So I'm drowning in a likeness of what I've become
The lies surround me then drop from my tongue
As the rain falls again from clouds so carefully spun
Finding it hard to erase what I've done
Can you save me from this blooming rose
The rain drops on the petal pose questions of things i will never quite know.
Why roses are red, why violets are blue, And if my breath is even true.
The ground holds all meaning, six feet and you perish, two feet to grow, and falling for glances, into the pool which you loved all so much
I'm graciously waiting your intimate touch.
But your liquor stained lips, and words in the air
Mean nothing when my soul is to empty to bare.
I'll just sit down and shut up, as I lean against the window sill watching the rain carres the glass, I wonder if the glass enjoys this salvation
The nails in this chair are coming so loose, Soon I will slip and fall to the dust on the floor, I'll be bruised and tragically cut up once more. Of course it wasn't you who did this, you love me. I love you.
That's what I tell them
I just fell, that's all. I swear through clenched teeth thees demons must leave me I can't conform to the guilt and the pleasure of being your slave, pretending it's better then not having any one to thrash my head into the wall, tell me I'm worthless, and watch as I fall.
Falling is always what I seem to do, just fall over and over I'm not over you.
Dragging myself to the edge of my being the stones scrape against my flesh as I desperately search for a way out. But there is no way out, no way to find my self, no way to figure this out.
I've been trapped in my mind, a prisoner of war. Fear stuck, confused, lying naked on the floor.
Dig nails in my eyes, and tear at my feet.
Cry tears over roses, because roses cant weep.
Roses are delicate, they fall and wither away.
A rose is my life where beauty can't stay.
They fall upon grave stones when your bury the dead
They say that they love you, and mess with your head.
You thrust me toward the wall, your angry again. I hit the vase and time seems to bend
Silence is penetrating this newly stained air as the vase slowly tips, roses like blood drip from it's lips, shattered the pieces of glass on the floor.
I realize what I have done, terrified for, the look in your eyes, you just stare right through. I try to run but you pull my back to the center of the room where you through me to the floor
Just like the roses I fall once more.
Author notes
So, i havn't actually experienced this, but yeah.
A contest entry
- Speak or Forever Hold Your Peace (prewrite now allow) by Musicqueen1012.
500 points, ended April 22, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life isn't everything, Death isn't nothing 1000+ point contest, LOTS OF OPTIONS!~Still open!!!~ by Soten-Jaganshi.
1100 points, ended September 7, 2007, 62 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Amazing!
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
: F
GloriousGift
Heba -
thank you for entering my contest.
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Bravo! I loved this, and I can so relate to domestic violence, I went through it with and ex, thank you so much for entering, and good luck in the contest!
All the best,
*Stephi* *rose -
"Just like the roses, I fall once more"
dear gods your wonderful!
i LOVE this so so so much.
thanks for entering my contest.
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Wow you had some really awesome lines in here. I loved the line about falling and not being over someone. I liked the beat of it, it was really good.
oh yeah, and thanks for entering! -
This was pretty rad. I liked the little bits of sensuality about it. It was classy, sexy, and depressing. I dig that! This is the way 'dark' stuff should be! Now then, you do need to spice up those grammar points that Verfallen made, and although I do not mind the format of this piece, she does. I'm going to put you on to the next round, but keep the grammar clean and the format crisp and you should be good to go!
Thanks for the entry! -
Thank you for entering my contest.
A bit wordy, and flow was a off.
But i liked it.
It was original, and with good imagery.
Right on theme.
Job well done.
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I didn't like how you flipped through structure. The way you flip-flopped between paragraphical form and poetic form. The punctuation was a little weird. Typically, one doesn't capitalize after a comma and usually "I" is always uppercase- being a proper noun and such.
The rhyme scheme was good in most parts- sometimes it felt forced.
Your wording is good. And the emotion portrayed in the piece is something everyone can relate to in one way or other.
Overall, good piece. We'll see what fishbone thinks. Thank you for your entry.
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wo0ow
I really like the poem itself. It had some off parts, but i really like the meaning of this and how it had some little quotes in between like..
Dig nails in my eyes, and tear at my feet.
Cry tears over roses, because roses cant weep.
Roses are delicate they fall, and wither away.
A rose is my life where beauty can't stay.
I think chosing this poem for first was a smart choice -
Full of depth and insight
I keep coming back to this write.
It strikes me.
I disagree with last commentator, I believe there is a source of pain for the words of this poem, not necessarily physical abuse but something, even if unconscious. Maybe just deep empathy.
I feel the depth of the place it is coming from, even if it is not my own.
In my own way can relate, pain and betrayal are all the same in the feelings that result, no matter the source.
Keep expressing yourself.
Look forward to more of your material.
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wow allthough you had no reall feeling in this poem i felt it i mean really felt it and it hurt bacause i can relate and surprisingly this poem made me cry a friggin river!!!!
Keep it up
\Kelsi
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