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Social Suicide

Here she is, hiding from her social suicide.
Whether she should die, she cannot decide.
Shes crying in her bathroom stall.
What they said, she can never recall.

In there eyes she's just a freak.
To her, her future seems bleak.
Her soul has shattered,
The pieces now scattered.

What do they really care?
Talking to her, that's something they wouldn't dare.
The scars on her arms,
they never set up alarms.

Her pain shows more and more each day.
Can't someone end it some way?
He said that he loved her,
But now its over.

These pages wreak of dried up blood.
right now shes lying in the mud.
Her death is something she cannot decide.
In this her social suicide.

Author notes

Okay, this isnt that great to me, But i'd like you to comment it anyway.
Be truthful I don't care for lies
Written March 19th, 2006

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • The Black Raven
    March 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    same

    are u wrinting about me?


  • FlirtingWithSuicide
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow I love this and I can totally relate to the shes love him part and I have wanted to end my life more often then I should and I did cut but ya I love this poem good job!

  • likeforeignpost
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the ending, it was really powerful. good job.

  • Blue32
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THIS IDEA,LEADS TO FREEDOME,BUT ONLY A SHORT TIME.


  • Murdered-In-Ink
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well as you know me. I very truthfull when I write these just so you know.

    I truly enjoyed this poem. I loved every word. It does need alittle bit of work. Just some. Its great how it is now. It is really sad and thats what I love about it. I know how this is as you can tell from my writting. I love the words you choose to rhyme with. It really was the glue in this peice that kept the rest of the peom together. It was as very good write and my favorite lins from here are...

    'Shes crying in her bathroom stall.
    What they said, she can never recall.'

    Very lovely my dear. I look forward to reading more by you.

    ~Ivy Queen~


  • Hamsandwich
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The story this tells is all too real for too many people. Its good that its down in words and not just actions.
    On a more litteral basis: i enjoyed the theme amd the rythem. I also fealt the ryme was wonderful and at the end the way you tied it up to the beginning was great.
    Great job.

    -K


  • Psycho Dancer ---
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    very good x

    i like this - this is dark and quite deep, i like the emotion, i can really relate to this

    take care

    xxx


  • March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    amazing!

    This is awesome! Sounds so real...I know people who it could fit with...it's scary but amazing keep it up!


  • magickkitty16
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow...this sounds so much like someone i know, its kinda scary. but it was a really deep poem, and sad, but i really liked it! good piece! keep writing!

1 - 9 of 9