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Walking by the sea shore I saw storm clouds, approaching in a rush,
and moments before arriving overhead, there occurred an eerie hush.
I reached safe shelter of some she-oaks, to lessen the coming force,
a deluge of steady rain began pelting, in the normal matter of course.
Lightning was crashing all around me and the rain was cool and sweet,
as puddles quickly formed on the ground, gently caressing my naked feet.
Then the wind started whispering, in the bending she-oaks overhead,
‘I am sending you a beautiful picture to paint,’ was all it serenely said.
The wind grew stronger and the she-oaks, submitted without complaint,
as I pondered the words Wind whispered and what it was I had to paint.
I gazed around about me quite startled, my feelings were now unsure,
the clouds were departing and the waves, breaking white upon the shore.
The she-oaks reduced their soothing whisper, as the wind began to fall,
and rain ceased from the heavens falling, from the now departed squall.
Then I saw the beautiful picture form around me, bathed in brilliant light,
the dark black clouds framed the sun, what a beautiful and glorious sight.
Sparkling blue water with freely foaming waves, were dancing on the shore,
I realised this was a picture sent by God, and my emotions began to soar.
And then I knew what the Wind had told me, under those moaning trees,
I knelt in prayer to give my thanks to God, by the shore upon my knees.
.
Author notes
This poem came to me several years ago walking along the shore at sunrise near where I lived and this is the first time I have put it to paper. The photo was taken that day and as of yet I have not painted it, but at least shared it with you this way.
Metaphor; We should look around us to see the beauty God created for us.
In a list
A contest entry
- MAKE EARTH BEAUTIFUL!!! by LadyLavender.
800 points, ended March 25, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Que the Senses by Honesty Abounds.
400 points, ended July 5, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Colour of the Wind by SeaWithYourHeart.
600 points, ended July 31, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #9 OPTIONS CONTEST (: by Walk-Free.
630 points, ended April 4, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want some points? Philosophy, God, whatever you want... by magneticblue.
1400 points, ended July 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 57 of 57
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What a lovely picture, and the connection to God and what he generously shares with us makes it even more stunning. Thank you for sharing both the picture and this poem, good luck in the contest.
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Oh my (:
Simple, yet so beautiful.
I loved the imagery & the metaphor you had used in this poem
It's true that sometimes we get so busy that we just completely forget the little things God has blessed us with.
You have a gift of expressing this gratitude into words..
Great entry. Best of luck (:
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Loads of imagery and some good rhymes here.Well done
Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
Katie -
Ahh but you have painted that picture, though not with canvas or brush but with your wonderful words. I really like the story here, it flows well and the rhymes are top notch. Good luck and take care x
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well i have just read your authors nots and you claim you have not yet painted it? shock horror. I will argue with you I think you have. not in paint but in words. so yes you have dude and you have done excellently well.
This poem is mazing just read it again and you have made music. but i could scream at you on line 17 im being piky because it is that good. your rythmn is a little off and i stumbled too many syllables. on "what a beautiful and glorious sight."
but everything else th rest of the rhyme is spot on the timineing is great the length is long but you kept me engaged and thats very hard to do
I got this weird pang of unhappiness when i read the endng. either becasue it did not give the greatest impact i had hoped for but thing is you could not have done any better. my suggestion is that you do not need to repeat the Lords name again at the end think of some way to glorify his work by taking about his work if you see what i mean i think you can have a great ending here. I love the part when you say "by the shore upon my knees." That gave me the impact i looked for
the beauty godcreated made you fall to your kness action speaks louder than words sometimes and i got chills at the finale
"Walking by the sea shore I saw storm clouds, approaching in a rush,
and moments before arriving overhead, there occurred an eerie hush."
This for me is the best beginning ever it kapty me close to the poem eyes fixed on the letters like glue. I love the alliteration of s in the first part and the rush emphasises everything it is really good.
another great set of lines.
"I gazed around about me quite startled, my feelings were now unsure,
the clouds were departing and the waves, breaking white upon the shore."
becasuse you keep bringing it back to the topic the sea the shore the sand the beach breaking on the tide love the image breaking white upon the shore
for me the paint is there a broken pot of white spills from the sea becasue of the wind and rain.
you watched the masterpiece god has painted for you. and you have done really well to retain the glory for so long in your mid and then wow your audience with the beauty that has never dwindled.
great poem love rhyme love the format and especially love the words!!!!
good luck in my contest. -
You have paint it dear poet, with your picture and your words, for this is truly a picture worthy of heaven down here on earth.
