Eyes, of the prettiest blue
precious mirrors reflecting
what's inside the ocean of my heart.
Once so vibrant and full of life, now
stare back at me, devoid
of any spark.
Peer closer, you will see
insurmountable pain, pulsing
through those tiny crimson veins.
Deeper still a maelstrom of emotions
contain the reasons this forsaken one
remains filled with unbridled rancor.
Tentative, trembling fingers
stretch forth, trace the contours
of that delicate white flesh
blotched and swollen, evidence
of the great turmoil raging within.
Crystal clear, twin rivers of frustration
cascade silently down
those slightly aged cheeks,
unchecked they fall, forgotten
to dry on the cold porcelain below.
Seemingly endless images flash
with brilliant clarity
behind those lifeless eyes.
Intense, overwhelming heartache
portrayed in it's rawest form.
Anger..so much anger...
she's better than this
why does she stay
she deserves more
Shame...so ashamed...
She turns away from herself
a hopeless sob ripped from within
unable to bear that haunted image looking back at her.....
Part I
Author notes
Depression at it's ugliest...failed relationships, cheating, lies, insults, degrading comments...tears one's soul apart piece by piece...writing helps me heal...my way of escaping reality for even a brief moment in time..it is my release...
Written March 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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powerful...
This was so powerful...
I've been in this place before, and as I was reading it, your words took me back to that pain...you did the feelings justice.
so full of raw emotion, so powerful in every word. simply an amazing piece.
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very emotional piece..
very powerful and sad write. Felt like I was looking into the mirror with you..
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Nice, nice... but it's "Eyes" not "Eye's" Good idea behind it, but you might want to try to steer clear of cliches. Not enjoyable.
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Nice write, I liked the fact that pain, anger, sadness, were all shown, but not one in a cliche way, i think it was your word choice that made it so interesting.
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Very well written!
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EXcellent DEEP Poetry!!
Very nice work. I came to see how you wrote after seeing how the lady dogged you out for a comment you made. You're a very good writer. "BOO"
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Profound!! so raw and intense!!
Your word choices
are stunning and so vivid!
This is outstanding!
~Pastel
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yeahhhh!
love the tempestuous imagery running through this one
incredible verbs too, rage and flash and rip
i love heavy one-syllable verbs
great background, don't know if its stairs or a nautilus pattern, very fitting
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Amazing
Incredible imagery. There were a fw lines that I think explained too much:
"Intense, overwhelming heartache
portrayed in it's rawest form."
With all the other imagery used in this piece this just seemed so matter of fact. I would try to find another way to express this idea. Other than that a very good and emotional poem. Great work! -
Crystal clear, twin rivers of frustration
cascade silently down
those slightly aged cheeks<------ such a picture this is! Whew!
You've reeeeeeeeeally got some profound and intense descriptions of which...yes, I am familiar. It hurts.
Prayerfully, we will have a reason for all of it.
Pain tasted
need not be wasted,
use it
Good write. Really.
Only suggestion I have is to eliminate as many of
the punctuations as possible. Let this sad, but lovely
~ ~ ~ fly ~ ~ ~
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Chookers, judge not what you know not...don't assume everyone is the same, I am not here seeking help, I am here to share my writing nothing more..nothing less
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Great job, i really liked this. especially the 2nd and 3rd lines, and the second verse. But the whole thing was amazing.
Great write, keep up the awesome work.
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WOW!!
man I speechless, this is poetry in rawest form right here. The imagary really held it's on in this one. I love the metaphorical tone and the almost surreal like imagary you penned. Excellent work!
Much love
s/zero -
Sveet
I'm really sorry, I couldn't imagine going through that. I hope everything starts getting better. Great poem though, keep it up! -
No one deserves to be treated like that Love. I hope you are able to get out of the situation soon. I'm sorry that you were or are being subjected to the hostility of that coward. This was a very well written peice. The emotion is overwhelming.
Peace and blessings sweetie. -
brilliant work
you are so above this and please hold your head high. i understand, just hold on to this thought your too good.....cry if you need to allow yourself this release....when i read through this poem it brought a shiver down my spine.....the feel and flow and strenght of your words captured the emotions all too familiar .... imagery a little scary for me ....dont give up means they have won...you have the power and the powerful win.....get that attitude into high and dont give a damn what is aimed at you ...get that pen out and let your poetry do the talking.......am on your side.........
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