Crystal - bitter to touch
Beads of perspiration
Emit a dull thud, once then
Twice… pitter-patter.
Humid breath sending
A patch of glass opaque,
As a callus forefinger smears
A view into shapes, letters.
“I c-a-n” reveals the outside
As droplets reflect a light,
Blurry skies, and thoughts
Breath dissolving – distant.
Pace must be quickened
Aqua bells, rush the finger
Icy pane melting on touch
As one enduring blink writes
“S-E-E.”
Author notes
I hope this isn't too cliche for some people. I tried my best even though it is a well overused subject.
Written March 22nd, 2006
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1 - 5 of 5
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Well written, and very descriptive. I like it
Great poem! -
i think this is very good. nice and vivid. you don't present this in a way that is cliche at all, so congrats on that. wonderful job!
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Wonderful use of imagery and metaphors. I did not find it cliche at all. I love the idea of seeing life through frosted glass. I look forward to reading more by you. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you very much haunted-thoughts. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I still think it's cliche and always will but I'm hoping it will be liked because it's uplifting, and well nice.
Thank you for the applause too, it's very much appreciated! -
stunning!!!!!
Wow! I'm stunned. *is stunned* The imagery is so beautiful and everything about this poem just seems to be.. Perfect. I just love the way it all flows together, like pieces of a jigsaw slotting into place, and the metaphors - stunning. I think if I had to sum up this piece in one word it would be "stunning" lol.
And I don't think I've read a poem like this before, so for me it is not cliché, but unique and excellent.
And to mark poetry day or whatever it is, I give you an applause *claps hands*
xXx
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