How far away does 12th grade feel?
Three years later and nothing is real.
Life is impending
Decisions descending
in gyring spirals straight down towards my head
If life's not "existing",
does this make me dead?
If life is excitement
If life is adventure
If life is possessing, expressing, caressing
If living is touching and getting touched back
If living is feeling the rage to attack
If living is passion
If living is anger
If living is loving
is meeting a stranger
and knowing a friend
and kissing a face
and having the faith
and the hope
to embrace someone
Trusting
and holding
supporting
connecting
Connecting.
Connecting?
Connecting!
is living
If all this is living
then what am I now?
what state am I in?
when does my life begin?
High school was something
a lifetime away
But my life’s not living
(I'm merely surviving)
if this isn't living
what am I today?
Just two more months until I'm abandoned
without any plans
just the phone calls of friends
and the grim frowns of family who promise support.
The losing of roommates with whom my rapport
will be gone
extinct
and lost to the winds
I mourn being alone
in the company of friends
And fear this new life will be lived out in scorn.
No state’s more frightening as when being born.
Author notes
I wrote this about two months before graduating early from college with no idea as to what I want to do in life. (I still have no idea what I wanna do, but I DO know that it WON'T involve being an office assistant. Worst! Job! Ever!) So please, leave a review! Especially about the rhyme scheme? Did it flow okay for you, or did it seem disjointed in parts? If so, which parts? The rhymes worked for me, but I wrote it, so I might subconciously know what words to emphasize and pause on. Thanks!
Written March 1st, 2005
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