A PERFECT DEATH...
Under a big old oak tree,
Surrounded by nature, I..
Would slowly watch the sunrise,
And prepare to die,
I'll pick me some lovely Roses,
And pluck each petal there,
Each of those my memories,
To scatter in the air,
One was for love that held me,
One for those I left behind,
One was for my penance,
Another for pain inside,
Plucked one for those who knew me,
And one to forgive the rest,
For all I loved and lost,
And laughed with in sweet jest,
And rest I shall on this tree,
As my life force ebbs away,
Looking towards the sunrise,
On this my last Earth day,
Memories drift through me,
As my soul reaches the skies,
The most beautiful memory ever,
The magic in your eyes,
Ne'er mind my rusted armour,
It doesn't hurt no more,
The life that was has ended,
On this tree near the shore,
At last my own dear sunshine..
Hope leapes into mine eye..
Take ye my soul forever..
And now ..I let me die..
Author notes
honest critique
Written March 11th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Darkest, Scariest writes by vampireblood.
300 points, ended April 8, 2006, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Perfection.
It reminds me of an old Irish tune...Carrickfergus...
but even this seem more superior in grammar and with so much more heart.
The last testament of a beautiful soul...
You really have enormous talent lassie,
this is impeccable.
Blessings,
LOWELL POE
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That was an amazing poem. It was sad and beautiful. I loved it very much.
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This piece is very peaceful, though there are hints through the references to armour and pain that the buildup might not have been so serene.
I especially love the reference "last Earth day", it works really well and it just sounds good. Never seen it referred to like that.
Good write.
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This was a very deep and intense poem. I did like the creativity of it a lot. Like said below the thought of a beautiful death is rather interesting, great poem, I really enjoyed it!
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Beautiful
We usually write about death, as something sad and painful.
A perfect death.... A beautiful death... who would have thought about it? Really nice. I personaly, I like your poetry a lot. Keep writting
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Truthfully i thought this was an amazing poem....the whole poem flowed wonderfully....great job and best of luck to you in my contest
~~~Vampireblood~~~ -
Thank you for your comment - it is indeed most appreciated - I just wanted to portray a good side of death - we are immortal in spirit.. it is only the body that dies.
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i have never though of death as something that could be portrayed so beautifully. i always thought of it as an ending, and somethign sad, this has shown me a whole different side of it.
thanks for sharing, this was a truly beautiful write
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Thanks for commenting on my poem. Glad you liked.
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One was for love that held me,
One for those I left behind,
One was for my penance,
Another for pain inside,
Plucked one for those who knew me,
And one to forgive the rest,
For all I loved and lost,
And laughed with in sweet jest,
just a magical journey of the sentiments here..
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Thank you for making a comment on my poem, I do appreciate it. I wanted to bring to life a dream I had a long time ago - sometimes death can be beautiful, it doesn't have to be always a bad thing.
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Well done
The reality of it makes this poem completely awesome, very deep and true emotions you show the readers here. Honesty and passion collide within the words of this work, completely wonderful in my eyes. Thanks for the chance to read this, looking forward to more from you in the future, keep up the excellent and original writeing. -
Interesting poem i like it though very good and expressive well to me at least.
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This poem is interesting.I like it because it kinda makes sence.
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