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Winter Rose

As a Rose in December
Standing out in the snow:
A mystic compelling sight
Never wilting in the cold,
A ruby jewel so bright
Worth more than any gold.

The flawless Rose
The object of my eyes
My flower of affection,
A love that never dies;
With her every angle of perfection
My depression she defies.

In the garden of life,
Solemn and serene,
In height below the rest,
Not mattering to me-
Still majestic never-the-less
In her highest beauty.

Natures greatest creation-
Do not doubt in your mind
Her breath taking ability
Or you must be blind
From seeing the beauty
Of the one of her kind.

As planted by Aphrodite-
Filled with love and beauty,
The presence of her enlightening:
Peaceful and soothing.
So take this rose not from me
Or you take the reason time keeps moving.

With a scent so hypnotizing-
The sweetest as can be -
Embellishing everything around her,
Beautifying the ugliest of scenery-
She can be described with words
Such as of being the Flower of Divinity.

Compared to anything,
She the flower cannot be-
She is above all the rest;
So behold and see
Why I am so blessed
To have this rose for me.



Author notes


Written March 16th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • poet2angels gold member
    November 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Bradley...
    This is beautiful!
    You surely have a talent for combining love and nature to create a beautiful piece of poetry! TY for leading me to this. It was so enjoyable!
    Lynda

  • mumma
    October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem...


  • Tiffanyy06
    October 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, is exctaly what I said after reading this! You have a very good talent. Keep It Up Boy!


  • Little Miss Mozart
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Truly sweet and moving. Nice flow!!!! Especially in the last stanza. I LOVE IT!!!!
    Good luck in my contest!
    ~ Katey ~


  • purple wings
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i agree with randomfandom and cant help but get dajavu as i read.as if the words were not only inspired by your rose but by a writer named...ME!so i will not applaud it.the winter rose is a rair breed indeed.


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    September 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one! Poems like these are exactly why I created this contest, and yours was just bursting at the seams with romance and beauty. The rose is definitely an appropriate choice, as it is my favourite flower, and it has also come to represent undying love. Good luck in the contest, and thanks so much for sharing.

    Take Care,

    Laura


  • Taintednightengale
    May 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfull

    cool, odd, but cool, but then nothings as odd as my morbid lulabye now is it. You "flow" is a little off though. None the less it still beautifull.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    May 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So wonderfully beautiful! Thank you for sharing and for entering in the contest!!!


  • Heartofacircle
    April 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was such an awesome poem, so well done and i just love the roses in front there, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry...

  • shiftyfrank
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    this was a really good write, you really used great imagery. it doesnt really bother me that you didnt have the best flow, because flow isnt always what it is about. great work

  • -the-rattlesnake-
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow!
    tht was amazin
    and brought back some feelings
    very,very well written!
    well done!



    harlequin girl xoxo

  • roj47
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    An enjoyable read, and a subject I write and try to grow in also.
    Keep the writing going and I will keep checking back.
    Many thanks


  • insertcleversn
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    Wow, great metaphor. okay, now let me proceed to psychoanalyze and pick apart your entire poem. hmm...the first stanza: i thought it was a pretty interesting way to start off the poem. as i read the first few lines i was immediately struck with an image of a single rose, growing in the middle of white snow, contrasting with the bland landscape around it. i'm guessing that you mean that the person you're talking about stands out in the crowd to you.
    for the second stanza, i found the last line ("my depression she defies.") rather disorienting because you had turned it from active voice ("she defies my depression") into passive voice (sorry, i have a strong dislike of passive voice). however, i see that you changed it to make it fit with the rhyme scheme (i give you points for that, that's a different rhyme that i'm not used to seeing in hackneyed love poems). so i guess it fits.
    third and fourth stanza...hmm...pretty awesome stanzas, i don't have a comment except that i found them a little bit repetitive because they emphasized the same point (your love stands out amongst everything else). however, i loved your adjectives- they added to the flow and mood of the poem.
    the fifth stanza was my favorite mainly because of the last two lines.
    "where you so take this rose not from me
    or you take the reason time keeps moving."
    you finally bring the reader to the point of your poem in this stanza however, the change is smooth and it fits with the flow of the poem.
    and then finally, you ended it perfectly with the seventh stanza.
    really, you did a wonderful job with this poem.
    now you deserve applause for letting me pick this poem to pieces.
    keep up the good writing!

