been hit by a car
and though I don't drive them
I am far from the liking
of things gone right
as I am backwards of bone
and shy of the light drum
calling to buy
indulgence is both mine and their game
but I avoid the framework of all the same allowing
the framework
to be the name of buying in
to our eternal flame
as buying in
has ended
in blame blame blame
Author notes
Written March 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Write from a picture by Lucifer.
350 points, ended March 17, 2006, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
very good
an exelent write, very good to read and very "diferent" good luck in the contest. -
This is quite impressive. I especially liked the rythem and how you split up the lines, though I think it might be slightly better if you didn't put a space between each line. I don't know your reasoning for doing that, but if it is to make the poem look longer than it actually is, I say don't worry about it. Sometimes the best poems are some of the shortest. Excellent write, and thanks for entering into my contest!
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