An innocent victim under the hands
Of an abusive, perverted child beating man
And a woman who couldn't care less
These are her parents who caused this mess
A young girl so sweet and innocent just quickly died
All because of her crazy parents and not suicide
My cousin, so sweet and never did any harm
Was killed by her own parents which cause me alarm
All I could do was cry my dark heart out
As I rushed up to the crime scene having doubts
If only she would have told me he was doing damage
I wanted her to be able to live with him and manage
Finally I saw her bloody body shattered on the concrete
I stood and watched the scene from the street
Police and investigators searched the crime scene
Of my cousin who was killed by her parents at fifteen
They seemed to keep her happy, which made us adore them more
But that was a stunt until they got behind closed doors
We thought they were the best parents and husband and wife
Not anymore, ever since they took their own daughters life
How could they push her off the balcony of a building
I wish they could rot in hell and of her death I'm still healing
Her mother usually just watched what he was doing to their daughter
Or either slapping her or telling her to obey her father
All the time I wonder why she never would tell
but she was scared of her life being under more hell
How I never knew her mom and dad were not sweet as honey
Her mom was just there to use her dad for the money
Now us, her loved ones see her body
Cut up, bloody and laying there without the slightest sound
Everyday and night I have flashbacks of her face smashed into the ground
Before she hit the ground she was screaming wishing someone heard her
But it was too late it was already... Bloody Murder
Author notes
Written March 18th, 2006
A contest entry
- Your Darkest, Scariest writes by vampireblood.
300 points, ended April 8, 2006, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Not much can be said about a great poem once that's has already been establish no reason to say good work to a great piece of writing
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Excellent
This was a very powerful poem. And your background and text color really add to is darkness and emotion. Together it makes for a very masterful combination. Very well done! -
Thank you for the comment!
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that was insane!! I loved it, you are so good at describing emotion but kind of hiding it under the words. Great job. I really loved this piece. it's by far one of my favorites I've ever read as for a dark love poem. ~Holly
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I wish that there was something we could do to these kind of people, but the bible says that we are not to judge and that God will see that they get what they deserve. Hell seems to nice to me for things like this. Maybe there is a deaper hell for some. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you know I love you. That may not be much, but I give it to you freely and with all my heart! the Shaker
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Thank you!
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Have fun at your party!
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whoa spine chilling.... i really liked this alot...it had great imagery...and awesome flow and rhythm...I mean i could see everything happening before my eyes...and those are the best kinds of poems....great job...Thanks for entering ...and best of luck to you in my contest
~~~Vampireblood~~~ -
Great work!! I would put more time into this critique but I'm just stooping in for A minute... Got A bachelor party goin on
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No offense but the text is perfectly fine I and alot of more people can see it clearly! Nextly, I was fixing the typos and caught onto those! Anyways thanks for the comment!
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Firstly the text can't be read unless it's highlighted, not a problem to me but maybe to others who don't know how to highlight. Line 3 needs "'nt" adding to "could", just a little typo I think. I have a word change suggestion for Line 8, "made" to "caused". Also, Line 25 has a typo, "the" to "they". Overall, this is a very good piece but I feel it would be better improved with full punctuation. I enjoyed reading this and it was very well written. A little revision here and there will make it into a masterpiece. Thanks for sharing. La x
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SO HEART-BREAKING
This is indeed a sad and heart-breaking poem. I sure hope that it is not true.
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Thank you for the comment!
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loved it, great, good, yay, ok get my point .
I have no words to describe what I am thinking or what I am feeling, mabye I am to mad to express my self or mabye I am to sad to even try, like I said I can't find the words, this was a very good write, however tis truely aful to have seen this first hand, you had me drawn in with the first few words, -hugs- -
Thank you for the comment
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How could the push her off the balcony of a building
Cut up, bloody and laying there without the slightest sound
Everyday and night I have flashbacks of her face smashed into the ground
hey these following parts really are sad and very emotional for one person to have to go through. omg this was horrible, what is this world coming to? you did well with your words on this, keep up the awesome poetry.
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