Looking around at everything perfect
Not really seeing whats real
Its so dark behind me but from
what I can see its a mix of colors
except the little goth boy looking at with
dazed and in a mess of confusion if
only I knew what he was thinking, but
I do I dare want to know, just expecting the worst of his fear
I try everyday to feel what he isn't but I just
have given up on faith, and my heart from living but
I don't get why the way we live life
I'm getting so tired of all the exceptions to the way I feel this very
Moment.................
Author notes
I just felt weird one day on the bus when I thought of this one It just poured out of me like the end of song....
Written March 31st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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I real enjoyed the sponteneity in this poem and how it comes pouring. I also like the setting and the movement of this poem. Good stuff, I've really liked this one. cake
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I've had poems like this come to me. They just come into my mind and start pouring out, feeling like they'll never stop. Very powerful, emotional, and descriptive write once again. Great job! Keep up the amazing work!
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I really loved this poem although at this point right here "except the little goth boy looking at with
dazed and in a mess of confusion if" I didnt like how the one line flowed into the other it didnt really mesh together.
and in this line "I do I dare want to know, just expecting the worst of his fear" I think you might want to get rid of the first I. other than that I really liked it and think you have great talent.
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