Another gone, another been.
A heart is broken, gone unseen.
Desperation truly reigns,
Dismiss the crying, hate and pains.
Held so close to bleeding heart,
Yet with one word, is torn apart.
A deepest longing, deepest fear,
Thus, the sight does draw a tear.
A touch once cherished, felt no more
The lifeless corpse, upon the floor.
Author notes
Written March 22nd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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There is a whole lot of sadness captured within the lines of this poem here, but you managed to bring that with some vivid images! thank you for sharing this one and welcome to AllPoetry
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i have chills as i can see where you were coming from when you wrote this. death is not something i have dealt well with these past two years and i have written some very angry stuff about it. good write. viyanna r langager
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Not my cup of tea, but it seems very heartfelt. Good stuff.
Cheers,
Yossarian -
Wow...thankyou so much for the comment! It was just one of those poems that just flowed as I typed..I guess I really needed to let the emotion out..Thanks!
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Fantastic write
wow. I'm speechless. Beautiful imagery, it really catches the reader's attention and adds the sad feeling that you were going for with this. I could relate to most of those feelings, even if I haven't lost anyone. The rhymes flow very well, they don't look forced at all. Excellent word choice as well. I can't find anything wrong with it, it works perfectly on every level. -
I am so heartbroken that you have experienced this heartbreak at such a ripe age. Your maturity in your writing is that of an old man! You are truly talented with the pen my friend and Im very glad that you are able to release and express your emotions by writing...keep it up! I cant wait to see more from you
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Hmm..this is a pretty hard poem to interpret, but I wrote it about a friend of mine who I really loved...I would do everything for her...but her dad was very abusive and she had a lot of psychological stress because of him..then, one day, her mum called me up, and told me through tears that my friend had taken her life..i had to live with that, and my other friends had just as much of a hard time...life can suck..:'(
Edited on Mar 25 because 'spelling'. -
Wow, I am going along reading a poem about a lost love and suddenly there is a dead body on the floor. Wow unexpected. Good job though, interesting take on an overdone poem, makes it fresh and original.
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I'm sorry .. but still, you'd keep your friend alive through the remembrance of his loving memories. You're still very young yet you write well. Wish you well on your other writes!
Thanks for the comment on my poem btw.
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Well-written
Short and simple but the emotions are there. Well written, there are no spelling mistakes. Condolences to you.
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