Sitting in the corner
Chewing on her long dark sleeves
Watching people laughing
Friendships growing
Through the lashes of her eyes
She never lets a word escape
Her chapped lips, her pale face
Betrays not one sense of emotion
As she chews on her dark sleeves
Silently sitting in the corner
Pulling down her long dark sleeves
A crumpled piece of paper comes from nowhere
Hits her cheek, falls at her booted feet
Without a word she picks it up
She knows exactly what it says
Sighing, she reads the words
“F-ing Goth, we don’t want to see
Your stupid scars
Pull down your f-ing sleeves”
And though she knew just what it’d say
The knowledge didn’t numb the pain
“You just don’t understand!” she screams
But no one hears, except her dreams
She drops the paper, hears the laughter
Eyes piercing through her with hate
She doesn’t cry, just shakes her head
As she pulls down her long dark sleeves
Thoughts rush unbidden through her head
“You know you’d be better off dead
Without a family to hate what you’ve become
You’re so alone,
You have no friends here by your side
No one would care if you just died
You tried it once before
I swear they won’t find you alive once more.”
She puts her head in her cold hands
Escaping from her mind’s demands
Despite her efforts, so sincere
Determination kills her fears
“Alright, I’ll be better off dead.”
The voices won inside her head
She leaves her school that day
Knowing that she’ll never return again
She walks silently through the door
Life is no different then before
There is no family in sight
And she knows love has lost the fight
She finds the knife that she thinks best
Her sleeves cover the final test
Dark pain is all that’s in her eyes
The floor is crimson where she lies
An hour passes, then she sighs
She’s finally met her demise
The note she knew she had to leave
Begins “She pulled down her dark sleeves”
Author notes
Written March 17th, 2006
A contest entry
- I just want your personal best. by disparate.
900 points, ended February 20, 2007, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - blackrose... by my savior-pedro.
355 points, ended February 15, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad Dark Depressing...... by Ntagatf.
400 points, ended February 23, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Happy AP Birthday to Me!!!! by OutsideTheMirror.
625 points, ended March 13, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SuIcIdE & rApE by XCrUeL iNtEnTiOnSX.
800 points, ended April 13, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Extreme Emotion by Jezebelle Darktree.
365 points, ended May 2, 2007, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you deserve this? by Never Fall in Love.
850 points, ended August 14, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Thank you... thank you so much.
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this is my second comment(i had to come back and read again) and i still say this is one of the best poems i have ever read
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The last stanza was the best par tof this .. I just wished you used rhyme all through the poem .. it definately would have a better effect.
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omg i almost cried..especially the very last line
Begins “She pulled down her dark sleeves”
but anyways this poem was a very emotional and sad piece..but a very great write..keep it up and hold on
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Good Write
Thanks for entering my contests, good luck.... -
The "sleeves" thing is lovely- it holds the entire write together, in a very original way.
This story has been told a million times, but you made me enjoy hearing it for the 1,000,001th time. :]
thank you for entering!
.:Marie:. -
Amazing!
This is a great poem...it really touched me...it reminds me of something that almost happened last night...i just hope it does't happen at all..this is an awesome poem. i really love it! i really do!
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I ALMOST CRIED
I dont know what to say. I have felt like coming home from school and ending my pain just like this, more times than i can count, I almost cried reading this poem. it shows just how judgmental "normal" society can be. they judge by scars they see, not by the scars too deep to see. I love this poem, I absolutley love it. you deserve to win more than I do, it's a lot better than my poem. Absolulty Awesome write, keep writing the good ones.
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this was a great write and i can really rlate to the feelings in this poem..your words were strong and powerful and just wow..your very talented keep writting
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wow. hope u dont feel like this. i do and i dont wanna see another person go through the same thing. i know you've heard this before, but I AM someone u can talk to. i am a cutter myself. so yea, anyways.... nicely written. its not easy ta find poems like this anymore. please, keep writing ones like this. i'll be glad to read them. good luck.
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It's sad how hurtful and hateful kids are these days. It seems there's no understanding for anyone anymore. It's a sad story you tell.. and the ending is simply beautiful, "The note she knew she had to leave/ Begins "She pulled down her dark sleeves"" I think that really helped to close out the piece and reinforce the 'sleeves' idea, which was also neat. From the title, I wouldn't have expected a sad story leading to the character's suicide. Thanks for taking the time to enter, best of luck.
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Excellent writing
I am amazed at this poem. It is SO sad with mean people, and lonely and sad. Excellent rhyming, good meter, and very vivid descriptions. It's an excellent poem. I wonder since it is so dark if there was something that you could put in the poem that might have saved this person. The group you call Goths, this person, could one person have done one thing that would have stopped this short journey? That might be a very useful and significant pairing with this poem. A balance, as it were. Thanks for posting your poem. Good writing. Carole Dwinell.
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nice poem
good write!
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ok
it was good but i believe it was too long. -
you did an excellent job with this piece. The story flows in such a way that I could almost BE the subject in the poem. The rhyme was not overdone or forced as a few points I was looking at this as a non rhyming piece. It had enough to make it smooth, but I did not feel like I was reading a poem written by a robot. Very very good job.
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this is a beautiful poem. its sad and full of emotion and i think that the people who said fucking goth pull down your sleeves should grow up. they should help the girl not torment her. great poem. i love it and in some aspects can relate to it. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thankyou For Entering -
lol choaticrose.... true spelling.. but dont worry as long as you have it there and read the rules im fine with that.. even through i did say spelling was effective in this contest... anyways concerning your poem, i thought it was very good... and i liked how you blanked out "fucking".. but i didnt mind if you used the whole word.... since your poem showed little cussing and not like.. fucking bullshit bumbass person you.... nothing like that .. so you can go back if you like and change that... you had a good rythem to your poem.... i liked how you were able to flow them together.. very good... and there were no grammer mistakes... as for your emotuions.. very hurtful for the girl.. i could feel her pain.. and i could hear the laughter of the other people in the background.. this poem was truely enjoyable to read... best wishes on your poem
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The imagery in this poem was absolutely astounding...tears are streaming from my eyes...I feel like I know this girl, am this girl...so sad...so touching!
I love this!
You don't need me to wish you good luck...you already have it lol!
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I don't usually like rhyme on principal or even the subject matter in general in poetry, but somehow you managed to make it work with a plot a bit different. I like the imagry and the note and especially the ending that tied it all off. Good job!
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Talent!
Amazing. Great word choice and rhyme.
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