Last night
I wet my bed
With the salty tears
That I shed for myself
As I sit here staring off into the distance
Wondering how life could be different, better
I think about the questions I asked last night...
Do I truly exist? Why? What’s my purpose here?
More sobbing, more tears, more anger, more regret
Why do I keep going on when I have no reason to live?
I feel absent, imaginary; living lifelessly in this world
Losing hope, losing my reason to keep going on and on
Prove to me that I truly exist and maybe I’ll believe you
For my only proof is the screaming, the hatred told to me...
Telling me that I don’t deserve to exist, to keep living, to be alive
Why shall I can keep going on when no one even wants me here?
Through the tears I say I’m sorry, I scream it in my agony again and again
But please don’t forgive me; I don’t deserve to be forgiven; I don’t deserve to live
I have been abandoned by the world, by myself, by my family, by life...
My heart sobs, my soul screams, my mind reels in distress... why go on?
Transparent...
Worthless...
Nothing...
Nonexistent
Author notes
This poem was based off of: allpoetry.com/Poem/1907706
Please note that this isn't how I'm feeling right now. These are almost the exact opposite of my feelings right now. I haven't written a really dark piece in a while so here it is... for a change. 
I wrote the poem based off of the above poem to change it and put it into my own style and words.
Just wanted to thank all my friends for being there for me... without you guys these feelings might be real. You guys give me an existence and a reason to keep living.
Written April 1st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Undo me, Redo me by molliemayhem.
360 points, ended April 9, 2006, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Hi there Tim, this is the frist poem of yours I've read and Wow I'm impressed it's awesome such deep emotions wrote in these words well written and the words flow with great ease I tend to read and write on the dark side so I had a hard time finding one and I see from your authors notes you don't write much dark and then to find out it's not even your feelings a re-write Wow even more impressive to be able to pull such emotions out... Truely Amazing. P.S. I've been so enjoying the Poetic Bandits
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Glad to hear that you are liking the Poetic Bandits. Always nice thing to hear. I could probably rewrite this poem (even though its a rewrite of another person's poem) and make it even better since I wrote this before I started rhyming... hrm... maybe I'll see.
Glad you liked reading it 
--Tim
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Wow, there's times that I feel exactly like that. It's actually most of the time, but nobody really notices it and doesn't care. Some people, like Preacher and Sawyer, will notice it and help. Anyway, great powm as usual. I love it.
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so deep!!
Wow Tim! This piece is so very deep! I can relate to this so much, it isnt even funny. This literally took my breath away. I couldnt help but to think of myself as I was reading this.
It expresses such emotion! This is great. Ashley
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I sure am glad that this is not they way you are feeling right now. You definitely can write a poerful dark poem when you want to.
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Ah, the last line in the first paragraph in your author's comments.
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Which last line? This one:
"My heart sobs, my soul screams, my mind reels in distress... why go on?"
Or
"Nonexistent"
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My apologies; I had read your comments, but the first two sentences simply made it sound like you wrote that in a brief moment of those feelings, aren't feeling that way now, and haven't felt that way for a while. The last line didn't make sense to me I don't think you're rude, just a misunderstanding.
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Like I said in my author's comments, this wasn't based upon any personal feelings. This poem is absolutely fictional to me. I've never felt these feelings (at least to this measure) before. This poem was based upon the poem that I said in my comments. It was written for a contest where you wrote a poem based upon a poem that the contest holder wrote. That is how I produced this poem. I hope that makes sense. Your comment made it seem like you didn't read my author's comments and you thought that this was personal to me. I have different styles with all my poems... some I use a lot of imagery, description, and metaphors and such... but this one was different. It was based upon that poem. If you read some of my other works, you might find some that are exactly what you described. Check out some of my other poems and you might find that.