  • chuff
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    blissful, m8

    I've always longed to experience the feeling portrayed in this line: "my depression she defies"

    I have yet to taste that feeling... touch it...
    Thank you for this!

    Congratulations on a blissful poem!


  • Sincerely
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    (precomment warning:I'm having trouble with imagery today) I liked how you went for it and attacked love in a very abstract way. Your rhymes are pretty good, but your flow is so-so. Maybe check the number of syllables in a line. Other than that it's an excellent start and I think you have a very nice style. Much Love.

  • T-106
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully written.

    Beautifully done! I loved it. Extremely vivid descriptions in all senses, I could almost feel myself standing before the rose, and that's not something all poems do. Rock on, and good luck in the contest! \m/

    On a side note... Careful with the start, you made it sound as if you were gonna compare the rose to something, but you never did... just a minor thing, though. It still kicks ass. winks


  • hellbound shadow
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    Wow this is really good. Has good imagery and flows well.


  • Fly-ing-Mun-ky
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    its a nice poem

  • violet raven
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i love the flow of the poem, I also love the description and the imagry...

  • lust2dust
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    its amazing, and im not just saying that because you commented me ha, but seriously, its beautiful


  • truthfully me
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is beautiful, and the imagery was extremely strong. The "rose" girl must be someone amazing and she is lucky to be praised and loved so much as this.


  • sandy123
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow! wonderfully written , the flow was awesome, the imagery is like....wow! this was beautiful, simply beautiful.

  • somethingsubtle
    March 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    I like it with cheese on it...

    ... this is very beautiful... i can't believe she could come up with nothing better to reply with. Very well done.

  • childlike faith
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful poem about love. Nicely written. Hope you are so lucky as to have Amber love you in the same way. childlikefaith


  • naked roots
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderfully sweet and romantic poem... Great job!


  • LovesWithTheBreeze
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh this was just beautiful! The flow was so melodic! The rythym very well done. And the romantism tied into your words was just beautiful. This was very well written


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Compared to anything
    she the flower can not be
    she is above all the rest
    so behold and see
    why I am so blessed
    to have this rose for me.

    htis is so awesomely romantic. now if there were just someone who would think of me like you think of amber. viyanna r langager


  • bradleyAwray
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks I really appreciate it.To everyone.

  • Stix
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice!!

    "my flower of affection
    a love that never dies,
    with her every angle of perfection
    my depression she defies."

    These are the best lines in my oppinion. KUDOS!

  • WitchGirl
    March 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very sweet. any woman should be proud to have had this poem written in her honor! winter roses should be enjoyed, and it sounds to me as if you are cherishing her very much! a wonderful poem!
    blessed be.

  • eamarti
    March 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful work

    When I evaluate poetry these days I read it, then imagine what I have read, then I read it again - if it stirs an emotional response in me then I class it as a good poem - your went deeper - your use of language was superb and the last line of the poem just pulled it all together. Beautiful work.

  • jewelsoftheocean89
    March 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Truly Magnificent

    this poem is written wonderfully. i love all of the detail, such as mentioning Aphrodite. very well written. i loved it. i love how you phrased the lines and words. it was accurate and perfect. keep up the magnificent. i loved it. thank you for a truly wonderful love poem. i don't find many that can contain as much meaning as this one does and yet is short. (in a good way.) i loved it.


  • bradleyAwray
    March 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I realized that after it was psted and fixed it immediately


  • Mimevas Lemqi
    March 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ummm...its all very well written but...

    Could you make the text a little larger? AT the moment its terriably small and as a result I had to strain my eyes to read it. Such a little change would make it much easier for other people to read...

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