Like A Ritual

You wanna know why?

YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I'm possessive...
it's the best I can feel
But when I get close...
to anything, to trust, to contentment of ANY fucking kind...
I get proven there's just something cosmically wrong... with my story I guess
I'm possessive
I'm not enough
I'm possessive
I'm not enough

I'm possessive 'cuz I've NEVER BEEN ENOUGH!!!!!

Everything obsesses me...
so why do you leave it out in the open for me to see,
You're not a good liar... or you've not heard a thing I've said, or...
Or... I don't fucking know
I can't control you, and that's the only problem here...
but I swear I saw you doing something wrong,
and in the context they say you're wrong, but...
but then they say I'm just the crazy one
You rub it in my face and ask me not to let my mind kill you off -
but why do you leave things like that where I can see -
wait, Why did you do it in the first place?
...
I'm possessive
I'm not enough
I'm possessive
I'm not enough

I'm only possessive because I'm not enough
I never was, I never saw why I would be...
So how could I believe you...

I didn't want it before you, but you made me... you made me... something
You make it so I can't think
you make it so that it's just my fucked up little head
that lies when you write those things to her
after all she's done... After all I've done
After every contradictory thing you've said
...And you only do it enough to get away with excuses
...And I'm only weak enough to tighten my clamp of POSSESSION

                BECAUSE I'M NOT ENOUGH
                and you can't convince me I ever will be
                but you'll change my mind with every excuse that I hate
                         
I can't find the words, within my own fucking plague
the words that my mind would harvest when I had nothing to do but silence
Lack of emotion is too strong a muse...
but look what happens when I get close to something that...
well I'm told it exists anyway...
I don't know how I could ever believe my mind now
I don't know how I can believe you now... but I will...
'cuz I'm possessive
and I'm not enough anyway...
Why lose something that humors me... and pities me...
And hey, if I'm lucky maybe you're not lying to me
And if I don't give up I can just cradle my possession and every other tendency,
Act like I'm not the one who's weak... out of my mind... and not enough...

maybe I'm just too possessive...
Maybe it's all I am,
but I won't give it up, not after all that's been done
If it weren't for this I'd be as numb as I was
before I beat all the obstacles for the millionth time
Everything working against me won't win...
They won't win and they can't have you!

I have to be possessive since I'm not enough