I am in my corner Daddy
Quivering in fear
As I hear the thudding of your footsteps Daddy
I know that you're getting near.
I can feel my heart racing Daddy
Pounding right out of my chest,
I tried to hold my tears inside Daddy
I promise I did my best
But as you reached my corner Daddy
I began to cry,
Who would have thought it Daddy
That today would be the day I would die
You grabbed me by my hair Daddy
And dragged me across the floor,
Please don't hurt me Daddy
I promise I wont cry no more!
I thought I was your little girl Daddy
Your princess with a smile,
But who would have thought it Daddy
That you could be so vile.
We are in the hallway now Daddy,
Right above the stairs,
You tossed me right down them Daddy,
Without a single care.
I can feel my bones breaking Daddy
As I reach the end,
Who would have thought it Daddy,
How far my legs could bend.
Why are you walking by me Daddy
Like I'm not even here,
Why can't I see you now Daddy,
When I know that you are so near.
Who is that at the door Daddy,
Are those sirens I hear outside?
You don't really love me do you Daddy,
Because I heard you tell that man a lie.
I didn't fall down the stairs Daddy,
You threw me like a ball,
Why don't you tell the truth Daddy,
That's not what happened at all.
I'm getting colder now Daddy,
I just want to sleep.
Why are you crying now Daddy
You did all of this to me.
You let your anger get to you Daddy,
Like I knew it would
Ill never get to grow up Daddy,
Like mommy said I could.
Tell mommy I love her Daddy,
Tell brother I said goodbye
Oh and before I forget Daddy,
Did you really want me to die?
Author notes
Dear Readers,
I want to personally thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to read this poem. It is because of you that I know that I can continue to write the heart felt poems. Secondly, I would like to say please, protect your children. If they tell you something is going on, check in to it. A lot of children do tell someone they are being hurt, but are never believed until it is to late. Our children hold the future in their hands, love and protect them so that we may have a future. Thanks again!!!
~*~*~Donielle~*~*~
Option 8
Written March 15th, 2006
A contest entry
- The premier poet on ap!! by Little Miss Mozart.
300 points, ended November 7, 2006, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Poet On AP:Season:2:Round:1 by wakingdevil.
600 points, ended November 25, 2006, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For The Abused.... Serious entries only by Whispering Winds.
650 points, ended January 1, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Child Abuse Awareness. by Lord Merlynn.
750 points, ended January 3, 2007, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want To Feeeelll The Emotion(prewrites allowed) any subject.. by dragontuba.
600 points, ended April 3, 2007, 135 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest: Child Abuse Prevention - June by Page Shut down.
600 points, ended July 1, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Cry by DemonicChanel420.
700 points, ended October 28, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This is a beautiful poem, so very sad. I hate knowing that children have to go through this kind of stuff daily. Good luck in the contest.
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I am in my corner Daddy
Quivering in fear
As I hear the thudding of your footsteps Daddy
I know that you're getting near.I can feel my heart racing Daddy
Pounding right out of my chest,
I tried to hold my tears inside Daddy
I promise I did my best
You grabbed me by my hair Daddy
And dragged me across the floor,
Please don't hurt me Daddy
I promise I wont cry no more!
I thought I was your little girl Daddy
Your princess with a smile,
But who would have thought it Daddy
That you could be so vile.
We are in the hallway now Daddy,
Right above the stairs,
You tossed me right down them Daddy,
Without a single care.You let your anger get to you Daddy,
Like I knew it would
Ill never get to grow up Daddy,
Like mommy said I could.
Tell mommy I love her Daddy,
Tell brother I said goodbye
Oh and before I forget Daddy,
Did you really want me to die?
I can relate to this poem in so many ways so sad yet full of the true reality of abuse the past does not eqaul the future good luck in the contest -
OK so this is going to sound odd, but i didn't like this poem in a good way. It brought up all those little bits of me that I have buried away in memory and keep shoving back so not to deal with them. Normally I read a poem of this subject matter and it just sounds like the person can't put together how it really feels because they don't know it, or it's over done by about a light year or two. You were able to capture it though with out an overkill and crack one of my shields. It's hard for someone to do that. (I am nearly positive a lot of it was the repetitive "Daddy" so avoid ever changing that.)
