Dances of knife blades
waltzes of glass
Carving me slowly
erasing my past
Singeing or charring
flesh aflame
It's one or the other
let the games begin
How deep can I go
how bloody am I
How burnt can I leave
the brand in my flesh
Pain saves pain
Scars are freedom
Elation comes with blade
or skin against flame
It's only a fix
temporary at best
I can't get enough
my pain never rests.
Author notes
Written March 23rd, 2006
- Cutters Noncutters and ExCutters group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Write about almost anything you want. by TheDevilInYourHead.
430 points, ended August 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Deep Dark Thoughts by FleetingImage.
330 points, ended August 11, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - x x For the Dark Emotions x x by Fallen Grace.
500 points, ended September 1, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I am pretty impressed. So, so few SI poems get my approval, but this one is good. It has a voice, it doesn't self pity too much, it has flow. The rhyme isn't intrusive, the words aren't too well-trod. A little punctuation would improve the meaning hugely and there's a part in the middle that could use a re-look (the brand in my flesh
Pain saves pain
Scars are freedom
Elation comes with blade
or skin against flame)
but other than that, job well done.
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Horrific but brilliant!
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Wow..
i can deff relate to this...
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hey this is mad good cept for a few forced rhymes but overall a good write!!!
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Really good
I love the thought behind it and there are a few parts that I can really relate to! There are a couple spelling mistakes but other than that it is really good! Love it
~Brit brit
plz comment back
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I was kind of hoping it never ended, but sadly it did. Great poem, I really like it. The beat was off in some places, but over all really good. Keep up the good work!
Great job and good luck in the contest!
~Kaela~ -
i loved reading this poem it flowed and had a nice use of words...good luck
~Wolf~ -
"How deep can I go
how bloody am I
How burnt can I leave
the brand in my flesh
Pain saves pain
Scars are freedom" I love those lines! This is a great poem. Keep up the good work!
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Kind of cliche but still very well done. It shows true emotion and hurt. Great job.
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Singeing or charring sorry I can't help it I noticed this and you should reslly fix it because you are the biggest grammar nazi I know. Anyway I love your work and I can't wait for you to write again, I haven't seen any new work from you in forever. Love you lots.
~~~~Jhonny~~~~ -
I adored it. The unique imagery, the obscure aura of the emotoin and words. Bravo!
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The beat is off in this poem. This is partly due to varying line lengths. I'm not saying they have to be uniform, or even have a pattern, but keep meter in mind. Scan a poem for strong and weak beats. That (and the tired dubject matter) are the main problems I see with this poem. Rewrite, use your good imagery as a basis and go from there.
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