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That We Were Kind

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Does anyone know where the little boy went?
The little boy who used to be me?
He’s still alive somewhere inside this shell
Though the shell is all you can see.

 

Can you still see him reaching out for love
From behind these time-worn eyes?
The child with a heart as bright as the stars
Hiding beneath this thin disguise?

 

What a cruel trickster Father Time can be
Changing our costumes as we age.
From infant to child, and from young to old,
A new character with every stage.

 

We might as well be four different people.
The adult barely resembles the child.
The external transformation is so complete,
Young and old are rarely reconciled.

 

But there are some whose eyes still twinkle,
For whom the child within never dies.
The outside world can see only the surface
But they know how the surface lies.

 

What can we learn from all this changing?
From the fact that nothing is real?
How can we judge by a deceptive facade
That hides the way we truly feel?

 

The only path to true knowledge, it seems,
Is to think of everyone that we see
As the child they were, who they are today,
And the old person they soon will be.

 

We should also see them as dead and gone,
Their short life on earth finally done,
With all their trials rendered null and void,
All their battles either lost or won.

 

Whitman wrote, "The powerful play goes on
And you may contribute a verse."
The same is true for every person we meet.
We make their lives better or worse.

Thus, we should measure disheartening words
And make sure they need to be spoken
So we won't be among those who caused dismay
If they reach the end of life heartbroken. 

And when those we've known are old and gray,
Remembering years they left behind, 
Comforting words we said might return again
With the memory that we were kind.

Author notes

I don't always succeed in applying it, but this is one of my core philosophies.

Adults might be a little kinder to each other if they acknowledged the fact that the child still lives just below the surface, with all the same needs for love, acceptance and maybe a little praise. Praise an adult and you'll see their face light up the same way a child's does. We're all just children with bigger vocabularies.

I got mad at someone once and was about to open up a can of whoop ass when a friend of mine said, "Think about why he's acting that way. It's a cry for help more than anything else." I decided he was right so I tried kindness instead and the "jerk" ended up telling me his life story - a story of death and loss and heartbreak - the real reason for his behavior. As well as seeing the child in adults, I also try to imagine the old person they will become, and meditate on whether or not I want them to remember me as just another person who reacted blindly to their surface behavior, or as someone who tried to help them with a kind word or gesture. And if that's impossible and the best I can do is ignore them, at least I'm not adding to their pain. I don't think the power of a kindness can ever be under-estimated. Who knows what changes the reverberations can lead to?

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."
- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC), The Lion and the Mouse

"The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"There are no thanks for a kindness, which has been delayed."
- Anonymous

"Compassion is the basis of all morality."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

"There is no duty more obligatory than the repayment of kindness."
- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)

"Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses."
- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

"Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness."
- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC), The Confucian Analects

"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Ettiene De Grellet

"Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness."
- George Sand (1804-1876)

"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever."
- Margaret Cho, weblog, 03-11-04

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."
- The Dalai Lama (1935 - )

"That best portion of a good man's life,
His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love."
- William Wordsworth (1770-1850)

Written March 28th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 30 of 36     1 2  next >  (show all)
  • badass poem

    thanks for the poem, it really struck a corde with me. i like the quote from "o me, o life". whitman is my favorite poet. thank you for writing this.


  • gothgirlraven
    April 15
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    i like it the poem really shows what happens as we age and what we leave behin

  • scenario five
    December 21, 2007

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    ...aw.
    *is speechless*
    Reda it 'cos Obliviouse Mind read it and said it was awesome.

    its beyond that.
    makes my poetry look like a dead dog. ...

    a very very amazing write.

    -Jenn


  • Oblivious Mind
    December 21, 2007

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    i feel so little now

    uh loss of words I absolutely loved this and hope I am not insulting you for posting on this page but I loved it filled with knowledge and wisdom and overflowing with compassion


    • Mark Rickerby gold member
      December 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Insulted? Not at all. I'm honored by your comments and glad you found so much in it. Thanks very much. Happy Holidays.

