My only fear.
It lingers in my mind.
The thought haunts
my every waking moment.
It infiltrates my dreams
and oppresses my soul.
I once was alone
in a dismal eternity of black.
I fear that I will return there.
My greatest fear is to be alone.
Completely, utterly alone.
Surrounded by nothingness
infinately in every direction.
Nothing but black.
No sound.
No light.
No emotion.
Only fear.
Only me. . .
and black. . .
everywhere.
Swallowing.
Drowning.
Smothering.
Choking.
A universe of complete emptiness.
I fear that it will overtake
my world and my soul once more.
No happiness.
No love.
No pain, or even sadness.
Only fear.
Only my mind. . .
and the cold, suffocating black.
A fate worse than death.
Worse than hell.
Worse than depression
or emotional pain and anguish.
Worse than sadness
or unbearable physical torment.
It is maddening.
That void that once
represented my heart.
That void in tangible form.
Surrounding, stretching beyond
all comprehensible bounds.
It is beyond light and dark,
beyond life and death,
beyond sanity and insanity,
beyond thought and comprehension,
beyond body and spirit.
The complete nothingness.
The absolute emptiness.
It haunts me,
taunts me,
beckons me,
sickens me,
dazes me,
crazes me,
consumes me,
devours me,
envelops me,
shrouds me.
I won't go back.
I can't go back.
. . .
It won't have me.
I will not succumb to it's
overwhelming, daunting presence.
. . .
It is there.
I know it is there.
I have seen it.
I have dreamed it.
I have LIVED it.
. . .
I won't go back.
It won't have me.
I'd rather die.
Death would be
a pleasant alternative.
. . . . .
YOU CAN'T HAVE ME!!!
MY LIFE AND MY SOUL
ARE NOT YOURS TO TAKE!!!
NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU
OBSCURE EVERYTHING I KNOW
EVERYTHING I FEEL
EVERYTHING I HAVE
EVERYTHING I HEAR
SEE
TOUCH
TASTE
HATE
SMELL
HOLD
LOVE
CHERISH
ENJOY
. . . . .
NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU
RULE OVER ME!!!!
NEVER AGAIN SHALL YOU
BE THE UNRELENTING
TYRANT OVER MY VERY EXISTENCE!!!
Yet I fear that you might.
I fear that it is possible.
I fear that someday I may just
slip back into the ultimate void.
This and this alone I fear.
Author notes
I WON'T GO BACK. . .
I CAN'T GO BACK. . .
I CAN'T. . .
I WON'T. . .
Written March 29th, 2006
A contest entry
- Darkest Fears by The Rose God Ororon.
300 points, ended April 14, 2006, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Awesom
I still like this poem. and the Mt. Dew Haikus. -
well that was pretty interesting actually...pretty dark, and u really like to use lots of detail and everything. good job...sorry for not remembering u...i feel bad
but anyways. keep up the good work
luv ki -
Wow..I'm speechless....
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la poema. that is how you say the poem in spanish. but yeah. this was a very good poem. What exactly is it you speak of in this poem? depression? or something else?
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the poem was crazed and put you in the mind of the isolated person. i love it.
i hate the last half. i agree with enigma, the NO part of the poem lost any poetic nature it carried from the beginning. you CAN pull the style off, and it's possible to work a building of emotion into a total climax like you've attempted to, but i think you jumped the gun here a little bit.
If you want an example, give me an IM, i think i still have a poem EXACTLY LIKE THIS from a couple years ago in the archives of my page.
Matt -
wow that was REALLY intense!
one of my worse fears is so often a muse in my poetry. but those are the few that i do not post.... ever.
this poem was SO increadably Vivid and had a slight touch of being a little morbid.
which i liked, i love morbid.
morbid just seems to work better! at least to me
i like the dark and harsh side of the world. it makes people apreciate what they have that is good a whole lot better.
i really liked this nate!
it was great!
hugs
lisa -
uuuuummmmmmm.......0.0 damn yeah that pretty much explains me i'm freaked you get a dollar lets see who else can get one
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Well, I read it, all of it, and it was very long, like the never ending poem I dare say. It was difficult to read due to your choice in color, I might add. However, it was quite captivating in some parts, written very well, and in others a bit confusing. The one thing that I like most about this poem has to be it's content, and it's ability to hold my attention,it excited me with it's mystery, but that was only in the beginning of the poem. The one thing I dont like about this poem are the last six stanzas or the "No!!!!" part of the poem. I feel like when we get to that part we've lost all the poetic nature of the poem. I dont think that caps and the repetitive "No" is needed. The beginning of your poem was written so masterfully, so professionally, and the end just didnt fit. It was more inept. I would have enjoyed it more with out the ranting. You're a good poet, and this is a good poem, but I think it could have been better and that's how I really feel about this write.
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I could relate to this in a way. The part about lonliness is a big fear of mine. I'm afriad to lose those I care about so I try to keep them close as much as possiable. And when they slip away and get really depressed. I would love to tell you how wonderful this poem is..but I've run out of words to express just how well it's written. Hopefully this will do. I applaud you.
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This is something far beyond depression, far beyond the madness brought on by depression, but somewhere deep at it's source was initiated by depression yes. I have since conquered depression, with the help of a certain most wonderful angel, but I know it still lurks within me. I know that it's not truly 100% gone, and that is why I fear. That is why it is the only thing I fear, as it is far more terrible than anything and everything else I've ever experienced all together in my life, and even in death. Nothing compares.
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muy bien. el libro es mucho fantastico. ha i cant say poem in spanish...w/e but it was very morbid but i know how you feel. i am afraid of the same thing. i liked it very much =]
[lauren] -
I think this is everyone's fear. I know I am afraid of this.
granyeri if you can't see it highlight it with your mouse. -
Cannot read any of this because the colour will not show up on the screen I am using at work. Will check this later. Sorry.
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weird
mmm...this is certainly very dark...is the void you speak of depression...or something much more profound???....very good write..well done.
floorboards
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