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Ramblings Of No-One

innocent blood
seeps blue
the victim's flesh
broken into

pools of revenge
anew
see lying tongues
lacerate through

a once gold heart
so true
torn into shreds
by loving you

lost, lucid tears
drip too
memories fail
and no-more new
 
picture perfect
skies blue
and I'll never
again love you


Author notes

Blah, Blah, Blah~~~~
Written March 11th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • siahaan
    March 13
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  • 245Trioxin
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Right off the bat when you use lines such as:

    the victim's flesh
    broken into

    Where people might question "into" as your exact meaning. That's my favorite style of writing. Keeping the reader guessing. It can be something as subtle as one line of few words, either meaning can be used depending on the readers take on the poem.

    Nice reading a poem of substance.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks!

    I'm glad you could undertsand it a bit, and as well, I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for the tip, you're so right, it needed to read, torn into shreds. Thanks for your help! And I appreciate your time reading me. Much love to you and yours! -Timothy The Poetic Weaver~


  • nichtmich silver member
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Very Creative

    Wonderful, fresh view on a well known subject. If this is just rambling, I will certainly have to check out your other work! BTW, it seems to me that "tore into shreds" should be ~torn into shreds~ Unique imagery and clear meaning.


  • Sharon Corr gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliance & Beautifully Penned in tears of e

    My Beloved Friend Poeticweaver~
    Oh, your song takes me back to Cream
    “Born under a “Bad sign”
    As you Penn in wings divine

    Sort of feel like Eric Clapton today
    “If it wasn’t for Bad love I wouldn’t have no love at all”

    When the teardrops pour like acid rain,
    And the sun refuses to shine
    I love you as passion champagne
    In a lovers flame of sultry wine

    Its dawn and I’m weary
    In all the lies
    Across the stars clearly
    I’m here in your sighs

    The trysail lights of yesterday
    Upset the scales of balance
    And cast shadows upon today
    A whiter shade of pale in silence

    Ramble on my poetic soul brother
    We all have days of sunshine and rain
    Seems you’ve paid your dues in yesterday pain
    And the ones who seek your heart are here today.
    Whispering to you in all their loving ways.

    I love you and I’m here for you~
    The Title blew me away
    I’m speechless today
    The lyrical flow is flawless
    And I’m deeply feeling the meaning
    Not just singing these words to you
    Darling I hear and feel you in truth.

    I would have to copy and paste each line
    Back to you, this is how much I adore your rambling..
    Ramble on and on in your painful poetic pen darling.
    You know we all stumble and fall
    And most of all we hear your call

    Brilliance & Beautifully Penned in tears of elegance!


    Edited on Mar 11, 6:14 p.m. because ''.


  • Swtpoetryman
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    STRAIGHT TO THE HEART!

    Concise, Precise, and straight to the heart of the matter with a crossbow and a poison arrow! Love liks all things has a dark side which this poem perfectly shows. something that can give so much - so much pleasure trust, faith, peace, and complete surrender can also lead to unbearable pain and gray and cloudy days for what can be many a dismal and loveless day, indeed! I hope that you find someone to replace no one, SOON!
    Love & Peace!
    Earl.

  • colormepenguin
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    amayzing poem..i shivered as i read it. simply fabulous though and i look forward to reading more of your poems


  • poeticweaver gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks!

    Yes, I used it as like a theif, stealing, breaking into one's soul, self, ect...Glad you liked it, love ya sis, always, your friend, Timothy
    Edited on Mar 12, 9:51 because ''.


  • cherche -d -ame
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Timothy...my friend and brother, I won't pry. I just feel that there is something really tearing at you ...this is not your usual writing style so i just want to say " I am here if you want to talk" if not, I understand also,
    much love and good thoughts,
    xoxoxo
    reenie


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    don't blah, blah, blah!! me. this is wonderfuly well written. makes me hope you are not writing this for your feelings at the moment. but it is good.

    a once gold heart
    so true
    tore into shreds
    by loving you

    this is so very something i can relate to. i do have a question. surprise! me and my word choice ponderings. in the first stanza, you use broken into. is this as in a robbery or as in two(2) either is good. i like the robbery usage. it is very clever and much more profoundly deep in meaning.

    you have written another great one. viyanna r langager


  • jmiller420
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    Great form in expressing such a feeling. Loved reading it, thanks for the chance to do so, keep up the great writing, look forward to more from you.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks For Caring!

    I don't know how you mange to be the first one to read me all the time as of late, but I can tell you this, I'm glad that you are. I truly appreciate all your tender care, and you fill the void I have had with my own flesh and blood. I know I'm no perfect vessel, but I have tried many years to be the best I know how to be, and believe me when I tell you, I have not had the same effort shown to me. But for sure I've learned how to be grateful when others put forth any kindness, for within some of the souls I thought I could once trust, I find they inflict the most wounds upon my once trusted heart. Thanks again my sis and friend, Timothy


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    My brother, I can feel the pain and the angst just flowing from this piece! No "blah, blah, blah" for you've obviously penned something you felt deep within your spirit Please know that should you need anything at all, I'm here for you! Love you ooodles! Your sister

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