I wish you knew,
How many times my heart beats because of you,
How much I yearn to be near you,
How I dream of you,
And think of you,
Everything I do is for you,
Every minute,
Of every day.
And how much I wish,
You could know everything,
But I don’t want you to feel,
The pain I feel,
Because you can’t feel for me,
The thousands thorns that prick my heart,
When I see you,
You wont speak to me.
I tried so hard to deceive my mind,
I can’t feel any more numb,
You’re the only reason I’m living,
But I’m living in hell,
Because I’m not near you always,
And never will be,
You’ll never know,
You’re just a figure of authority,
I would do anything to hear you call my name,
Anything for you to hold me close,
And I’ve done everything to make it go away,
This feeling,
So we can both be free,
I know it must be wrong,
But my mind is blank,
There is nowhere I can be happy,
When I’m not with you,
So I’ll run across hot coals,
Arteries saluting your smile,
And these scars will smile for you,
Because I can’t be without you,
But without you is reality,
So it’s not worth a single tear,
Not when I can’t shed one for you.
Author notes
Written March 24th, 2006
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This so sad and grabs at the heart a heart full of pain. There is so much that could be done here to make the entire poem stronger. But alas, I am here and you are there. If you were my student we would hace a sit-down rewrite. As an example: I would get rid of all those contractions. They seem to make your work sloppy. In your last stanza line 5 why not : For without is my reality. The for makes it stronger. WE could talk about this sometime if you had a free hour. As a side note: I have a hard time with writing and reading long poems. Take care a keep writing.
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for ali? this is a very emotive poem with a dark beauty to it almost. you've really captured how much they mean to you here. it is an amazing poem and i can see a lot of things in here that show you and show how you see her. well done luv will not leave long comment here will talk to you about it sometime (if you want) x x x
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