I would not have commented on a normal poem of this matter because of the close to home hit, but because of how well this piece is written and put together, I had to say something.
many koo-does to you.
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We are in the hallway now Daddy,
Right above the stairs,
You tossed me right down them Daddy,I didn't fall down the stairs Daddy,
You threw me like a ball,
Why don't you tell the truth Daddy,
That's not what happened at all.
Without a single care.didn't fall down the stairs Daddy,
You threw me like a ball,
Why don't you tell the truth Daddy,
That's not what happened at all.
I'm getting colder now Daddy,
I just want to sleep.
Why are you crying now Daddy
You did all of this to me.
wow I can relate to your poem from the bottom of my heart as my mum often threw me down the stairs and everyday she beat me and my step dad abused me the past does not eqaul the future thank you for entering your poem and good luck in the contest
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Painful to read, I myself have suffered at the fists of my Father so can relate to this easily ... You are brave and strong for letting the truth out.
Do not let anybody tell you not to write like this as it is an expression of truth and the truth needs to be heard
♥
Thank you & Best of luck
Stay safe
~Manda
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I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL
well i personally loved it i understand where you are coming from and i was abused as well and i am now in foster care and i have been since i was 8 i am 15 now so great job i felt the feeling in your poem you inspire me!
angel of the dead
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Just wanted to give you a little extra bravo!
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Keep it up
I think this is done wonderfully. The ppl who bash you are ignorant and can't handle the truth that reaches into your soul as you read it. It shows just how good you are at telling these things so true. Keep on going and don't be discouraged because it's just what the devil wants to happen, for you to quit.
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I am sorry for your pain...one can not know it until they have experienced it themselves...but because of ppl like you that help to understand..some will be saved..good jo
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wow that is really sad omg i cant believe what it is like to go through that...
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that almost made me cry! It was so sad and Im so sarry that it happened to you!
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lol, told you so
wow, this poem still does not ceise to amaze me, i told you id come back every now and then for some inspiration, lol. but in anycase omg! i cannot beleive that anyone could possible hurt a child... it agrivates me and brings a tear to my eye. but in anycase, im annoyed i havnt read any of your newer stuff, and i really should have by now... in fact...
In anycase wonderful poem. And as for those bashers you had or still have, unless they can come round to your house and make you stop, dont let them get to you. they're not worth the emotion if they cannot appreciate this for what it is.
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this is a well written poem and i hate that you experienced anything like that first hand just keep writting the more you bottle up the more pain you carry with you thank you for sharing your poem with all of us
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First of all, anyone leaving bashing comments on this piece is completely ignorant. Unless they've experienced this kind of pain, they should keep their mouths shut! It's because people like you have the courage to write their experience, that others can benefit from your experience, strength and hope. As a fellow survivor of terrible abuse, this is how we survive. Reaching out and connecting, so we know that we're not crazy, we're not to blame and we are NOT ALONE! Thank you for your courage, don't let anyone get you down. This is a powerful, powerful poem.
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this was very sad I liked the repetition it made it that much more beautiful.....so very wow...annd a definate tear jerker....it was deep and emotional...keep writting you are very talented
XTashaX -
This is a great write. I hate how children have to suffer like this, and I'm sorry that you and countless others go through it. You've captured emotion beautifully.
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WOW - it is hard to believe people would say nasty things about this piece of work. it is poems like this that open peoples eyes to what really does go in in the world - your parents sometimes are the least people you can trust, and sadly that is the world we live in today.
I love this write, and i feel it was from the heart. it flowed well, and had a heartfelt content. Congrats on winning bronze for this. Take care and keep up the great work.
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Donielle, Sweetie, this is horrendous! Although I went through abuse as a child, I didn't suffer as much at the hands of my father; it was my mother, and I was sexually molested from the age of three by two of my older brothers.
No child should have to go through anything like this, especially to this extent. I'm so sorry you suffered as you did. A child is given to love. God bless you, Sweetie. Hugs, Patricia
Congratulations!!!!
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Very Heart breaking
First of all, you done a wonderful job on this write. It really took a lot to do this. Trust me I know, I cant even write about what happened to me. Your an amazing person just by what you have said here. I am so sorry for what you have been through. But sometimes what happens to us makes us the people we are today.