      Mark
  • MasterReaper
    November 4, 2007

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    Very Nice

    toatally agree! I have come to know that as time goes on, the evil, sin, and twisted ideas of the world corrupt your soul, and as you age the corruption increases. The poisen of the world atacks your soul, and you change, and forget who you are.

    You are, who you are.


  • Music-of-the-Rain
    October 3, 2007
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    I adore the way you explored this concept, it was very unique and eye catching. The imagery and progression of thought drew me in.
    This made me think of a Bible verse:
    "Do unto others as you would have done unto you"
    ('Golden rule' right? Variations seen in many cultures, such as those you pointed out in your notes)

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    April 9, 2006
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    Hey Stuart,

    I've been meaning to say thank you for that incredible analysis of and commentary on this poem. That's got to be the most thorough and thoughtful response I've ever received. You definitely did give me a lot of food for thought. Thank you, my friend.

    Mark

  • Somebody-New
    April 2, 2006
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    this is an excellent write, very interesting to read. It had an excellent message in it, and its something everyone should read. excellent job.

  • TrueAmbition
    March 31, 2006
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    You like to write long things, don't you. How on earth do you find the time and the energy to write soooo much...

    Well anyway, good poem. Captured the wonderful essence of our elderly.
  • meena krish
    March 30, 2006
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    This is an amazing write..I just don't know where to start with my comments! The message you have delivered here is priceless and one that everyone should keep in mind. One never knows how far or how deep a kind word can touch a person..
    Thank you for this wonderful entry..and good luck.
    Take care~

  • Stuart Higginson
    March 29, 2006
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    Hi Mark!!!!
    Well here goes

    Fantastic write, to begin with!!!! It is true-speaking, highly significant to both the individual and society, and enjoyable, thought-whipping reading

    Society is quick to judge, yet reluctant to scratch beneath the surface of all the eye can see and the ear can hear. Towards the individual, all too often other individuals and the societal whole seem to have ears and eyes that are very "selective" too, in the information they choose to receive!!! A person's past is very poignant in virtually -though (perhaps) not literally- all cases to their present state of being, but society seems only able to see and hear of someone what it wishes too. People often do not like to consider that "where judgement is cast, reason, explanation or a source for understanding usually exist, and should be first sought before said judgement comes down in lightning bolts". Sadly it seems that for society, it's easier to condemn at-will, rather than aid or support. Yet ironic, is it not, that "those who often cast the first stone of judgement .. are often those who should run farthest and fastest away from it?!!" One thing I dislike about society's tendency to judge others (and some individual's tendencies to do the same) is that there is too much hypocrisy hidden beneath the cloak of the judge.

    Many times I have pondered or reflected over how I am reacting, or how I reacted to, a situation with someone, especially in relationships; whether I could've held back; been more understanding, or forgiving etc., and whether if I did not, would any other opportunity come for anyone else to do so? ie would that person continue through life always meeting the same fate and remaining unaided, not getting any support or understanding, and their underlying issues going unresolved. Simultaneously though, I have also learnt in balance, that we all have to take a degree of responsibility for our actions and indeed our reactions; it is ultimately the individual concerned to take responsibility for their own life and actions, but others can help, aid, assist, support, listen, etc etc. Sadly few really do, because again it is easier to judge or walk away etc.

    We've all got something to offer others, since no individual walks exactly the same road as another; we make different encounters, experiences etc etc., and have different actions and reactions and learning-tendencies. ie positive learning (self-growth/strengthening and self-realization) and negative learning from experiences (focus on mistakes, regrets, attitude of self-pity etc). If others share their experiences and wisdoms, or even just listen and try to understand, then it might offer a person a little scope to "open up" and even gain something new by way of perspective.

    In furtherance to what you said in the author box: "Who knows what changes the reverberations can lead to", I'd like to add: "Each individual has the potential to strike a chord in the melody of life". I do believe that we (others) can have an impact/influence on the life of another; it is up to us to determine whether that will be positive or negative though, which we confirm through our actions or reactions with that individual. Causes and consequences, good and bad, can send ripples across the ocean of life for many miles beyond the line of vision, and indeed beyond the present day.

