My eyes are lost inside the portrait she painted
in shades of grey and framed in black.
The fear that's hidden behind this dark glass,
of shattered dreams and shameful acts.
This emotional storm that was born of neglect,
covered by deceit and distorted facts.
The un-healed wounds of broken abuse
that follows behind and stalks her tracks.
The deep sorrow that she's closed behind these eyes,
yet I have pierced her, seeping through these tainted cracks.
That are invisible to the shadows sight,
but are opened by a gentle touch, and honest acts.
I linger like the wind,
searching and determined to find,
the colours that were betrayed by lies.
Through the air I still silently stare,
and so be lost in her eyes.
Past the darkness and doubtful thoughts,
down the lonely and fading roads.
Confused by shame has forgotten her name,
abandoned there stands a child alone.
She holds a candle of trust that can only be lit by love,
as I reach out to give her my hand.
Reluctantly she gives hers up, as she shakes off the dust,
and memories that are as grains of sand.
She rests in my arms as drying tears
fade within her weathered skin.
We light this candle to guide our path,
inside our hearts to never dim.
i linger like the wind,
breathing over the candle to wave the shadows from the light.
Through the air I still silently stare,
and so be lost in her eyes.
Author notes
#1 - Being a protecter
A contest entry
- Runaway Love. by Ambivalence ..
900 points, ended March 18, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contemplate by Deceits Tears.
800 points, ended March 21, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Choices by Beating.
450 points, ended March 30, 2007, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 116th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended December 24, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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Congrats on the bronze and two honorable mention trophies... this was absolutely gorgeous. The tender emotions poured into this really made it so romantic and sweet. Thanks so much for entering and good luck.
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Beautiful. You have read the rules (Thank you!) tHIS IS TRULY A PIECE OF ARTWORK!
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beautiful
so poetic! -
Imaginitive
I love how vividly this poem paints a picture, so to speak. Good luck, and I loved it. -
this is a great write, thankyou for your entry, good luck
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I really like this poem
Mainly because there a lot of emotion in it
Very well written
good luck =] -
I truly enjoyed this poem. You have a beautiful way with words and don't force your rhythm. I really appreciate that in a poet.
I can see where you could interpret this as a poem about a runaway, even if not through yourself. But - I feel little personal connection, though this poem did have emotional appeal. I'll read it over again once I'm done looking through all the entries in the judging process.
Thank you for entering, and keep writing. -
First, let me thank you for entering my contest.
Second:
This poem was very touching. Great use of vocabulary. The flow and imagery was very well done. I suggest the use of maybe inserting more spaces (maybe making stanzas), so as not to OVERHELM the reader.
Otherwise, this was good. -
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thanks and i think your right,, i had a look at that,,
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Great poem. I really like the use of details and imagery to make your point. You express yourself very well. Very sad poem, but I like your message of hope. Keep up the great work. Thank you for sharing this write with all of us. Good luck in the contest. ttyl Tali
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Great imagry throughout this poem... this was very well expressed with a great figures of speech... very well done.. keep writing
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Wonderfully done
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I absolutely love this poem....it made me tear up a lil....the lil girl reminds me of myself, and the candle....I really knwo how she feels....I really like this...
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You know when you read a poem that is Dark you know somewhere somehow it has a touch of real life within in it.
This is no exception, Im not sure who won this contest because it was not posted, But it would have been a winner to me
Thanks for sharing..
Blessings
Tears -
very good
I really enjoyed this darker side to love, not something I usually go for but it is so well written it just pulled me in from the first line. Thanks for sharing
Have a great day
Babymonkeygirl -
wonderful job, very well written, quite enjoyed it, however I did find myself starting to lose interest closer to the end...not sure if that's more due to the length than the writing itself tho...either way, wonderful work.
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Wow. A really great poem. Beautifully written, and the perfect choice of words. I loved it.
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this is a grat poem is has some of the most amazing imagery.. im not really into the whole love thing that much although sometimes my girlfriend will inspire me to write something but this was love in a dark sort of way so you managed to keep me interested.. you have amazing writing skills.. very well done.. =) ~toni~
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You have a wonderful way with words. Good rhyming, not forced. Great, memorable lines. I like it. The style was original and I like original.
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Shocking! Really ... and the story it tells! Continue on, because I'll read on!
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great work
It reminds me of the movie.."Origional Sin"...where a man loved a woman somuch that he to incredible deceit an abuse over and over again...and in the end was willing to die...I have been here myself...and your poem follows this emotional twister..with such reality...so I reach my hand out to you... -
Goodness! This made me cry, and that's not easy to do. You did, and thank you for that because I feel better, somehow, but not really sure why. I love this write as it is not one tiny bit judgemental of the person you speak of, and it shows the suffering endured, the torment, and yet there is a person who cares! Thank you! Keep caring and keep sharing! There are so many people out there to reach and to help them know that we understand, even if they don't, and we'll also learn if we might be or become one of them. Life holds no promises or guarantees and it changes like the weather in the Texas Panhandle. But compassion and understanding does not change, and you've shown this. You are a good person and we tend to see the most in what writers have written.--Kel
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Sweet said . . . beautiful . . . well written! You made this piece your own . . . wonderful write! Keep penning . . . and please . . . promise to keep sharing!
Maggie -
This a good poem, but not my sort of topic (love). I really liked the first stanza, but the second one was more "beauty" and "love" filled, so I got a little bored. Aside from that, good work.
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Really nice piece, Prime X. I love the lines "linger like the wind." Really neat metaphor. Strong piece this one. Great write!
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I caught a glimmer of hope in there, I pray that that is true. Great job!
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this is so amazing and breath-taking. it's so beautifully written and has such a lovely flow. amazing job, keep up the good work. <3
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Whoa. I could almost see it happening, and can feel the love. Great work.
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The eyes have to be the most attractive feature of any human body. They can tel you so much - if only you know how to read them.
Amazing imagery, impressive rhyme-scheme.
You're one of the few people I seriously want to:
Keep Penning,
=> Jess Black. -
Wonderfully written, creative, and focussed. I too am drawn to peoples eyes. They are the windows to the soul. It is very easy to get drawn in and lost in them. I can relate to this piece.
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awesome!!!
OH MY GOSH!!...this is so awesome.
You did a wonderful job with this write...I really like this!!!!
debbie
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no words can say
Man Phil....you blow me away everytime. If you don't win this the contest holder needs kicked... This is by far my fave poem I've read from you so far. The rhyme scheme was nice...it's nice to throw in the rhyming word ever 3 or 4 sentences or so...and it's hard to keep up the rhyme with just that one particular sound....so cool job on that. Another thing--the imagery was astounding...I would cite the examples but the whole poem was riddled with it. Idk what more I can say except fantastic job. I hope to be as talented as you are someday.
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that was an amazingpiece
very well written thanks foe entering the contest
Dr♠goness -
what can i say? breathtakingly beautiful ..
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primex....this is another of your awesome writes...Beautifully written with your usual style and flaor ....Lynda
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