Second, And I pray others read this as well as you. I have been trying to pass one very important message on to everyone I meet. We have to protect our children, if we don't who will? And please, if you dont like kids, dont have them... they are not asked to be brought into this world to be target practice. And if you have them and don't want them, there are many people that do.
Anyways, Thank you so much for this entry in my contest. Sorry its taking me so long to judge.. but i had almost 100 entries...lol
Many blessings to you,
Tammy
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I'm so sorry you had to go through these kinds of stuff Danielle. This was a really sad poem, that really hit me hard. It makes you think why you complained about your own life compared to someone whom could die by the hands of their father. Obviously that bit isn't real, I doubt your a ghost... But I understand the sentiment your representing. Thanks so much for sharing... I hope healing happens, though it never really heals totally. x
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awwww
this was the saddest poem ever!! i hate child abuse, so this was really awesome. the flow was as good as the rhyme was, and the way it spoke froma childs point of view was absolutely heart breaking, good job!!
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Wow.
My mother abused me so i know how this little kid feels. I love my dad to death though. I miss him. I am stuck now because of my mom in a hell with no escape and i am forced to see her every year around this time. God has no pity, if there is a god. He is a mean person. -
Beautifully written poem. It's amazing I love the part
"You let your anger get to you Daddy,
Like I knew it would
Ill never get to grow up Daddy,
Like mommy said I could."
It has real emotion and is very powerful.!!!
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I also have three kids, this leaves me with a feeling of unsettledness. I can't even watch the news anymore because of cases like this. You keep on writing, if it is for healing and release and to get a message out you go girl, We need people who can be the voice of the child. I am appluading for sharing your heart and soul and putting a voice to the thousands of children that have no voice.
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This was a beautiful piece with a very strong ending and the only flaw was the constant repittition of daddy in every stanza which took a bit of the flow away.Other than that, fantastic!Thanks for entering and best of luck
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this poem just left me shocked...seriously its like...wow...so good...its so much harder to write through a child's eyes unless you felt it yourself...i to have felt this and i know that its really does hurt...you have courage...to write this...thank-you...read my poem "daddy...why?" its very similar but i wrote it ages ago
xox Tash
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this is a really good poem
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Good for you for writing this! I think the only reason people would discriminate this is because they don't want to deal with the fact that abuse is a big issue in our country and our world. Nobody wants to pay attention to it, and I'm glad you are. I applaud you for doing so. I was molested, too, at age four and I understand what that is like. I have never had a parent abuse me, though. YOu are very brave and strong! I LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!
Great write and God bless.
~
Katey ~
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Thank you and I sincerly apologize for the misunderstanding.
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You don't sound angry at all and I completely understand where you're coming from.
My initial reaction was that this is so personal, a critique would be hurtful to you personally. My experience on this website has taught me that even though people check the critical box, most still don't want critical comments. I apologize for lumping you into that category.
To answer your questions:
1- Oh- I answered that one!
2- When I write about a particularly painful experience, I don't show people until I am able to step back from it and be objective. When the "I" in a poem refers to the author and not a narrator, it is usually much more difficult to be objective about both critique and revision. Because of the comments and your page, I thought you were the narrator.
3- I didn't see the comments that were deleted. My opinion was based on the comments that are here now. My impression was that they were harsh critiques and you didn't want that. If they were personal attacks, shame on those people.
4- Fair enough w. your page.
I made assumptions based on what I read. I was wrong in the personal assumption and for that, I apologize.
I will bookmark this and come back to it when I'm done with the contest. Thanks for being understanding.
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I am trying to think of how to ask this without sounding mean or angry so if it seems that I am please forgive me because I am not.
1) Why do you think that I cannot handle a critique? If I didn't want your honest opinion then I would not have entered this particular poem in this contest.
2) I am not trying to be the narrator in a story, but tell about a memory that happened first hand in my family. To let people know that this is real and how much it hurts.
3)I am not trying to sound like some, I don't know, angry, hateful person that deletes critiques I don't like because I'm not. I deleted 3 hateful and hurtful critiques that not only bashed what I wrote but me as well. They most likely would have been deleted by anyone else in my position as well. I am open to any and all suggestions by anyone.
