You've held my heart,
During this war.
You've been there after,
and before.
You've held the line
You've done it well
Now leave me alone
Go back to hell
You've ruined my life
With your hurtful words
I hate you so much
You mean, mean man.
Author notes
Written March 23rd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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i really enjoyed reading this poem its got good emotion behind it... yes the last line though is off a bit.. lol but its good i liked it
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fantastic work... maybe change the last line a bit. use a word other than mean. it just sounds a bit.... unsophisticated after the rest. good job, keep it up!
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This is great with great flow, the last line throws it off just a wee bit as all the other stanza's 2nd and 4th lines rhyme mayhap change that second line to rhyme with man, just a suggestion, otherwise this is really good, a bit sad, but goood, take care, Pennye
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