The Sea's Sad Song
On the other side of the rainbow
Beneath the foreboding ancient sea
Folklore tells of a lovely siren
Foggy nights hear her calling to thee
A young maiden using witchery
Punished for casting her evil spells
Years of banishment in the ocean
She became a mermaid Legend tells
Irresistible to the seafauing sailors
Tresses of blond, eyes purest of green
Snared in her beauty and loveliness
En-captured by peril yet unseen
Melodic voice echoes through the wind
Sitting on the reef luring boats in
Hypnotized and mesmerised
Fighting a battle they can not win.
As the tempest brews, the ocean stirs
Now fate cast upon the ocean shore
Their final destiny has become
Salty grave, upon the ocean floor
Author notes
#3
Written March 17th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Lovely. I like how you included a little background on her.
"A young maiden using witchery,
punished for casting her evil spells.
Years of banishment in the ocean,
she became a mermaid Legend tells."
Very beautiful poem! Thanks and good luck in my contest!
-
A beautiful write. Whimsical. Good imagery, flow and rhyme. A lovely tale. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.
Shelley -
Wicked! This poem was got it going on and more! You know your tales of fanasty works. The picture was true to ever word you wrote here.
-
This is REALLY beautiful! You are a very talented writer! Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck!!!
-
I liked the whole thing and as for the theme of the contest this reminds me of a piece that would fit in a children's collection that teaches them about such things. This write is just right for its depth and understanding of a young mind trying to grasp stories written by adults. Good luck in the contest. RC
-
i like this. i like thew scheme. not too many writers write with organization any more. me included... everything is fine. the only thing i would have liked was for the last stanza to have a different rhyme other than the word "shore." but i bet u tried to get something else alaready....good job.
-
Bravo
This is very nice, well written, well constructed, nice images. great with the photograph, imaginative, I have no suggestions for improvement. Bravo! you should have a great shot in this contest. -
Excellent
Hi Sandy, this is wonderful as always!! What a great write my friend and picture!! The lure of your tale captured this reader!! Excellent entry for this contest!! Well done! Good luck to you! Linda
-
I like this very much. "Thee" is one of my favourite words. Well done.
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
