish I had written this.
Best of luck in the contest.
Great entry for sure.
Smoosh
~Sherry~
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Thorn In My Skull, why thank you! I left out "tyranny of the soul in my frantic editing so I re-incorporated it into the first stanza where it initially was. Again, thank you!
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This was fucking amazing. First, I love the picture. It sets the mood for your beautiful write. I love the imagery to death. I thought it was excellent. Your word choice and how you mixed in the 'titles' into this was excellent and did not mess up the flow. It was enjoyable, gorgeous, creative, and dark. An amazing write! Good luck and THANKS for entering. <3
~ThornIMS -
Some images that stood out -
i am the jackal
consuming insanity
feeding on carrion
slinking sneakiing
for stinking morsels
die time for divine
delirium pure, uncut sadism
metamorphosing
nto infecting bacterium
screwed up and shattered
mind rape soiled, crusades
whipping misshapen heads
their reflections
cast no shadows
nor can they escape
immaculate apple
the worm i ate
the malignant spirit
corrupting grace
i suffer well,
inside this place
hell a thorn
in my skull
i can no longer recall
redemption without
the fruit wasted
gaunt throughout the consumption
salivating idiot's fed desire
only hell makes it bleed
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buenaw
Thank you for your wonderful comment! -
buenaw
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!
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Revenge is Mine.
And God's favourite Angel fell from the sky and condemned to eternal fire.Imagery is haunting and darking as if struggling in the depths of a nighmare which is Hell.An intellectual and powerful piece.Well done and lots of luck in the Contest.Elizabeth. -
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buffytheparrotslaye
Thank you for your words of encouragement...they mean a lot to me!!
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