Thank you for sharing this, as I feel that squall in my life right now, and not sure where I want it to lead, for right now my own thoughts are not safe for me.
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Elegant
Wow! I sure felt every opulent scene in what you have scribed. I absolutely would love to escape into your painting as this led my imagination parched for much more...Guidelines met...I want to thank you for entering my contest and for sharing such a personal moment in this classy poem...
^j^Honesty Abounds -
the imagery you gave the readers gives a since of peace in the end, not to mention beauty. as another poet said, you bring the reader into the storm with you and take them out with serene beauty. good luck in this contest.
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Thank you for your contest submission, we do need to ask you review the rules and edit your submission appropriately. Please reply IN COMMENTS to us and let us know this has been done, thank you.
we will allow until May 29th for edits.
A very nice idea here, with nature giving inspiration for the beauty held within.
Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e 
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You bring the reader into the storm, make us see, feel, become entranced by the scene. Enjoyed this picture you painted with your words.
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very good...good luck in the contest my dear poet.
-cunningtrickster- -
Beautiful.
You should have won a gold but this is an incredible beautiful poem. You did indeed paint a beautiful picture here. I really enjoy reading your works. -
Sparkling!
Sparkling blue water with freely foaming waves, were dancing on the shore,
I realised this was a picture sent by God, and my emotions began to soar"
A very beautiful write!
Good luck and thank you for entering!
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Walking by the sea shore I saw storm clouds, approaching in a rush,
And moments before arriving overhead, there occurred an eerie hush.
**
I reached safe shelter of some she-oaks, to lessen the coming force,
A deluge of steady rain began pelting, in the normal matter of course.
wow.amazing bravo begining always and the rhyme with such beautiful words..wow...I love this
great poem...
Welcome to my finals list
Good Luck in the Contest
Best Of Wishes
dragontuba -
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Beauty.
I am glad you enjoyed it and they were a few moments etched into my mind one day. Beauty is all around us but we have to have our eyes open to see them for too often we are submersed in problems and other things to look. If you can see all the beauty around you, you will see a lot less problems .....
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Brilliant
Bazza, what a lovely poem you have penned. So much imagery, good rhythm and the flow is good. I can see the waves now as I am typing this. I used to live on Lake Erie and there were times when the waves would white cap and be choppy. I just love trees also. I think the last two lines are the most beautiful. This would be a good poem to put to your painting when it is done. I have several paintings with poems on them. These make nice gifts. Another idea is to buy nice paper 8 1/2 x 11 with nice designs on it. Type your poem on it and frame it. I have done this many times and give them as gifts. I wanted to start a business, but my health won't let me, so I do what I can. Well I didn't mean to bend your ear. Congrats. on winning the Gold. -
Shaz,thank you for your wonderful comments and applause. You have a knack of writing wonderful praise and encouragement sometimes as good as the poem you are commenting on !! Thanks a million and I am sure glad you enjoyed it.
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Bazza this is a pure work of art!-----absolutely beautiful from start to finish, the rhyme and flow are both perfect throughout, and your choice of words simply beautiful. Congratulations on your trophy, and well done my dear friend.
Shaz xx
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MidnightAmethyst Thank you for the gratifying words garnished with your generous applause. I saw a she-oak yesterday and rushed over to stand under it and hear her faint moans while she sang to me. Oh ! there is so much beauty in this world that I will never cease to be amazed at the number of subjects that we can write about. I have sold up my home and bought a mobile home so that I can "write on the spot" as and when I please and paint in peace.... I just can't wait to get going.
In the meantime, I hope you have the time to read some of my other works especially my latter work. Thank you for your encouragement. -
This was done very well, you do have a talent! I love the rain and this painted such a lovely picture of before, during, and after. You put the changing of the weather into such a beautiful piece. You have given me a hard desicion between this poem and your other entry. Thank you so very much for entering.
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Thank you so very much for entering my contest and reading the rules. I must ask that you are patient when it comes to my comments, for I am checking to see if the rules were followed before I comment on any one poem. Thank you and good luck!
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LadyDragoness Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment.
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Lovly piece,
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It's a very beautiful poem.
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WONDERFUL POEM
Oh my Barry, You have painted a beutiful picture with your words. The imagery was simply fantastic. I felt I was there walking on the shoeline and could see the approaching storm. Not always the case in real life. Sometimes we get caught in the rain. And we have to wait till the storm passes. And all storms do pass eventually. Thank you for sharing. Amazing write!!! Hug,s, Sandy
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Sometimes judges feel that MORE people should have won trophies, and that is why they give out trophies. I am somehow finding your behaviour VERY VERY immature. Even my aim is to promote fairness in contests. And I'm sorry to say Bazza, continue attacking me in the same derogatory manner, and I shall have no option but to block you. Infact, I just read this-
You get as offended as you like but while you appear to cheat I will be there to question your motives.
