She's a selfish brat
Who's handed everything
She wants
Every moment, every time
Magazines, food, special clothes
New computer games, movies
She's not happy unless the world
Revolves around her
Doesn't care if she
Hurts others
Who try to help her
Or be her friend
She uses them
Uses their friendship
And loyalty
To control them
She's in charge
And when she's done,
Taken all they have to give,
She leaves them
In the dust
Doesn't care
Or look back
Moves on
To
Her next victim
Like a tiger, stalking the Savannah
Peeking through the tall grass
At the herds of antelope and gazelle
Looking for a stray creature
To hunt and devour
And when she sees one
She pounces
She says they'll be friends forever
Then she forgets them
Leaves them
Ignores them
Before they see it coming
She's gone already
Past them
Over them
They feel the pain
She feels the same
Or no feelings
Like a heartless witch
Boiling emotions in her stone cauldron
Cackling as it burns
While they suffer
She laughs and lies
"It wasn't like that,
We drifted apart"
But,
To drift apart, don't
Both people have to give up?
Both hands stop reaching towards each
Other
Letting go slowly
Like two leaves blowing in the breeze
Not
One hand pulling back
While the other holds on desperately
One leaf fighting the wind
All by itself
While they still try
She makes them cry
They'd rather die
Than lose her, but she just smiles
Tells them it's over
Nothing left
Past or present
Then
Moves on with her day
Just walks away
Still doesn't care
She turns her back
On her former
"Best friends forever"
Doesn't look back
At the sleepovers, birthday parties,
The hours spent playing in the sun
She doesn't remember
Or realize that
What goes around
Comes around
And
Someday in the near future
When she doesn't see it coming
They'll come back
United
Those who have been hurt by her selfish
Ways
Brought together by the pain
Now an unstoppable force
Ready to return the hurt
They'll get their
Revenge
And it will be her on
The ground, on her
Knees
Kneeling before them
Hands clasped,
Eyes wide,
Begging for
Another chance
At happiness
But
She
Won't
Be
Forgiven.
They'll get their revenge
On her
And she'll know what it's like
To be hurt
They'll
Pay her back
For her crimes,
Her pain,
Her illusions...
And I'll be one of them.
Author notes
if you read the whole thing, THANK YOU! I know it's kinda long, and different from what I normally write, but it's how I was feeling. This is the last poem I will ever write about this subject
Written March 31st, 2006
I chose option 3.
In a list
A contest entry
- Problems with Society #2 by Whispered Secrets.
300 points, ended October 18, 2006, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hate Me, Kill Me by thorlorn thanatos.
380 points, ended March 30, 2007, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My First Contest by fallenangel671.
800 points, ended May 6, 2007, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Honest Critiques by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 14, 2007, 67 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Silver into Gold! by Celticpoet.
300 points, ended June 9, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Lighted Night Days by Fallen Archangel.
500 points, ended June 29, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your ABSOLUTE Best by TwistedTatum.
364 points, ended June 25, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Another Anything Contest by DeadlyTurnip.
840 points, ended July 20, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 options for the creative poet by bananasfoster42.
700 points, ended August 2, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make It Dark by peregrin.
450 points, ended August 10, 2008, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DARK by skilter.
350 points, ended August 15, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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i like this the other one was better but thats my opinion
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well thought out and good imagination.
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It is a creative write, kinda different... a little long yes, but still good.
Different, really emotion there...
Good luck in my contest! -
this is a really great write. thanks for entering
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I liked this poem a lot, not much else I can say here.
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I liked this poem. It really allowed your pain to come out in words. Good job!
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Bravo. I could easily see everything in it as happening right before my eyes.
Every metaphore just fit in place and it all worked together, each piece of it all rotating equally as the poem continued on.
I liked it alot.
good luck in my contest and all those in your future.
adieu.
-Lucian Adonis
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Thank you for subjecting yourself to my review. This is a very powerful poem that you obviously wrote with a lot of emotion. You were definitely hurt by someone to be able to pen these word so well. I can not find anything wrong with this poem. I think it flows well and the style of writing seems to fit the subject matter. You can be very proud of this poem.
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i loved this poem, it was awesome and i loved how you ended it, i thought that it was a well written poem and i loved how you expressed your hate towards this person, it was an awesome poem and i loved it,
good luck in the contest
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
It took me a full two minutes just to finish this lol.
Poplular people just like getting friends.
It's like myspace.
You add a friend
and never talk to them
even if they keep trying to talk to you.
=/
if you're shallow.
You're not apparently.
Neither am I.
I don't add people who I think will betray my trust.
.
I liked this poem.
Good write
:::hugs x hearts::: -
Who gives a damn about long? This poem is so great, cuz I've been there. There's little Miss. Perfect, the one who will never see the damage she's done, and then there's me, the real angel, the reject due to her selfish ways. Oh, trust me I will get my revenge. Just wait til I sign her yearbook and tell her everything I've felt since she left me... oh, yeah, then she'll have it to save forever, the friend she hurt so deeply expressing her final weeping tears.
Okay, yeah, sorry about my ranting there. But you see, it happens to everyone, and you managed to express it so wonderfully. Good work! -
That was fabulous and I usualy can't make it through a long poem. I have had many false friends like this burn me in the past. Brings up the bad in my memories.
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Awsome!
YESH it's very very very very long very long lol but it's also soooo good. I often want write like, write a hate poem about someone, but it never comes out right. THIS is excellent. It's great, no wonder your stupid teacher think that you write better than all the other kids. It's so filled with like anger I love it! And oh my god the ending! that was the absolute best part of it. If they didnt read the whole thing they missed out. The ending was spectacular, so fitting. I also happen to like your style soooo I'm going to bookmark this one lol. Great job! =\ I'm like so jealous lmao. -
WOW! Yes very long- but VERY VERY powerful. I think this is the best peom you've ever written. I loved it. There is so much truth here. Despite it's length...every word made me crave the next. Such a wonderful talented young poet you are! I'm so proud for you to be my AP sis! I love you babe - L.S.
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Yea, it was long, but you got out all of the emotion you were feeling and as it went on...it just brought you to the edge of your seat with hatred towards this person whom, I'm sure, most have known someone like it. I know I have and I can relate perfectly to this piece. This was very well written. Great work!
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this was a great write it was a bit long but it was really worth reading you put so much emotion into this write and it really catpured a part of me in you word you also did a great job on the imagry keep up the great work
vampiry julianna -
Knees
Kneeling before them
Hands clasped,
Eyes wide,
Begging for
Another chance
At happiness
But
She
Won't
Be
Forgiven.
They'll get their revenge
On her
And she'll know what it's like
To be hurt
They'll
Pay her back
For her crimes,
Her pain,
Her illusions...
And I'll be one of them.
very long
but the length ADDED to its intensity, its lines grew shorted adding power and a sense of sudden-ness to the whole piece. Great use of wording added again to the urgency
Well done firstly, it was a lovely poem
secondly, it was a powerful one, as i have already said, the last lines were, to me the best, rounding off a truly great poem
well done
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Wow!! This is a very good read. I know this girl of who you write. I think we all know her. I love the way you put your emotions into words, great comparisons. Excellent job!!
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