Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

~Fallen~

FALLING INTO THE DEEP NIGHT
TWO ANGLES TAKE FLIGHT

AS HIGH AS THEY FLY
BOTH WAS FACED WITH THE FACTS THAT ONE MAY DIE

THEY NEVER SHOWED THEIR TEARS UNTIL JUDGEMENT DAY
WHEN GOD ASKED, THEY TRIED NOT TO SAY

BECAUSE THE TRUTH WAS THEY WERE NEVER ANGLES
BUT DEVILS WITH BAD SOULS THAT WAS TANGLED

MAD AT THEIR LIVES AND MISTAKES
GOD MADE THE JUDGEMENT DAY A FAKE

YOU SEE BOTH THOUGHT BY LYING THAT ONE WOULD MAKE IT TO HEAVEN BY CHANCE OF SMALL
BUT BOTH NEVER EXPECTED TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE
AN FALL!!

ASHAMED OF THEIR SINS THAT WAS MADE
LIVING IN DARKNESS MAKES THEM VERY AFRAID

WITH HELL VOICES AND SCREAMS FROM ALL AROUND CALLEN
THAT'S WHY THE TITLE OF THIS POEM IS CALLED "FALLEN"

MORAL: NEVER LIE!!!!!
OR YOU COULD DIE!!!!!

Author notes

NEVER LIE BEHIDE EACH OTHER BACK
BECAUSE YOU MIGHT MESS YOUR SELF UP
Written March 12th, 2006

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Entwining Beauty
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    your poem is very differnt but comes with a message, there was one thing i have to comment on though thats all the caps throughout the poem,I feel it spoiled it thats my personal opion.There somthing missing i don't know what i think it because it felt more like a conversation than a poem but it was still beautiful.
    true never lie behind someones back it'll always come back on you.

    HOnestly i think it is because it is so differnt but i would change the caps LOL

    best wishes and keep the pen flowing


  • March 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem i really liked the flow of it good luck with your writing and if you dont mind could you comment back on some of my poems please i would really appritiate it

  • OneAndOnlyRay
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Loved your poem!!! Plus I love you so thats a bonus!!!! Great Job!!! Its about time you got serious and wrote a good decent poem and nothing crazy and off the wall like the usually AJ does!! Lol!!! Overall Great Job!!! I really loved the moral thing "Never lie!!! Or you could die!!!" It was fabulous!! Also I loved the whole flow of this poem!! Everything balanced pretty well to me!! Good Job on the part!! Umm...also I liked how everything ryhmed perfectly with eachother!!!! Good Job on that part also. Overall this poem was good Alex just contiue to write poems like this!!!! Even though me and you are in this contest as competitors don't worry its all for fun and my the best one win right!! Good Luck!!!! Love you !!! Great Job!!! Keep it Up!!! Good Luck!!