And I am blovking you. You are not on my ignore list yet. You may still IM me, but if you attack me, I'm sorry but I will have to put you on the ignore list as well.
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To The Risen Sun.
'That is Jan's way of dealing with answers she doesn't want to give, surely you can be original and do something different. YOU are the immature one for putting things like paper trophies before personal ethics. I am not attacking you but telling you what I think of your system, why I want nothing to do with it, and why I resigned, I have that right. YOU are immature for not being able to take honest criticism and by threatening me.
I am receiving a lot more support that I expected, so I don't believe that I am wrong and secondly you have not said anything to convince me otherwise.
Changing the entry is not compulsory. Are you that thick headed to have missed what I was saying to you ?? Maybe you should wear a Santa Clause costume than that of a judge and then you can give trophies out without even holding a contest.
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To The Risen Sun
Udit, I DID try to find out by asking my then friend Jan Pickett and all I got was a block on her site, so I will keep asking questions until I get an answer. I may have offended you and that is regrettable but when some (not all) contestants are prompted by the examiner or judge to improve his entry (to the judge's satisfaction) is absolutely crazy, and then to be asked for additional work (again by the judge's selection) makes it even worse and incomprehensible. If that is not rigging the judging then what is ?? You stated that the extra points went towards the final tally which makes it worse again.
With regard to your entering contests where the holder was not to decide on the first three positions and tieing them is absolute rubbish and against all logic because the 2nd and first place could end up with a gold where he should have received a silver. It is an absolute sham what you are doing and just a grab for trophies. To be doing it under the guise of "fair play" makes it even more disgusting and dishonest. I saw Jan's message on your author's page where she said that "we can do what we agreed now without being questioned" or words to that effect. You should have removed her message like you did mine.
You get as offended as you like but while you appear to cheat I will be there to question your motives. If you like I will put all of the above facts in front of everyone on the site and ask if they think it is fair, but that is a last resort.
Also you said I had a 'fabulous' entry and after that I could not even get a response to queries directed to you after you and Jan sorted it out. To tell entrants that if they change their entry as they have a good chance of winning and commenting to me as you did while being rudely abrupt to other entrants also smacks of collusion and certainly can't be called fair play.
It is widely exercised on the AP community but not widely accepted as since I started fighting cheating there have been some very interesting stories coming back to me.
I have a copy of this email on record.
Bazza
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From Risen Sun
When some contest holders have difficulties in deciding the top 3 positions. They decide to give out 6.....PLEASE STOP questioning that. It is a regular practice here, widely accepted by the AP community.
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To The Risen Sun
'I must explain why I withdrew my membership of this Group. I cannot for the life of me believe that 'fair' judging can be executed when the judge prompts and leads the entrants. Competitions are like exams and the idea of the teacher/examiner suggestionsand changes to improve answers is ludicrous. How can the work of the entrant be judged 'fairly' when the entry has been modified to suit the examiner's preferences ?? I think running under the cloak of "fair judging" should be stopped.
Udit, while you enter competitions that have multiple rounds using the same entry because there were "tied" places for all three positions leads me to question your motives, and this practice so everyone can win a trophy is not in my opinion 'fair' either because it only devalues the trophies' value to the point of nothing and makes them meaningless. It also throws a questioning light on the poets who have honestly gained their trophies as well, because one becomes suspicious and that is not fair either.
Bazza Barry Thompson.
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Hello dustookie2 I am glad you liked it for I saw it one day and took my camera the next and all the time could only think"God sent me a picture " and it has been in my head for 4 or 5 years, so i decided to let it out. The photos is the foreshores of Wynnum/manly a bayside suburb/s of Brisbane.
Thanks for reading my work and the applause as well.You are so kind. What part of Oz do live ... ??
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beautifully done
my first impression of the photograph was awe it truly is a beautiful picture of nature and when i read your words ... perfectly portray what you saw... i love the flow and feel of the poem from the start to the finish...some very good lines the last one sums it up ... thank you -
Thank you for the applause and comments and I am glad you got something from it.
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gorgeous!
THIS IS SO AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!! This is really uplifting, too.
We do live in a beautiful world, and you have captured it well for my mind's eye to behold. My muse is starting to wake up.... giving her some caffeine now 
so she can conjure up something good about Spring 
Onto your next poem, and this one was definitely Divinely inspired, I give it an applause!