    I liked your humility, in admittance that you're not able always to to do the best or right thing; indeed it's true that while we can aspire, at times we simply "react as we did at the time". People are human at the day's end, but if we can learn from it (as you express that you did etc), and consciously try to be mindful of such learning, then we too become better for it, and it becomes easier to achieve.

    In answer to your question in the opening stanzas, I think the "little boy" or inner child sometimes can run into the bowels of our being, deeper and deeper into the depths of the various stages of maturation, as life experiences come along to tamper with the preconceptions of life we form in childhood (well, some of us; not everyone of course, as people have different experiences in childhood just as they do later in life); but even when he rests against the weariness of life experiences and fights disillusionments from within, or hides away to deal with fears for a while, he is resolutely always there, within us, and the essential thing is that we try not to let life experiences disconnect us from him; our link to childhood and the times of our innocence etc. He's a source of greatest faith and hope, drawn from times when it was typically most abundant.

    I loved stanza 3. Although what I am about to say may not be the actual message you intend to portray here, for me personally this stanza perfectly spat some truth into the eyes of those who judge others. So often I tire of being judged on my past (not that I've had a dark history or anything!! lol) and not seen for who I've become; I know this is an issue for many other people too. I always feel contempt towards those who say a person can never change, because as you express in this stanza, we do change through time and trial; we do wear different guises, and thus I always believe in giving people the opportunity to prove they have changed (ie an ex partner or an ex friend) ... but not indefinitely without any confirmation or evidence of course. But it's there; the capacity for change if the heart is truly willing; although there is negative change as well, which the individual or we ourselves as the individual should be aware of and deal with.

    This was a great write!!!! I could've played with my ocean of thoughts for a long time, except for the sad fact I can't swim!!! And being 27 on the 18th of next month, I'm not sitting in the shallow end of the local swimming pools with a load of 6 year olds wearing adult-sized armbands to keep me floating
    I'll stick to the land ... and bottled water

    I hope this feedback gives you some food for thought. Have a banquet and treat yourself!!!!

    Best wishes
    Stuart
  • animepoetess
    March 29, 2006
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    Really interesting poem...great philosophy to live by as well...I have been on both sides of your philosophy, and I have seen/heard the different comments about my personality. Anyhow, it was a really excellent piece.

    --Animepoetess

  • haikumonk gold member
    March 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ah...... I love it!


  • Stuart Higginson
    March 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Mark

    Just printed this one off. Now "contest mania" is over I'm finally getting round to critiquing all those I've had patiently waiting in my "to read" folder, and your poem about childhood bygone is also getting the reading it deserves today Gradually my outstanding-reads pile is slimming!

    How are you? Well I hope, and enjoying spring

    Best wishes
    Stuart
  • Yvette Champ
    March 29, 2006
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    Dear Mark,I enjoyed reading this well written,poetic philosophical write.The sagacious spiritual content veritably radiates from the black and white medium of expression with rainbow hues for the soul.I echo the sentiments within this write wholeheartedly.Whatever our age it is but a number,a measure from one chronological point from our date of birth to the present time.However,we are many ages.We have a chronoligal age,an educational age, an emotional age and a spiritual age.Your experience with the guy who reacted in a way which initially provoked the temptation to react in kind is one that I have encountered many times.You are right.When we take the time to pursue the psyche/life experiences of such a persons reactions we may find causative factors which are inappropriately unleashed,ironically these very reactions do not free the person rather they entrap them.An eldery gentleman I had known for many years had a very gruff,dismissive almost bombastic character.His wife was the opposite and I was very fond of her.When she passed away I still visited the elderly chap and he would tell me of his childhood,he indeed was the same little boy that had been abused and never shown love or affection.I observed how caring he was towards his pet dog and knew that meant he had affection and kindness within but was unable to relate this to others.During our talks I discovered he had never been to a funfair and regreted that even though in his seventh decade the child was wistful.I couldn`t change his past but by spending time with him,allowing him to feel free to share that which he had never before shared,by voicing how I noted his devotion to his dog he began to slowly soften in character.The summer arrived bringing the funfair to town and I invited him to go with me.We had the greatest fun,I shall never forget how I heard him laugh and saw him smile as never before and we both became in tune with the children within us.He has passed away now but I often think of him and the lesson he taught me,which was it is never to late to show and invite caring.I wish you luck with the contest,this write is certainly a winner with me and a wonderful message for us all.Love and light,Yvette

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 28, 2006
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    Thanks, Marissa. I know what you mean. I try kindness first, too. But as the saying goes, "God only gives you two cheeks. He didn't say what to do after that." lol

    Looking forward to that story.

