Dear Fool(that means you, and "You" is the you who knows who I'm talkin' to!),
I'm still here y'know,
your a loser y'know,
and I do hate you y'know!
I'm still beating around the bush y'know!
But you wouldn't know!
You haven't even been here!
Why the hell would you care about me being there!
All the times I have had to be bear these horrid things!
And you off pryin',
Pryin' your way into other peoples lives!
I'm still here y'know,
your a loser y'know,
and I do hate you y'know!
But hell no you can't know!
Who the hell would think you would know!
Hell if I know!
See 'cause I have had to be here y'know!
Y'know what I'm sayin'!
But no you don't know!
You can't know!
I'm the only one who can know!
So shut up and listen to me you idiot!
Your the one who did the leavin'!
You walked out on me man!
I never went behind your back and twisted the truth!
It's like you yanked my friggin' arm back!
So far back you broke it!
It aint fair man!
I'm still here y'know,
your a loser y'know,
and I do hate you y'know!
But no you wouldn't know,
and why the hell would you care!
See you popped up that day for a little while,
I handed you my heart and soul on a silver platter!
You ate it up then walked out again!
Y'know,
I am through with this!
See it aint fair!
Your the one who did all the leavin'!
I never left you,
not once!
Man forget this, I am out...
That means I'm through with "you".
Your ex-friend,
Tom.
Author notes
Written March 24th, 2006
A contest entry
- Get Angry. by sweetpearl.
300 points, ended April 29, 2006, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2007 - everything under 25 lines by leander.
1000 points, ended January 17, 2008, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Nemesis by Umi Juvariel.
600 points, ended February 13, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Good repetition, y'know? Lol, this was a fun read, and I enjoyed it. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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Well, this write definately reflects a lot of anger and sadness in some kind of way, though the latter is hidden quite well within.
I found e few little oopsies here and there but nothing really to worry about
Thanks for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
Frenzied feel which complements the anger quite nicely. Minor thing, in the repeated lines you have "your" when it should be "you're", no biggie though. I felt like it was more of lyrics than a poem, but often they are one in the same.
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you let your feelings be known: well done.
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Very explosive though uncoordinated. I think the thoughts were a little too random but still shows all the anger coming out at one time.
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I really enjoy this when I read it with an Eminem vibe to it. As a poem probably not as enjoyable, but as a song, wonderful!
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interesting......
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Any other comments? hehe..
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See, I'm only 13.. and I don't know, but it is something I wrote because it's just how I can imagine how it would feel.. well I shouldnt say that, cause when Avalon left it blew sooooooo bad...
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Hmmm this is different. But it gets the point across very clear and yes I felt your anger in every line of this piece. So much anger and pain wallowing in your words that I feel that the one who let you go was stupid. I have to say that I have been here myself and I know what your feelin and no it's very frustrating because you do everything for them and yet they walk away but remember its their loss not yours which means there is someone better out there for you. So keep your head high and let your emotion flow out in word form and not in physical form. Good write, keep writing, and good luck with the contest!!
Domberg
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thnks for entering and good luck
Scarlet
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cute. it was different.
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