I'm not afraid of the souls I see,
crowding around me,
Reaching in death for the life they never had
I'm afraid of the sounds of my soul decaying,
and hanging off the walls
that grow taller before me
Influenced by the stench falling from the rafters
Everything greying and shriveling to ash
Forced to be a warrior
On grounds that are tired of the war
Swallowing me in desperate pacification,
for my insurgence is the last remnant of any life here
That's why they crawl to me,
those souls
Like a magnet to their fading energy -
And this place is doing the same to me
Numbing, Emotion... and self crumble
like the skin of a corpse
Whose last attempt is to leave its oppressive shell
And hungry worms that breed regression
That's what this house is - it's definitely a coffin for souls
Without a befitting procession
Built on laws that define nothing,
and tendencies that shatter all space, time, spirit, and potential
I wonder about the man that built this house -
with hooks made for children
And pipes that corrode exactly when life does
Simple objects know more than they should
But no one cared about the hooks and cracked foundation
You can sell despair to anyone
If the right pathologies knock at the unhinged door
A salesman always smiles
Just like the families that stink of this very air -
Foul and far too content
Rich sentiment is stomped out
at the first sign of passion
And genuine need slowly replaced with... craters,
of denial and loathing
The ugly surface shows all too well,
it's just not spoken of
Secrets we can no longer keep,
Silence that rips at my existence
... And fear -
O, how the fear is just consuming
and crushing... and...
words are all I have
to combat the stale time of now
And the sense, of... slipping
exaggerated
Blown out of rightful proportion like a psychological gun to my head,
Knife at my feet -
and the very fabric of time in my teeth
But it's now only shredded like me,
So I'm still told... to wait.
And feel, endure this Isfet
Author notes
hmmm... it's hard for me to really ever deviate much from darker pieces, but lately my pieces have gotten moreso philosophical and even hopeful throughout the darkness, but this is probably the darkest piece I've written in at least a few months... it's just yet another one about growing up the way i have... which for the most part i wouldn't change because it made me who i am now, but at this point i just shouldn't be in this hellhole of a house anymore.
by the way... as for the word that ends the song. i don't believe in good and evil, but i do believe that there are a few select things that come close to what others might call "evil"... luckily that's basically what Isfet means. It's not necessarily "evil" but it's the closest thing in Ancient Egyptian theology to what other religions would equate as "evil". it's a principle of what is roughly translated to "unbeing" or "uncreation". it's a force that tries to destroy all existence, especially Ma'at, the force that holds truth and justice together in the universe.
the Ancient Egyptians (and us modern Kemetics) believe(d) that because of the balance inherent in Ma'at, some pain/negativity/etc. is necessary to hold together, help bring about, and illuminate happiness/positivity/etc, so they didn't use "Isfet" as much as modern religions would use "evil" because they saw Isfet as the pain/negativity/etc that was unnecessary in upholding Ma'at and which only caused more despair and tried to tear things down to the point of not being able to be salvaged.
Written March 21st, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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thanks
glad i could come up with something to get the reader thinking
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Wow..this was powerful. I do love a poem that keeps me thinking even after Ive read it. Great job.
Despair
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thank you for such a wonderful comment.
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This is a really good peice. You are also very intelligent and a very good writer. This peice flows very well together and I like it because I can relate due to my past experences in life.(Excuse my spelling) Great write though and keep up the good work.
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