Lifting my foot,
Chewing gum turns into
Enticing stringy elastic,
Pulling my shoe to the pavement.
And presumably my traffic lights
Are forced to spend eternity
On red…
Now, blinking irrationally,
I feel the ice cream grasp
My sensitive teeth,
While I try to correct my
Chipped nail polish with a
Black permanent marker…
Just as the black widow
Consumes time and life,
Oppressing pride, inch
By second, by heart beat.
Doused palms echo – clap
I broke the bond, to send
Roses to my cheeks
And an unfortunate spring
To my step…
Author notes
I have no idea where this came from...
Please leave comments and let me know what you think.
Got here via featured? PLEASE COMMENT, it costs me points!
Written June 9th, 2006
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1 - 13 of 13
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actually, that helps clarify it a lot. you should leave it. it's open for interpretation, and there are many different ways to see it. i like it that way. thanks for responding.
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Hey thanks for reading.
The last stanza is just about the chewing gum loosing its stick or me picking myself up after the incident. The clapping is simply a symbol of success and the rose in my cheeks is down to embarrassment and exhaustion. Then the unfortunate spring can be anything from trying to avoid doing the same again, trying to walk with a sticky shoe or trying gain back pride by looking "tall" if you know what I mean.
I hope that helped clear up what that stanza was supposed to mean. I’m not sure what I can do to make it clearer, so I’m going to have to leave it as it is and hope everyone else understands to some extent.
Take care,
SilverScent -
i was pretty hooked from the first stanza. i think you present some very clear images here, representative of what we all experience. you've taken those little things and given more weight to them in this piece. and i like how you can take it at face value and it works. or, you can read deeper meanings into your words, and it works well that way, too. the only confusion i had came in that last stanza. i guess i'm just not quite sure exactly what is taking place there or what that is supposed to represent. but, overall, i enjoyed this a great deal. i'm going to read it again now. great job!
by the way, thanks for commenting on my poem "Every Day With You." I appreciate it! -
Well written piece that you have here . . . it's an interesting take on themes . . . and you use a great amount of imagery and detail! Well done! Keep penning . . . keep sharing . . . and keep being unique!
Maggie -
You say you don't know where this came from--well it certainly came together well! and I understand it perfectly, i'd say it's the same sort of feeling you get if your shoe heel gets stuck in the pavement, or you trip---we always seem to put a sprint in our step to cover the embarrassment lol. well done I like this!
Shaz xx
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I don't know if that was a joke, sarcasm, or you genuinely got that from my poem, but that was NOT what I intended it to be about. Your interpretation scares me quite frankly. Nevertheless, thanks for reading.
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There are some nice ideas here. I liked the first verse a lot. It seems to get a bit lost though - the London Bridge verse is kind of weird and doesn't really work for me. If you just took that out, it would be a lot better. Good work though. Really pinpoints some of those things that are so very, very annoying. Well done. Bench
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let me get this straight... you were careless enough to the get the clap, so now you write poems about how you still continue to lead a normal life? sounds great, except for the dripping ghonnerrea beneath your undergarments.
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Nice rant with some vey good imagery. A courageous write i think, bold and honest and real. Thanks for the thoughts and words.
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Thanks...the part about nail polish and permanent marker was just supposed to be about trying to cover up embarrasement. Also, trying to permenantly repair, no matter how obvious it may be, the pride that has been chipped...hopefully thats a bit clearer. If not never mind I'm glad you liked the rest of the poem.
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I really liked this poem because it just emphasizes the frusterating parts of "one of those days" and we have all had one of those days. Great imagery, really appealed to all the senses.
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Great Write
Very good such great use of metaphors and such. But if I understand correctly in the end...
And an unfortunate spring
To my step… this is about the gum releasing its grip on your shoe is it not, if so in my opinion it may be a little drawn out to this point...the part about nail polish and a permanent marker dosen't seem to fit in with the rest but its your poem and how ever you see it, is all that matters.Anyways the rest was magnificient like a short story about a conflict with gum that everyone experiencs. -
Oh wow, that's very cool. Did you ever get the gum off your shoe?
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