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Poem read and marked. Assignment (5 marks)-
Write a 10 lined poem titled Blowing in the wind and IM it to me. -
Another beautifully descriptive piece. In your inimitable style.
Nil illegitimus carborundum. -
Well I write rhyming free verse so of course it rhymes. I hate unrhymed free verse because it is too indecisive and leaves too much to the reader's interpretaion of what the poet is trying to say. But that is my preference and no doubt you have your favourites too. With regard to enjambment decisions..there were none as I dont write to strict conventions like that for it hinders the true meaning of poetry. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.
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A poem full of vivid imagery.A feeling of calm and beauty in the storm of life, Ros
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Excellent Writing
This poem gives me goose bumps every time I read it. --Ellis -
God shines His rays through the blackest clou
Bazza, the picture you have painted with your words and the colors of God's palette is heartwarming. Your talent as a poet shines through in this poem. I absolutely enjoyed reading it. Teh reference to the she oaks added to the fantastic imagery this poem portrays. The artwork you added is also vey descriptive and goes well with this poem. Yet your words are so good they can stand alone. Accolades go to you and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Take Care
Desiree -
I liked some of the images and the ambience it recreates, while I am not very sure with your line ends and enjambment decisions. Line ends seem to be drilled with rhyme driven words to this reader...
D -
beautiful description , i appreciate every word written
such beauty created by our lord
such a gift you have to be able to lend words to this so gracefully
thank you for delighting us so
good job -
Wow, this was simply beautiful, You seriously did an amazing job, I can see God was flowing through you when you wrote this, I mean the imagery is beautiful, and the flow was amazing. You honestly did one of the best poems I've read about creation, I said one of the best so dont get a big head, lol but ya you are an amazing writer. I loved it.
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Oh My! Was I ever there are the stormy shore with you. Your rhyming couplets placed me in the midst of the wonder. I love thunder storms, don't like to get caught out in them, but love to watching them through my screen door or window. You have stroke this wondrous painting with the magic of your words. Oh! Am I have a good time tonight reading featured poetry. This is very worthy of merit. I wish you the best in this challenge. Exceedingly beauteous!
Renee
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I LOVE THIS LOVELY FLOWING PIECE OF BEAUTY
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I have just completed the final editing on The Wind .. and it flows OK now.
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dragonsear. Thank you for your taking the time and effort to read and comment on my work and also thankou for the applause. I dont understand your comment, maybe did you mean is my painting anything like my writing ?? Of course the illustration is a photograph taken around the time that poem came to me.A lot of my other poems are just poems I have written since I first started a few years ago and so my experience is growing, because the last ten or so poems have been written since joining this site. But you have seen some of my paintings anyway. I am glad I brightened up your day then, but this was supposed to be solemn and inspirational !!lol.
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Barry, if your writing is anything like your painting, I would love to see it. I was having a yucky day until I read this. You got me to smile. Thanks. Your ryhming keeps improving and has flawless flow.
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Excellent
I think this poem is excellent it gave a very vivide image of what was happening around you at the time the winds hit. I also like that fact that you have discribed this as a whispered message of what you needed to pant, that in itself paints a picture to the reader excellent write barry good luck in the contest Brian. -
Hi sweetpoetess I am glad you enjoyed it and thank you for the nice compliment.
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Thank you Scarlet for those kind words.
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Thank you Shaz for the lovely comment and applause.
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This is a wonderful amazing piece my dearest daddy.I love how you described the scenes here.
Shahrzad 
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You paint your picture well with words of color spoken, life is full of beautiful things even the frog a croakin. Many gifts are given through nature if only we choose to look around and see the beauty all around us on this earth. Nicely done poem with a feeling of closeness to God.
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This is a truly beautiful poem. I love the picture because it went great with the poem. I pictured the whole thing in my mind. To me, this poem is a winner. I hope you win the contest. Keep up the awesome poetry!!!
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Can I add a naughty one now (humorous) but quite acceptable like my others ?? about the wind ??
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Dear Bazza,
Thanks for entering Let's Host Contests. This is to let you know that your entry has been read, and I have made my first notes regarding the poem.
The poem was FABULOUS! It rhymed and flowed so very well. I have just one little suggestion, the last two lines did not flow. They were a bit off the meter. Try and see if you can get them to flow.
Otherwise, a truly brilliant poem, with fabulous imagery, and graphical description, and awesome choice of words too.
Well done, and good luck in the contest.
Also, you may enter once more, under a different category.
Once again, thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest.
~Udit.
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