I give you a kiss after your bedtime prayer,
Then run my fingers gently through your soft and curly hair.
Tuck you in, and shut off your lights,
As I close the door, I stop and think of the sights.
The sight of the sparkle in your eyes,
darker then the stars in a warm night sky.
The sight of your smiles,
I make sure to put somewhere on my files.
I wake up refreshed and feeling new,
Then go to greet the new day and you.
I walk out side and sit on the damp summer ground,
Then start to think of you and suddenly the world stops 'turnin 'round.
I look at all the flowers, bold and brite with their colors,
and start to think of new, happy, fun loving, lovers.
I smile as I hear you start to come,
You take my hand, as we start to head for home.
Love is like nature, bold, rich and new,
But it could never compare to me and you.
Alone we might be,
But together, we'll always be....
Author notes
I know it might not sound all there...and the twirks and kinks arent quiet all out..but I was going for more of a natural site. Enjoy Poemers!
Written February 14th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
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It does seem slightly forced, but the point is still well-expressed. Your visions and emotions are very well laid out for everyone to see, and all-in-all it makes for a very touching story. Awesome write..
-Jacob -
I do agree with Earlbecke, your rhymes seemed a bit forced...don't just throw words out there just to make it rhym..go with the flow, don't worry about they rhyming as much (as i have learned to do over the years)...but none the less this is a good poem, keep it up, you do have awesome potential!!!
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Rather good, especially for your age. However, I think that you could do much better. You have a lot of potential. Your rhymes seem a little forced, maybe you should try using words that don't rhyme perfectly or use less common words so that it seems more less like you're only trying to make things rhyme.
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