Standing empty,
lonely raining,
softly lit candle,
burning inside,
burning inside.
Gazing hollow,
dripping sunshine,
gentle pink roses,
bide my time,
bide my time.
Follow bleeding,
echoes crying,
openly screaming,
in my mind,
in my mind.
Dolly crying,
shadows waking,
open my eyes,
what is this,
what is this?
Dark room empty,
blinking slowly,
look in the mirror,
who is that,
who is that?
Cement angel,
watching me,
burn the graveyard,
kill me now,
kill me now.
Do you see me,
I'm not leaving,
let me go now,
run away,
run away,
But you can never run far enough.
Author notes
This isn't one of best, but i actually kinda like the way it turned out. It's kinda twisted and may not make much sense, but i think the confusion really adds to the mood.
Written March 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Haunt me, make me cry by Newie.
400 points, ended March 23, 2006, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I totally agree with you. The Confusion adds to the mood. This is a really really good write! Keep it up!
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im me when you get something more than skin and bones in a poem
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Haunting with nice imagery. Well written! Thanks for the thoughts and words. Check out my verse "The Jokes On You", I think you will appreciate it.
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SNAP!
i really like it! good luck on the contest!
~sam
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excellent
i like this one... it's not harsh, but its really effective and yeah... nice work. -
i like how you repeated the last line of each segment, it was as if you really were in a cemetary and your voice was echoing as you paused
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I like the short lines, and the two identical lines at the end of each stanza. It puts the reader in your mind, and lets them know exactly what you are talking about. Keep writing! - SNAP
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5 old applause