4) My bio page, is in the process of being rewritten so please don't base this on what is written there. I haven't had the time to get everything back up yet.
If you still feel that you would like to send your honest critique then I would greatly appreciate it. I am very open-minded and appreciate and and all critiques that I receive. The good and the bad. If you feel that you see something that needs to be changed, then please share. The only way anyone learns is to hear the opinions of others. If others do not share then we will never learn to reach our potential. Thank you and I am sorry if I sounded angry because I am not. I just didn't know exactly how to word some of what I needed to say. -
Based on your author's note, the content, and your author's page- I'm not going to critique this poem. It needs critique and it needs heavy revision, but in order to that, it also needs an author who is willling to seperate from the narrator in order to make the writing better. It may be unfair for me to say this, but I don't think you can handle a real critique.
If you feel you can and want one, let me know and I will write one. -
oh the saddness that grips me I can usally relate to the poems I read this one I can't and for that I'm so grateful I've had my share of abuse in my life, but not like this I feel so helpless and my sorrows go out to you I see why your page is the way it is and should be...Great writing of emotions and the imagergy was scarry...
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oh my god. That's really all i can say. I am almost speechless. This piece was beyond astonishing. My heart sunk & my eyes watered. The flow and the rhymes were wonderful and clearly not forced. I could read this poem a hundered times, and never get sick of it. I can honestly say this is one of the BEST poems i have ever read. I could sit here all night and type what i like about this poem, and it still wouldn't be everything. I am so glad i came across this poem.
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That was really touching and beautifully written. I especially liked the very ending. Good luck in the contest~
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hey, this is very good and very touching. its beautifully written and i wish u the best of luck in my contest!!
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well written
i am appaled that people would bash your poetry, there is nothing wrong with writting a poem with so much truth... i know people who were physicly abused by parents, i was sexually abused by someone i trusted.. (not my parents) so i know what a horrible thing it can be. i apreciate what you have written it raises awareness about this kind of thing, you also wrote this very well.. -
Thank you for your kind comments. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work. I am not on speaking terms with my father at this point in time. He is actually in jail for hitting my son. I have considered sending it to him to let him know how I feel but I don't believe that it would phase him at all. Especially after the way he acted after I had him arrested. Maybe one day he will realize his mistakes and learn from them. Thanks again.
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I loved this poem. Very emotional! It's always sad to me and breaks my heart that a parent could actually do this to thier own child. It makes me terrified to have children. Very well written and I'm sorry you had to experience that. Have you ever showed this poem to your dad? If he is human, it will break his heart.
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... wow. i dont know what to say. this poem was so sad and how could anyone ever bash you for this. its an amzingly lwriten poem. very well written. so sad and unbelieveable although i know many people went through this. my mother included. one part i really like. i think it made the whole poem
I didn't fall down the stairs Daddy,
You threw me like a ball,
Why don't you tell the truth Daddy,
That's not what happened at all.
I'm getting colder now Daddy,
I just want to sleep.
Why are you crying now Daddy
You did all of this to me.
You let your anger get to you Daddy,
Like I knew it would
Ill never get to grow up Daddy,
Like mommy said I could.
Tell mommy I love her Daddy,
Tell brother I said goodbye
Oh and before I forget Daddy,
Did you really want me to die?
that part was the part that made me the saddest.
it is sad the abuse happens everyday with out people even knowing it. i fell the emotiona dn i want to find you where ever you are and give u a hug ( but i wont cuz i'm not a stalker)
great write good luck awseom job
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this is beautiful in a dark way, which is exactly what im looking for. its inspirational, and im so so sorry you had to experience this, i haff no idea at all what it must haff felt like...well done. truly amazing.
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this is such a great write. it truly does seem as though this came directly from the mouth of a child. it truly is a horrible tragedy that such things do happen in this 'civilized' world of ours. great flow and description, keep up the great work. peace go with you
~shadowlyn -
I really like this- the rhyme is great. I didn't like the repeating 'Daddy' so much, but that's just a small thing.
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Wow. really I can't think of anything to say other than this. This was just such a wonderful poem, and it really did sound like a kid was writing this. It's so sad that this happens. Like...seriously, wow I'm so speechless because this was just so...for lack of anything better to say. Wow. Wow. And wow again. You totally deserve the applause and more.
