I can't do this..

My hands shake as I prepare myself
I look to See where would be best
knowing for me I'm way past help
feeling my heart pound in my chest

I drop twenty and pull back a thick four
I wrap the belt and pull with my teeth
the sweat rolls from my brow from my chore
I can feel my blood boiling underneath

I 'm sorry I thought I could do this write..
but I can't finish this, I thought that
this would help me but it didn't....