Off in the distance i see a flicker
Of a fire in the snow
It's brilliant red on gleaming white
Giving us a winter show~
A sudden breeze of wind
And softly, swirling snowflakes
In an instant- the fire is gone
As it rested upon my windowsill
And for a brief moment called it home~
Oh redbird, pretty redbird
Now where will you go?
Will you create for someone else
The grand illusion
Of a fire in the snow?
Author notes
Written February 6th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Excellent
Awww, I could feel the season from your images. So very well done.
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Very good
Very nice poem, nice picture too. Where'd you get it? One little comment though...why did you decide on the 'leftground' picture you have now? Just curious... Anyway, about the poem. Interesting idea, as it keeps you wondering about the 'fire in the snow' until you get to the last stanza. Good job! -
nice
nice poem, I enjoyed your conclusion a lot. thanks for comments on my poem. much aprecciated.keep on writing.
-EnkoU- -
The title of this one really caught my eye. Never would I think to describe red birds as fire, but that is a really good image. You really do have a way with words. Once again, about all I can say, is wow. Don't ever stop writing.
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do not touch
All I can say is " beautiful " the poem.......and the pic was one of the most beautiful ones i have seen on here . Danna Hobart , thx for leading me to this one. A wonderful way to end my day
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thanx for the comment, i liked this poem. i like the atmosphere that you put in here. good job writing this.
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What a wonderful poem! Such Hope and visual poetry, as always. You are truly gifted, Susan. May you be blessed, dear one. Hugs, Myra
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Oh yes Susan this is beautiful...beautiful red bird in the snow seems so out of place doesn't it?? That picture was beautiful and perfect sis
Lovely poem hun
Hugs~~
Dawn -
This almost has an Emily Dickenson quality to it...love how you played the color into the ending...you have a beautiful imagination... way cool...Peace.. .Mudd
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this is very nice, susan. made me think of Robert Frosts poetry.
one thing I saw that might could be tweaked...
'Will you create someone else
The grand illusion'
was thinking 'will you create (for) someone else'?
I have a LOT of haiku up. won't you come and read them all? lol!!!!
just kidding ;) there is no reciprocation required when I read your poems. you may read or not- comment or not. just have fun and be at peace- no pressure
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You were right to suggest that I might like this poem. I do. It is Emilylike... Great job...
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Ohhhh Susan,
this was such a beautiful and wonderful write, where did you get this picture? I loved the whole little tale, and Iam sorry but it as usual had an underlying sadness in it, maybe that was what made it so touching, but it was so soft and beautiful nonetheless, I bet you would be amazing to inspire with photographs, all your writes arew alaways so vivid, you seem to just immerse yourself in the moments captured in pictures, and you did a wonderful job yet again here,
beauteeeeeful write Susan, thank you for inviting me to read,
most sincerely,
joe -
I was wondering where you have been. This is so beautiful I absolutely love that picture too. Very suiteable write and photo together. I wish I could figure out the IM. But if you can please IM me and tell me why you were in the hospital?
Red -
Susan this is soooooooo pretty and the pic to! Really very well done!~Laura
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I love it! I think it's very pretty! be-a-u-ti-fu
l poem! gorgeous bird too! I like cardinals... they're so pretty! I love the contrast of the red on white! (heh! always the designer!) I think it's very pretty. I love it!
*smoresgirl*
Edited on Oct 11, 2:22 because ''. -
So good to see you again hun... Hope you're feeling better.
I love Cardinals... This was a lovely poem...
(((HUGS)))
A little spring time... -
wow susan, this was really good, i loved it. it was so well put together and really true, amazing!
kayla* -
I miss winter so much here, and cardinals!! This is such a perfect poem...even without the picture I can so picture the scene...breath taking as usual...love ya, Ro
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Cardinals certainly are regal birds, aren't they? I miss living in a place where they frequent. The only birds I ever seem to see now are sparrows and crows. :-(
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Nice job Blushy. 'My Cardinals' are always here in New England and flit about the deep snow just as you have described them.
Sag -
What a beautiful cardinal !! So pretty on the snow ..lights a fire where ever it goes...Such a pretty poem"... never see the cardinal up here in Maine ..guess its to cold up here for there little red coats
Very nice job Hon* ...beautiful poem as always" Love; MINA~`)
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Susan, Thanks for your wonderful comments I will take on what you have said! This poem is nice makes me think about winter and children! I miss winter living here in Australia!
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Loved this, Sis! Cardinals look so beautiful against the white snow! Coincidentally, last night I bought a figurine of a cardinal. It's sitting on my computer..my cat was pawing at it..hehe..(looks so real, it fooled her). I took a picture of a cardinal sitting on the snowy branch of the tree right outside my window...should have zoomed in more...I like the one you posted better. So glad you're back! Lovely poem!
Love and Hugs,
Maureen -
a grand illusion of nature blending in with nature...the bird in the white snow...wonderful anaology...thank you for writing this and sharing with us...love ya ~~Jenn
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Absolutely beautiful, Susan Cardinals are so beautiful, your picture is magnificent
Love ya,
Karen
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wow... I love this... it's snowing right now outside my window... we are living in a parallel universe... I wrote a poem about snow too... nothing so beautiful... snow is inspiring... this is wonderful...thank you,
*mo -
cardinals in the snow, beautiful
another suggestion for the 2nd stanza,
line:
And for a brief few moments called it home~
change to:
And for a brief moment~
Called it home. -
Oh Susan this is beautiful girl. thats a very purdy bird. (and here i was thinking that you were actually talking about a real fire, oh how silly i am lol) a lovvely poem, i enjoyed it heaps.
hehe even my cat, Rayne, liked the poem (well the birdy anyway) attackin my screen!
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Lovely Susan, and what a pretty bird, we only get robins and bluetits with colour they are lovely enough but he is beautiful.
Barbsx -
Lovely write Susan my dear ....
A cooling thought as we down here are basking in summer heat ....
But yes, the cardinal is like "fire in the snow"
Take care dear friend,
Luv Ya
Sammy. -
tis gorgeous Susan
and I love the bird
AND the snow
can we have some please
only critical thing with this is the double usage of moment in the 2nd stanza
takes away from the piece just a lil bit
tis bootiful
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Oh Susan this is beautiful what a lovely read and picture
enjoyed this one, you wrote this so pretty its got a feeling of comfort and relaxation yet natures enjoyement.
Hugs,Sherry
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