Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Fishing in the Straits of Detroit

Michigan stares me in the eye and laughs as I stand at the river's edge, waiting for a fish.

I can't bring myself to skewer an innocent invertibrate in the name of the hunt.
Which is okay, 'cause I think using a silver hook is tacky and barbaric.
Which is good, 'cause I don't know how to thread one onto a line.
Which is a blessing, really, 'cause I can't afford a fishing pole.

Deprived of cruelty, incivility, know-how, and wealth, I can do nothing more than stand next to the Detroit River,
Arms spread wide
Waiting for some great-lake mackerel
To choose its own fate.
To die in my embrace.
To prove Michigan wrong.

Author notes


Written March 12th, 2006

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Poettramp
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That was beautiful...I hope he jumps right into your arms.....
    What the hell's up with the guy above me..what a weirdo...."Fully grasped the implications...." Sorry but he really made me smile..."According to the published statistics...." HhaHaHa that's gonna make me smile all day
    I loved the tree thing...like a bunch of shelves...I don't wanna kill a fish,
    I don't wanna use a hook,
    I don't know how,
    I don't have a pole anyway.
    A beautiful train of thought...Sherlock holmes would be proud of this assesment of dedution and reason...
    Joel

  • Vera Rich
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very witty indeed - and the demotic language is handled neatly. (NB, the spelling of "Invertebrates" - the third vowel should be an "e" not an "i".)

    It is around 20 years since I was in that part of the USA... so I am not sure that I have fully grasped the implications of "proving Michigan wrong". Does this mean that - according to the published statistics and reports - there are no longer any such fish to be caught in the Narrows... but that the protagonist of the poem is - nevertheless - still hoping for one?

  • Bucket
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really like the use of logic and the civilized feeling of this piece. Very simple and pleasant.


  • xVowsareSpoken
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oOo! Interesting! You know what caught my eye?? The "Detroit" in the title. I'm from Detroit! lol. Anyway, I thought this was such a unique and extremely original poem. I absolutley ADORE the fist stanza, where you say "Which is okay, which is good, which is a blessing" because you turned things into a different image, making someone take it in a different way. Am I making any sense here? lol Well done.

    Take Care,
    x PatientGrace x
    Jasmine


  • ebaby
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    a very different poem here, I got the real feeling you do not like to fish... and how does this prove Michigan wronge? Im confused...

1 - 5 of 5