    Mark

  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    March 28, 2006
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    It is a very touching travel of the muse of the great mind of the poet as well.It is completely a thought of the matured mind stating the golden truths of the life with innocent way .The seriousness of the details of the content is very true and so universal too.The beauty of this work lies in its concept that is really very thought provoking too.The flow of this work is very impressive and just to the point too.I really appreciate this work..prabhu dayal khattar

  • Marissa Ann Scott
    March 28, 2006
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    My philosophy is basically, "try the genntle approach first... when that don't work, i open my mouth real loud and leave 'em all shell-shocked!"



    Your write was just... wow!

    Keep it up Mark. You made me evening with this. I do have another story to give u that happened today. But i'll tell it to ya tommorow.

    Love ya tons!

    Marissa.

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 28, 2006
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    Diamond Lou,

    Thanks for your thoughts on this. I hope your dad's health improves.

    Mark
  • Blue Tiger
    March 28, 2006
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    that was brilliant. it expresses a very heart-warming ideal, and there is great wisdom behind the words, i can tell. I wish you every luck in the contest...go for gold!

  • Mark Rickerby gold member
    March 28, 2006
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    heismysong,

    Ahh, the highest possible inspiration. Thank you!

    Mark

  • Glenda L Hand silver member
    March 28, 2006
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    Very nice write both about aging and about being kind to others in our lives. i really like this:
    So when they’re old and perhaps forgotten,
    Remembering years they left behind,
    Some word we said might return once more
    With the comfort that we were kind.

    This is a nice ending and a nice thing for us to remember.




    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  • heismysong
    March 28, 2006
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    Bravo! Bravissimo!!!

    You'll probably be happy to know that I DIDN'T immediately think of anything biblical in this piece, although I'm sure there is something biblical in there...

    But I did want to tell you that I liked this very much.

    It didn't make me smile as much as it made me want to go be kind to people.

    Bravo, sir!

  • Genuine Solitaire
    March 28, 2006
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    Awesome! I loved this poem, it portrayed beautiful emotion. You are an awesome writer, i wish you lots of luck in future poems!

  • NoWayJo
    March 28, 2006
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    your poem is the face of so many before, now and to come in the future, Mark, and every one of those faces has a story of the child within them to tell and relate if anyone would hear. Your poem expresses this so well...

    I know the better part of memory for me with my own Grandmother was to listen to her stories of a glass doll her father bought her the day she was born in 1904, her days on "South 15th Street" as a newlywed, then a mother of four daughters, the oldest being my own mother. I'm always so glad I had asked...They are stories even my own Mom didn't know.

    Jo
  • fireflyspark
    March 28, 2006
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    Awesome

    Wow, I was blown away by this poem. Your use of words is stunning and I can picture the poem as I read it. It really is an awesome poem.
    Edited on Mar 28, 6:22 p.m. because ''.

  • Glass Heart
    March 28, 2006
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    I really like this poem .nice write. keep writing. good luck in the contest.

    ~Apple~
  • deathbysuicide08
    March 28, 2006
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    wow...great job on the poem it was a intresting read for me...i see where you are coming from i just dont understan or agree i guess you could say about some things on this topic, but thats just personal opionion. outstanding job on the poem.

  • Mezeker Mylove List
    March 28, 2006
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    OH MY GOD!!!!!! This is good. i love love love love it. i love the flow but mostly i love the meaning behind it. My father..he is getting old and he is sick but i still see somthing in his eyes some mornings and this helps me to never give up and that means alot to me. i wonder how you thought of this poem. wow. Its so deep.

    Love Always
    Diamond
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