Sitting here all alone
I feel so bad; on my own
No sound that i can utter.
I....need you,I can barley mutter.
I want your shoulder to cry on
Every one else has come and gone
I need to hear your comforting voice
Of course, you are my first choice
You let me know when you are sad
I can sense it when you are mad
Please show your love once more
Come knock on my loves door.
Help me bear life's burdens again,
Come,soon,before my troubles begin
I need you now to fill my heart
Please,before we have to part.
Author notes
WEll I wrote this in school on the 29. I felt so bad I wanted to tell someone how I felt so I took out my notebook and wrote it
Written March 30th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Great writing
Brilliant poem. Just so good. The words flow effortlessly. Easy on the eye and easy to understand. It is straightforward and to the point. Keep up the very good work. You have a talent. -
Very vivid raw emotion in this one. Quite well done. I am impressed. You put a lot of yourself into this on.
God bless you
RH
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Hey Sarah I know you left this comment a while ago, but I did have a questiopn I was wondering if i could ask you. It is about guys and stuff like that, but not who this one was written for. Its the one i wrote lastly. WEll thanks.
Kimberly
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WEll yes you can enter twice in the contest. What exactly do you mean about using tis one? I dpon't understand!
Well thanks for leaving a comment!
Kimberly
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well thanks. Umm ya Me and him are just friends now, but I can acept that. We are really close though, but ya.
Kimberly
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hey, can i use the poem at this very moment as my scrimpy poem in your contest?? just wondering
and can i do two entries in the contest, cause you sent me another word and iwanted to take a whack at it!!!!
thanks for the comment
~love -
Wow! This is a great poem, I really like it! I hope that things got better between you and this person, keep up the good work, you did a really good job, I really liked it
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Woohoo!
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Hello, this is Sarah. Well, since I figured I wanted to talk to you, I should start to read some of your poems. I really enjoyed this, although I am sorry to read that you can't have the person you want to be your comfort to be there for you. Times are tough, no? And crappy at times. But thankfully, we get through it and turn out to be stronger then we were before. Especially if you add God in the mix.
Anywho, I felt I could see you acting this out, see you sitting there by yourself, wondering all of this and just.. feeling hopless. And I'm beyond sorry you had to feel this. If you are still feeling this way, then I encourage you to talk to somebody else that you feel you can turn to, if not the person that you love. I do hope that you won't be hurt if he isn't there for you, however. That would not be good, not at all. Alright, anyways, beautiful poem, short and to the point. You have a great talent, I look forward to reading more of your work. Also, I hope things work out for you. I'm here if you did ever want to just vent or anything. Please don't worry about it if you ever wanted to, although I'm not forcing you to. 
*God Bless*
Sarah -
Great!
Hey there... I find it only fair to leave a comment since you entered my contest without a trophy. But since you have one now, you can take your poem out of my contest after you recieve this comment. Sorry, I know you'll understand... I'm trying to get people who dont have trophies a trophy. Thanks! Anyways, about this piece... I like it. I think you did a great job on the rhyming in this poem... it's perfect! Same with the rhythm and meter and flow of the whole thing... well managed! Your word choice was good too... the whole poem was well- written and everything was well- put. Also, I like how you started with the beginning... nice opening for the whole poem. The ending I liked even better... excellent closing and a great way to sum it all up. You did a wonderful job getting your feelings across to the reader... I could literally feel your pain! Anyways, well- done and keep it up!
Julia -
thanks for your comment
ya I liked this one more also well ttly bye
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great
This one is really good.This is much better than your others,not that there not good or anything.but yeah im really impressed.keep up the good work.seeya -
Chelsea doesn't know who it is... I don't know who it is... You need to tell someone!! Good use of emotions in your poem... I like the combination between the sadness and between the love. One suggestion for some of the flow would be for this line: "Every one else has gone" change it to: "Every one else has come and gone" This will help the flow and make the overall poem run smoother in the long run. Great job You should have tried entering this into a contest... There is always several love poem contests going on.
--Tim -
aaawww!!! this is really sad, wow, hey, who were you thinking of.....'cause I know that you can't write without an inspiration....wait, your my sis, I should know already *angery* lol! well, great job. 's and
es to ya!
~*Chelsea*~
Edited on Mar 30, 7:20 p.m. because ''. -
Very very good poem. I feel that loneliness myself tonight. Great writing. Thank you for sharing.
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beautiful
i loved tis...its Qt.
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