next to the key to yours
and they cheerfully clashed
clinking and tinging
musically gouging small craters into the glass
but my heart didn't mind
it captured the light from the sun
to smile rainbows into dark corners
and remind me of your love
and the love i had for you
it chipped
when the teeth of your key
gnashed away shards of purple-red
fragments of pain
but it didn't break
it chipped
when you stole my happiness
and killed the person i knew myself to be
i tried any means
to destroy the symbol of us
but it didn't break
so i stopped trying
let the earth continue its orbit
and doctor time do his work
months later
my love for you fell forgotten
from an out-turned pocket
through frozen time
and shattered against tile
leaving jagged edges
sharp enough to cut glass
never again to be recognizable
as my heart
but it still captures the light from the sun
to smile rainbows into dark corners
Author notes
this is supposed to be a person poem for my creative writing class... my teacher told us to use an object to tell about the person, and i chose this heart pendent an ex-boyfriend gave me that i tried to smash when he dumped me, but it didn't break, until it just fell out of my pocket a while ago and shattered... and i eventually thought HEY what an awesome metaphor ITS PERFECT and wrote this... yeah i think i will stop talking not
YES NATE THIS IS ABOUT YOU
Written March 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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heeyy thanks!!!
i'm glad you all liked it
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that reminded me of personification of how the key to his heart broke the crystal, I liked it, it was really good, with great imagery, it was great that you kept your smile and didn't let the jerk break you, I hate to say this, but, you go girl!
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good
yes i think this was a good one good message..but thank you for the comment and i do think we need to focus on being happy in the world i know not everyday is great but one day it will be your last..and the days you were sad you should make up for those days ...gotta live your life your own way.. -
As I said before..this is amazing. I read it again..and you have some mistakes, but of course that's fine..I don't exactly know where they are at this point in time..becauseI am very forgetful, but you get what i'm saying.
Amazing job Aleicia...everything happens for a reason, and that heart was to show you what truly happened in your relationship with him. So it cannot happen again. -
Interesting metaphor you used in here... I like the different aspects of it that you used throughout this poem and showed it in several different ways. You haven't posted anything in a while, how come? Just had a long writer's block or what?
Well, I'm glad to read something from you again. I'm sorry for the pain that your ex-boyfriend caused you.... I hope you get/got a good great for this in your class! Really awesome work!
--Tim -
Aww, this is truly an amazing piece...great flow as well. I can relate to this so much...your opening stanza grabbed my attention..amazing imagery. Read something of mine?





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