hummingbird ....(haiku)
wings flutter quickly
hovering by the flower
sipping sweet nectar
standing still in space
as it hovers gracefully
perched upon the air
hummingbird so pure
god's tiny creation brings
pleasure to our hearts
by dee garner
February 16, 2003
Author notes
We have a hummingbird nest outside our offices with two babies. They've just begun to fly and are wonderful to watch.
Written February 16th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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They are my favourite birds! Such lovely tiny creatures, tiny bust fast as an arrow
Lovely images of colours and beauty
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A great haiku. Hummingbird is so tiny you can't hardly see them. They are very small bird who loves the trumpet vine and the bright colored flowers.
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Thank you, Maggie for such a nice comment
Your read and comment is much appreciated
Dee
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Sweet!!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Granna this was incredible!!! I loved it you did so so awesome with this write!!!
Kari -
Excellent, just excellent, super haiku! Great triple haiku, very good, I enjoyed every line, such beauty and fantastic imagery, a great piece
best wishes as always
~Moonstone Virgo~
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Actually, Viyanna, each stanza is a haiku in itself. Each one can stand alone yet it's related to the others. I need to go through my list of haiku because soem of them aren't strickly haiku but were placed in the list before my more informed days...lol
I'm glad you like this one, I love hummingbirds, too, they're so graceful and cute. Outside on our patio we've had them come up to us and hover close in front of us as if to say...hey, I'm back
Dee
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so, i am seeing that a haiku can have more than three lines. this is new to me. now i am really confused.
you wrote about one of my favorite birds and you wrote about them beautifully. viyanna -
this is so peaceful and delicate
i love this picture too
i feel as if i need a nap now
wonderful haiku
ash -
I love hummingbirds. Mainly because they remind me so much of my mom. She has hummingbird decorations all over her house.
I love watching them too. Great poem and I love the pic/animation too!
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Dee I honestly don't know the thoughts behind Haiku (I know it's something to do with the syllable count) but wanted to stop by & tell you what a delight this was to read. I love the idea that their wings suspend them in air. We have one or two in the neighborhood as well, that periodically swing by my backyard and I loved the thought that you could cause me to think of them.
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I don't think I ever read this before.. I LOVE the picture, catz.. Absolutely LOVE it.
It's a beautiful piece of poetry... Heck, I can't even write a HAIKU.. lol
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lovly, very lovly, one of the best poems i'v seen in my 13 years of writen poems. the emtion u put into that must of been great, all creatures with wonderfullmeant
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I love your poem!! I'm new at writing poetry but yours was very inspirational! the way it expressed so much happiness!
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great!
this is lovely! Basho would be proud, elegantly executed. My one criticism comes really from my own taste more than anything else. I tend to shy away from referring to things as "God's creation" only because it tends to distance the reader from your subject. In an apostrophic poem such as this I find it more effective if one is more democratic, like Henry Miller for instance, and the poet stays on the same plain as the subject, no higher or lower and brings a more human and less spiritual love to the subject. Like Kobayashi's (I forget his exact wording so this may not stick to the classic haiku form):
This flea on my arm
Full to bursting with my blood
I love him for it
He bring a real human love to the subject and as such the reader is brought into a direct relationship with the poem. As soon as God is brought into it, the poem becomes more elusive I find because you are bringing in something abstract. (but this could simply be due to my agnostic sensibilities). Anyway I loved the poem, there was a genuine sweetness to it that comes through... -
wow...you get a lot of comments...any who...i'll say i'm not much of a haiku person, but i know when there is one i like...and this one...i should say these, i like...all of them...they fit nicely into the rules of haiku and are very expressive...
you did a nice job...
peace
chris -
Great poem,
and such a lovely peaceful background
to back it up!
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Such lovely words that come from humming birds! This is a beatiful poem!
-JE -
Absoluutly wonderful and amazing!
Oh I do love hummingbirds!!!! How they flit back and forth so quickly with such grace!
Dee, this was wonderful!
~Laura 
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this finds a way to touch my heart!
I did enjoy this!
This put a smile within my heart!
Thank you for sharing this my friend!
Nature finds a way to touch me within my heart!
Keep taking me to places that I've never been before!
Keep penning on my friend!
Bill -
i love hummingbirds...have none of them at my house...just a bunch of pests that like to nest in the overhang of my front porch! very annoying. But this was very nice...smooth.
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Beautiful Dee, the animation is lovely too.
~Von~
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Hi Dee, these are wonderful! Hummmingbirds are amazing. Not too common here in my part of Wisconsin, but have seen them on occassion. I have one posted about hummingbirds. You might enjoy it. I love your picture thingy. It adds a special touch.
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Dee,
This is sweet a lovely read nicely done. Sherry
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beautiful, excellent hummingbird haiku
What can I say? Absolutely awesome, your unique style amazing me, ever time I read. I've learned alot, but still feel so confused on many things at site. If, u can, I can.... Just get frustrated. -
perfect
in my whole life i've only seen one hummingbird! it happend so quickly but it was so beautiful to watch. as a young child i thought hummingbirds were big bees and i was afraid of them until my mom bought me the national geographic binder with all of god's wonderful creatures of all shapes, sizes, and genus' packed into one wildlife set. how adorable are those tiny ones? awww
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i love the way you connect them together excellent job and very vivid imagery and the animation is so cute
-Silent -
very good
Again good job. I can see them out side the window. -
Brilliant
Perfect. Just plain perfect. I wish I could do them damned Haikus like you do.
Maybe some sushi .... nah.
Sag -
so true, a hummingbird can bring so much beauty to one day. I haven't seen a hummingbird in a few years, but they are so pretty, so graceful, and such a wonder to look at really nicely done haikus, and very nice imagery. the picture was so cool, added to the poem nicely. awesome all around, very nice poem
kayla* -
absolutely delightful Dee!!! the little animation really adds to the piece, makes the reader feel they're watching these magnificent little creatures out of the window with you...superb haikus, so wonderfully done!!
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excellent
oh mom how sweet humming birds, God's favorite bird I think, so tiny in it's perfection, God knew what he was doing when he made this tiny creation of wonder. Yes I love humming birds, too. so very much. Awesome little things I say. Love to you and a totally great write too. -
Can almost hear those wing beating so fast they hum. The haiku giving the impression of speed between rests. Really great work -tj-
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Wow, the imagery here is exceptional. Since I can't do "haiku", i always admire anyone who can... and now that i'd read this, being 3 little haiku's in one poem, i'm thinking that approach might be the only way i'll ever be able to write one... i'm way too wordy ...lol
Beautiful poem, i really enjoyed this,
~ Wendy -
Nice, I like it
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so very lovely
i truly enjoyed -
Remarkable isn't it. Wow, so little feels so much. Lovely piece.
~Mary O -
Outstanding!!!!!
Dee...AMAZING HAIKU!!!! The imagery was sharp and true. Could almost picture myself standing in a garden watching the Hummingbird flit from leaf to leaf. Haiku is not easy to write because you only have 17 syllables to use. You did a superb job of using those 17 syllables in each segment of this beautiful Haiku.
***Ivy Rose -
a piece in beauty
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Very) very) pretty.. Wonderful job on these" Love the flying hummingbirds ..Soooo cute! ...Smilesss MINA~`
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I love the way you string these together. The middle one is awesome, aptly describing a humming bird in such picturesque language... I can SEE it!
standing still in space
as it hovers gracefully
perched upon the air
Bravo!!!
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