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Wow. I really do not know what to say. This is such a heartfelt write and so bravely written. The repition of Daddy makes the impact of the piece even greater. Excellent write. X
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Wow. I really do not know what to say. This is such a heartfelt write and so bravely written. The repition of Daddy makes the impact of the piece even greater. Excellent write. X
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I like it. It is very descriptive and it is a portrayal of how society is. I have a poem similar to this called "Beat Up Shoes" It's about abuse and neglect to a young child. I think it's important to write about such things because people need to be aware that it is happening. Many people don't know. This was a well-written poem and I like it a lot! Great job.
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that was the most incredablie and hear wrenching poem i've read in a very, very long time. i felt so many emotions when i read it, hate, fear, sadness, pain, it almost makes me sick to my stomache. it takes a very good writer to be able to bring that out in me, so hats off to you! i realy love this poem and i think you have an absolutly AMAZING tallent that you could go very far with and touch a lot of people with. i'm so sorry that you had to experience something like this, but i hope you will be able to continue to use that horrable experience, combined with your incredable gift, to bring awareness to this important topic. stay strong, keep writing, and God bless!
~poetriae furor -
I reall enjoyed your poem and I'm truly bless that I never went through that.I'm sorry you did and I just want you to know that what don't kill you will make you stronger.I don't know you personally but I do believe I can say you are very talented and gifted.Please continue to hold your head up and continue to write what you feel.
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perfect
wow!WOW!wow! its so sad! u have a real gift! -
i love it! its a littil creepy though but still good.
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awesome!
This is a terrific piece if work… hats off to you. Please don’t apologize to anyone for this awesome and moving poem. I am sure it is an inspiration to some of the readers who have also been abused. keep do'in your thing... -
No joke, this poem made me cry. It's amazing how much this poem portrays, as well as actual goings on it shows the emotions of the little girl and her so called father, and gives the reader many feelings to think about.
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OMG i am so going to
: ( as i read this i felt like i should do something for this girl. how could a man treat his daughter like this and thn lie about what he did to protect him. -
This poem brought tears to my eyes. It's a beutiful piece. It's a shame what happened to you. Keeping writing what you feel.
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What a painful life. It hurts to think life should be so awful for some one so small. Great job and, please, keep on writing! I love this piece.
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Excellent
A sad situation. I am sorry for your pain. I have never experienced this first hand but I have done alot of research on the subject (I love children, have five of my own!). I think it is a shame that someone can do this kind of thing, let alone to their own child!!! Check out my piece called "He Forgot" also on child abuse.
Great job and, please, keep on writing! I love pieces that evoke emotion, any kind of emotion!!!
Annie
Edited on Jul 12, 9:50 p.m. because ''. -
This was inspirational and moving on so many levels. Like I always say to poets like you, it takes a lot to be able to write this kind of poetry, and to open people's eyes to what happens...I think you managed to do that...after seeing your applauses but other than that you are an amazing writer! Keep writing and being a perfect and inspiring poet!
Thanks again
~Music Lover -
Wow this is awesome, I think it's just so awesome! I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling right now. I know people who hav been abused, andI knwo people who are not sure if they have been abused or not, I know peoplewho I'm not sur eif they've been abused or not but I get worried sometimes. This poem is just os heartfelt and deep, it really gets to me. It's desgusting what adults can do to their blood relatives/children. Desgusting. Amazing poem.
Cassandra -
Awsome!
oh wow that was a very very good piece of work right there donielle. i can feel the emotion and the rhyming was done very well. keep up the good work-Doug- -
This is a very sad piece and i truly feel sorry for you and many others who have suffered this kind of experience. Sometimes anger can bring the worst of people, this I have heard of before but I never thought some fathers can do this to their children. I mean how can they be so cruel and hurt their children? I just can believe that this kind of things also happen, it really hard to believe.
You are right, I think the readers who comment on this poem should not criticize without knowing you personally. In fact, i think that you have the freedom to write what you want and others do not have the right to say what you should write.
Good poem,
nellymichelle. -
I alomst lost a friend to this.She came crying to me for help,and i did.This brings adwareness.BTW all you abusers out there Hope you DROP DEAD and your house burns down you child abusers!
