I'm only in here now and then
Please grab a seat and step right in
Saunter down these alley ways
Crouched in corners demons play.
Winding crescents displaying signs
Beware of those with troubled minds
Come see and feel the pain I hide
My windows open from both sides.
Watch the lights switch off and on
An indication that all has gone
Hush now don't you make a sound
Devils haunt these troubled grounds
Exhaling fire, flesh burning breaths
Like a marionette I dance with death
Trapped inside this putrid den
But, I'm only in here now and then.
Author notes
Written March 16th, 2006
Option 2
I'm only in here now and then, inside this tortured mind. Most of the time I'm out of it.
In a list
A contest entry
- For all of the CRAZY poets out there... by AutumnsFlame.
973 points, ended March 15, 2008, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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well
I do love a good dark write and this ine fits the bill. I dare not venture down any darl alley onight for he, the demon is lurking. well done poet
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Ha!
Love this! How this didn't take the gold is a mystery to me... sorry pappacass, but this poem rocks!
Hello?
Are you there?
I said "This poem rocks!"
Princess Perdue?
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Receiving you loud and clear
and thanks very much for the rockin comments 
Shaz xx
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I actually liked this a lot and I really don't say that to a lot of people... the flow was right on. I have only one complaint--- the first to lines do not rhyme, yet the rest of the poem does. That threw me off a little cause it seemed a bit forced. Other than that, I really liked this... great flow... great poem. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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Thank you very much for taking the time to comment, most hosts can't be bothered. I know the first two lines don't rhyme, but I always think it's best to find a word that sounds the same instead of forcing a rhyme, when I find a suitable word I shall change it....been looking over a year lol.
Shaz xx
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The picture totally set the reader up for an emotional roller coaster of a poem. The rhyming was amazing and the word choice was superb. Thanks so much for entering and good luck.
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This is great
I love it. good use of metaphors. why didn't this get into the preliminary finalist list? something must be wrong with her. I think it deserves a top spot, but its not my contest.
Kat
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Thank you for your kind and encouraging comments, I don't know why it didn't make the preliminary list...probably she just doesn't like it lol. Thanks for the applause too
Shaz xx
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Bizarre
I read this and felt like I was in a maze. The picture set the entire poem up with a cloak of creepiness. This write had an easy flow with a voice of insanity behind the words- just what I was looking for. Thank you for entering my contest and thank you for sharing.
-d0ll -
Thank you very much, I'm pleased you liked my work.
Shaz xx
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Amazing
Oh this piece was amazing I absolutely loved the flow of it, it was like the richness of chocolate upon the tongue...and I love chocolate lol!! This piece had a beautiful rhythm and it is definitely a fav of mine so far in this contest, thankyou for sharing it with me and for entering my contest, it was truly an honor to read your creative and talented words!!!
~Terri Anna~ -
this is a great poem iike the flowing of the rhyme excellent. wow, beautiful =]
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Thanks very much, glad you liked it.
Shaz xx
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Truly enjoyed this one! you deserve to win something for this. good luck. take care.
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wow... this is amazing! loved the darkness! loved the imagery! the rhymes.. the flow... everything is wonderful!!!
best of luck in the contest!think this is the best one so far!
great write!
~rana~ -
Amazing write! Interestingly done kinda makes you stop and think huh? These two paragraphs I found very stricking and different
Winding crescents displaying signs,
Beware of those with troubled minds.
Come see and feel the pain I hide,
My windows open from both sides.
Exhaling fire, flesh burning breaths,
Like a marionette I dance with death.
Trapped inside this putrid den,
But I'm only in here, now and then.
I enjoyed reading this and thank you for sharing it!
Ginny
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Thank you for entering my contest! This poem was done extremely well! This piece had such beauty threaded into its insanity. Rhyming did wonders for this piece, unlike many poems with rhyming in every line. It added to the wonder and twisted ways of your poem. It was absolutly lovely!
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brilliant
Wow.. this is just so thought provoking.. brilliant my friend. Your tallent is so versatile...
Brilliant -
This is freaking awesome mum!!
So deep and creepy and dark and scary.
Made me think a lot that's for sure.
Reminded me of Jim Morrrison's type of work.
Love you mum,
~Sherry~
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A good poem.
Shahrzad
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Thankyou very much for your encouraging comments.
shaz xx
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An interesting write, I must say. Your words drip with imagery, a writing characteristic I will always admire. I thought the photo was effective as well. My favorite lines were these:
Exhaling fire, flesh burning breaths,
Like a marionette I dance with death.
Trapped inside this putrid den,
But I'm only in here, now and then.
Excellent job! Take care and good luck in all you do! -
Wow. You have written something that made me wonder about so many things. I really cannot believe you write this sort of poetry sometimes, it is so absorbing of the mind and I want to know how you get inspired so easily (it seems like that)...gosh, what a excellent piece, I am nearly speechless at this marvellous piece. Wonderful!
love
michael
xxxxxxx -
Excellent
A very good one a little darker then usual from you. I like it very much. You always amaze me how you can be so descriptivewhen you write. I think you could give Mr. King or Mr. Barker a run for the money. Sometimes I'd like to be a fly on your wall, and watch you do this. -
very good
a very interesting and thought provoking write. I enjoyed reading this very much.good luck in the competition.and keep up the good work.
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