You’re a weary hearted splendour
Who’s a thousand miles away
Your voice is liquid loneliness
I cling to words you say
A cloak of empty questions
Wraps my world in untold lies
A toxic blend of hate and love
A poisonous disguise
Be the doorway to my downfall
Dry my eyes and help me see
When I say my soul is broken
Be the one to disagree
I wish that things were different
In my rising fears I’ll drown
And although you’ve never met me
I don’t want to let you down
The sun gives way to shadow
In the dark you’ll hear me scream
And I’ll beg for your forgiveness
Though you’re nothing but a dream
Author notes
Another piece that was written very quickly - a time when I simply grabbed inspiration and ran with it. This was the result.
Written March 22nd, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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Awesome
awesome, again your imagery is great and well.......i dunno i really loved this, i think youve got great talent
keep up the great work hun
luv Chris -
Beautiful piece! i read it a few times to take it all in. I dont know exactly what to say this is so good. As usual the meter is perfect. The message is definitely really interesting. The picture you painted is really complex. I liked the line "You’re a weary hearted splendour" the best. I dont know why exactly, but the words really grabbed my attention. Excellent piece.
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Be the doorway to my downfall
Dry my eyes and help me see
When I say my soul is broken
Be the one to disagree
great work
it was a brilliant poem -
You know what? I love it when you grab inspiration and run with it.
~The Canary -
This is a brilliant poem! You've done a great job! Great use of imagery and words... Well done
Take care...
~Ash~ -
Be the doorway to my downfall
Dry my eyes and help me see
When I say my soul is broken
Be the one to disagree
You say that you would like the person to be the doorway to your downfall - is this in a positive sense? But I don't see downfalls as positive.. or is this defeat in a good sense?
You think your soul is broken, and you want the other person to contradict you - or at least bring you up - which gives me the idea that this other person would be some kind of light in your darkness but it's just the person is miles away - he/she would not know how deep your sorrow currently is. I don't know if I've interpreted this correctly, correct me if I am wrong. Two months ago, I met a guy who was in deep sorrow and wanted to die, and thank God, because of the friendship we currently share, his thoughts are not in dying anymore.
It's funny coz I've been reading poems today about dreams.. at least you have that dream to hold on to.
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awesome
This was a very good poem. I liked it alot. I think that you are good at writing, and you should never quit. You expressed your feelings so well, in a way that I'm sure many can realte to.
MisJudged -
Wow, the words are still dancing around my soul. Carefully and cleverly scripted imagery and emotion that leaves the mind pondering it's own validity and the heart desperately seeking the same fulfillment of your subjects desire.
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This is SPLENDID. It's deep and reminds me a lot of some dreams I've had. I especially liked:
"A cloak of empty questions
Wraps my world in untold lies
A toxic blend of hate and love
A poisonous disguise"
Which actually reminds me of a relationship I once had. Hate and love... Not a good mixture. But when the hate is hidden and the love is visible it can cause problems. Such is life.
This poem paints a interesting picture in one's mind. Good write. Keep up the good work! -
good job , nice little scheme going on ,very dream like.
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Nice. Very nice. Mind boggling at the same time. In the beginning it seems almost mundane compared to what it turns out to be. I love it. In fact I wish it was mine.
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Bravo!
This is a wonderfully written poem!!!
Your words painted a dreamy world full of mystery and delight!!!
Keep it up! I enjoyed this so much!!!
~matt~ -
when reading this i gasped wiht melodies you'rea great poet
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Gasp! This is a MIGHTY FINE POEM! I have been reading the featured poems and switched over to the poems that are appearing, and yours was at the top and is also at the top of my favorites this evening! No kidding..this is super good. Listen, I run a poetry blog out in California and well...would you let me post this on my blog tomorrow? You can find it at thereporter.com and then look for "Poetry Planet." I would, of course, put your name on the poem, either your real name, or your crimsonfury name.
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