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wow....very sad...and don't worry what people think...they can't even step outside of their own tragic comedy to see the bigger picture...i know what you mean though by people hating you for writing this....i've actually written some stuff like this and got some of the same reactions....but that's okay because we'll keep writing..haha.anyway you're poem is truly awesome, and heartfelt...and everytime I ready Daddy at the end of a line....it just makes the poem so much more intense(in a good way)....but the ending was really tragic and real because in reality that's what abusers do they make themselves into the victim....so that they dont have to take responsibility....good job!
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Wow. this is so sad, but so amazing. I really enjoyed reading this. it was a great peice. keep up the awesome work.
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What a painful life. It hurts to think life should be so awful for some one so small. Because you have felt this pain and have not forgotten, I know you will be able to help some one hurting the same way.
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fantastic peice. I have never gone through abuse but I know people who have/are, it is an awful thing to have ecxpirianced.
this poem conveys it's content well, being from the point of veiw of such a young and innosent seeming person really adds to it's strength, making it a very moving peice -
i dont see why people could be bashing such a wonderful poem as this! its so sad and if someone bashes this then they are truly cruel and unworthy of being called human. im so happy for you that you could share this poem with us, abuse is so hard to manage and realize everything, this poem reflects it through the yes of a young girl, who must be you and it breaks my heart when i read poems like these because they are so sad that they bring tears to my eyes! keep spreading the word! thanx for shring such an amazingly emotional piece!
~Abused ~
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Amazing!
That was amazing. I was abused as a child too, and I know what goes through the mind of a little kid who's been abused, just like you said. This captured it perfectly. I am really glad you can write heart felt stuff like this. its horrible that people would rag on you for writting this, i think its wonderful, really heartfelt, full of meaning, and for people to hate you for showing what its really like is just downright ignorant and rediculous. Keep up the good work, no matter what people say, if it comes from the heart and from expierience, then its going to be good comming from you. great job. -
Wow this is really good. It is so sad, that we have to endure this types of things from are parents. You wrote this really greatlly, and I wanted to let you know that. I have never expirenced this type of behavior from my parent, but I know its hard. Great job once again.
Kimberly Mack
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I read this poem before....its very sad and very real and it takes a very part of you into the poem....uh...i cant really say what i feel because its just to wierd to comment this for me..it was good of course
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OMG!!!!!!!this almost put me in tears. my eyes are still tearing up. wow, this is got to be one of teh best poems i ahve ever read. i kno what its like to go through abuse so this hit a sore spot. im sorry about all of this. i love had you kept using daddy over and over again...repitition..its good.
im adding you to my favorites
<3 elissa -
wow boy what to say....I cried is all I can say.
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amazing
WOW this was fantastic i am speechless.. Im am so sorry that you have had to deal wiht abuse. Abuse is one thing for an adult to have to go throught but for a child, its something that you can never forget something that u can never overcome...My daddy passed away march 11 99 adn he was the best he would have never hurt me. I miss him tones.. I can express all teh feelings that i have towards you everything that u had to encounter. I am really sorry. I hope that u can oneday over come your past. I know its alot harder then just that but i do hope the best for you. Good luck in this contest.
Yours truly
Krissy -
THAT IS GOOD BUT REALLY SAD
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awesome write but the sad thing is that really goes on in this sick sad world.
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wow this really is a very powerful piece... if you hadnt explain yourself I would still be amazed wondering how you were able to write such a wonderful piece, I mean it's amazing how you can really express yourself but then again am very thankful because you are willin to share with us your friends at AP your life
am very very impress and really I cant wait to read more of your work.
am sure your work will really put people to think and some may even make some changes. Thanks for sharing
much love
~*BB*~
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Heartbreaking
This is a well written poem, and the innocence of the child breaks the heart. It isn't sensationalism, it's a fact and a very sad one at that
I am so glad you survived and that you are able to write about it. That in and of itself, takes tremendous courage. I really don't know how you're able to do it, I can only hope that it gives you some release. Don't listen to the ostrich that only wants to bury it's head in the sand in the mistaken belief that everything is well and safe. There NEEDS to be more awareness of this problem, that is the only way society can attempt to get it under control
Best wishes in the comp and thank you for an eye opening read Love, light and hugs...Deb
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I have already read and applauded this write before. But again, well done and a very powerful poem!
