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Absent

This morning I woke up – alone
The bird of dawn was looking queer
What be the worth of early dew
Alike, our Mother sheds a tear?

Upon my rise – the sun also
Reflects my face, a tarnished veil
In the crevasse of your absence
Lays a sole golden symbol - stale

Author notes

I'm not happy with the present title...any suggestion would be helpful, thanks.
Written March 13th, 2006

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Comments

  • Liz45601
    March 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good

  • YourWordsBurn
    March 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I thought the imagery was spectacular, but I couldn't really follow the point of the poem, butr I thought it was great anyway. I got all the parts of it, but I couldn't see them as a part of something bigger.


  • Rainydaywoman
    March 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I think that maybe, "The Crevasse of your Absence" would be suiting. I dunno. I liked this poem. Great job! ~ Rainy


  • GreenKat92
    March 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    hmn...

    This is an awesome poem... I like the title, but if you wanted a diferent one,... I can't think of one that suits it like this..... My Gold( for the sun.. ok that wuz dumb... urs is better...)

    much luv~
    shadowed