I hope you don't find me being rude, but I'm just defending myself against what you said... that I do write some poems how what you described and that this poem isn't personal. I do appreciate your comment. Thank you very much
--Tim -
Quite good
Don't underestimate your darker side; while we prefer not to feel this way, it is what lets us grow away from it through comprehension. Intentional or not, the poem did, usually, have a set meter that I enjoyed very much; bolding the words really helped to stress this and the emphasis on it. Only one suggestion: poems that explore feelings such as love or hate are so numerous it is hard to make something fresh; this is done by making fresh comparisons, using new imagery, and new ideas. Even when I am in this mood and express it through writing, I try hard to use something inchoate to stick out from the "usual". I feel, however, without the imagery, similes or metaphors, your poem still accomplished this. Using the suggestion may make it more powerful, though.
Great job; sometimes poems are good to look back on and reflect upon. -
This was amazing. I really enjoyed reading this.
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Why thank you very much for your wonderfully encouraging comment I really appreciate it.
--Tim -
this poem is very heavy and i found myself reading it again and again, you have great depth and insight into life
well done -
Thank you for your comment I really like the way this poem turned out. Also, I got the gold trophy in the contest so that was another good thing about it.
Thanks again!
--Tim -
I really liked this as well, and am extremely thankful that you don't feel like this. Reading it reminded me of a discussion I had once with a boy experiencing feelings of unreality. You certainly captured the mood. Well done!
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Phew, wow! Yes indeed, haven't read a dark poem or anything from you in a while. Reeeeeeally long while actually, but this was fatabulous (?? well you know ). I'm more then, um, 'relieved' to hear this isn't true about you personally. Beautiful, very descriptive, an understatement to call it heart felt. I loved this, Timothy, great job!!
*God Bless*
Sarah
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I'm glad I could rewrite your poem in such a way that you liked it. I was afraid that I might offend you or something like that. Thanks for encouraging me to enter your contest. Even if I don't win anything, I know I got a fairly decent poem out of it which is better in the long run. Good luck with judging your contest I hope you get some more entries before time is up!
--Tim -
This is an amazing interpretation of my piece and I love how you even incorporated pieces from the orginal poem. Emphasizing some of the phrases really brought out the emotion in the piece. This is great and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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Hey Tim! I really liked this poem it showed real emotion even though they werent your emotions but it was good.I liked the line
"Prove to me that I truly exist and maybe I’ll believe you"It was creative and true. How can we really know that we exist? And when you siad in your authors box :
"Just wanted to thank all my friends for being there for me... without you guys these feelings might be real. You guys give me an existence and a reason to keep living." I wanted you to know that i feel the same everyday. and for me sometimes these feelings are true and sometimes they arent but no matter what my feelings are i still have friends that get me through anything and everything! Great Job and good luck in the contest!
God Bless,
Kara -
Hmm...Careful how you fling that around. You can stick your neck out, and watch it get cut off.
So, so ,so....i havent read the piece of work you based this of, but that doesnot mean i can find something buried in your vesres here, can i? This was very moving. And though this is the opposite of how you may see the world, I, like all the other human beings out their, can relate so much. It's poetry like this that really hits home. I liked how you open your poem and ended it with similar wording/themes/allthtjazz...Compare it to taking a breath(the intro), holding it (the body), And finally letting it go(the ending). It was in a sense like that, a breath, like "poetry is the poets drug". It was beautifully colored with raw, living emotion. Here i go again.....you must excuse me, i'm notorious for going on and on in comments....I think i got my point across. This was excellently composed. You have a way with words as well as with your artwork.
Til Our Paths cross again,
~sui generis777~ -
got kinda scared there, for a sec...and wow! it seems angst and pain is always easier to express then joy...i dont no, but when someone writes 'happy' it comes off as corny...but yea.
wow, readin the poem off which u got inspired...doesnt sound liek tim for some reason...
well glad to here this isnt personal as of now, and if this ever does become personal no that im always around if ya need anything
mushy -
WONDERFUL POEM
Well I must say Tim I am so glad you wrote that authors comment. I was starting to worry as I read it. This was an amazing poem. Very heartfelt and wonderful, vivid imagery. Thank you for sharing. Takew care, Love, Mom.
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wow, well, I am so glad that these are not your true feelings toward life right now. But, for some, it is. It must be horrible to go throught those thoughts and emotions. I do have one suggestion though, on the second stanza, first line, is it supossed to be "As I still here staring..." or As I stand here staring? just wondering... Otherwise great write abd good luck in the contest!
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