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i cant stand reading writes like this. they make me so sad.. its so real because i know things like this happen every day. A+ to you for being able to work through it and have the strength to write about and post it. thanks for sharing.
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Pshaw! Ignore your detractors, dear. This is a wonderful, poignant, terrifying, yet beautiful poem. I felt your pain and your puzzlement.I am so sorry that you had to experience this, but you have done a beautiful job of telling the story. Keep up the good work.
Thanks,
Anne -
the innocence and the description you put into this is amazing. it's so sad, but the poem is painstakingly written and very true.
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omg......that is probably one of the best poems i have ever read in my life...i absolutly love it...wow.....-MKN
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ouch man. this is terrible...well not the poem but the situation. The poem is so beautifully sad actually. I love it. Im sorry this has happened to you. you expressed yourself so very well I can tell there is a lot of feeling put into this. how you said the dad was crying and lying to the man. Man that was some deep stuff there. I like how it ended. I really do...How the child asked the question. I can see this happening as I read it but theres nothing I can do to stop it. Its saddening really. This piece holds a lot of power. If all your writings are like this you are a kick ass poet and i dont care what anyone says you got some tru tallent. Keep it up. Good Luck in the contest.
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wow this was...just wow
i know everything in this poem to a personal level. it pissed me off to remember my dad like that...
although you captured the innocent nature of a child perfectly, when this happens to you, your only left wondering 'why'
this poem was brilliant on so many levels. it was deep/ meaningful, had a good flow and rhythm and im going to bookmark it ^_^
from a future compadre... i hope
-mike -
good
Damn..this poem is deep as hell girl!!!!!!!1 good write..
xoxo
courtney -
hey this was a very powerfull poem..you did a great job!! It was very sad tho, full of emotion!!! I hope you are doing lots better now days!! Im sure this was hard to overcome
great job
take care
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uhhhhh, i dont know what to say.... WOW!!!! well, i hope this brings attention to the amount of abuse ther is now.... well written.
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This is a heartwrenching poem, I am personally angered by the way people would bash this poem, it makes me sick, because this is a truely amazing poem and maybe it will move people into action. Well done. It left me speechless
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AAAHHHH!!! i cried. amazing. horribly sad story but well written. *sniffle* really sad. good rhyming work - it didn't get in the way at all. <3
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This has an amazing amount of applauds…
The piece is well written, I think I may have read it before… not sure though. Either way it is well written, the repetition works well and the content is clear and simple yet full of some powerful expression and enough suspense to hold the reader.
Thanks for entering
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wow so many applauds. never seen so many before. u did go thru a lot of pain n there r plenty going thru right now as i type thises words to u.some times i do wonder where is the ever loving n merciful god is. some times i do.nice write but must have been paiful too. bless u.
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i really like that this is written with such simple words. the tone of innocence and the simplicity of wording really makes it sound as if it's coming from a child. well done.
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Thank you for the kind comments. I am actually a member of Faithful Dreamers Group. I joined as soon as she started it. There are a lot of wonderful members there.
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Wow! You're really lucky. The Lord must be watching over you. I, myself, keep a special place in my heart for those who have. I have you meet my AP sister, Faithful Dreamer. She strated a group called Poets Against Child Abuse. If you haven't you should come check it out. Your poem is really wonderful written. I like how you rhyme at each line.
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wow.. .that is all i can say is wow.. i havnt gotten to read all of them yet.. but i can almost guarantee you a trophee.. wow... thank you so much for entering..
Delicate<3 -
Thank you for writing this and sharing your experience - opening the windows to connection through sharing these scary places is a gift that I'm grateful to receive...... I wish you well in your journey.
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well abuse of any kind and age gathers scars....
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wow this was totally amazing. i'm glad i read it... it totally gave me chills, just to think about an innocent little girl falling victim to such violence. it was so simple, yet sincere and raw/emotional. thanks for writing this.
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This is a very sad, and heart pulling poem. It is an amazing thing to read a poem about abuse that has so much emotion. This poem made me cry. I really loved the emotion, keep writing.
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