Dundee enjoys a great repute
For Marmalade, and likewise Jute,
And (ere depression cast its shade)
Time-pieces in its bounds were made.
Here too, of old (forget it not!)
They built "Discovery" for Scott,
Here the High Girders, ill-renowned,
Fell storm-struck - and a train was drowned.
But of all echoes, good and ill,
Which to the name "Dundee" cling still,
None can a greater impact make
Than those which cling about its Cake.
That poem of the housewife's art,
Whose perfumes through the nostrils dart,
Whose fruit and nuts and spice and peel
Around the taste-buds dance a reel -
Such Cake a poet's tribute earns,
No less than Haggis hymned by Burns!
And so I come to sing its praises.
But how am I to turn my phrases?
'Twould be polite (pray, do not smile!)
To do so in the local style...
But Dundee's Laureate, I recall
Was William McGonagall,
And one would have to work quite hard
To emulate so BAD a bard!
Still, nothing venture, nothing gain!
And so, accept, please, this refrain:
THE ODE
"O glorious and delicious fruitcake named after the city on the banks of the silvery Tay,
Which Isobel was so very kind as to present to me but yesterday,
You should by rights have been nibbled at four o'clock with a genteel 'cuppa',
But as I couldn't get home for tea - I shall eat you for my supper!"
Author notes
To anyone who has NOT read McGonagal, let me tell you that you are missing a real treat... His verse is so BAD (see the parodic "Ode"), that it has become in its way a classic in its own right.
And for readers not entirely familiar with UK English, "a cuppa" is demotic for "a cup of tea!".
A contest entry
- A silly, dairy-oriented contest. by Phoetiquette.
500 points, ended March 15, 2006, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Weird Tastes by SPAMkid.
486 points, ended December 7, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Favorite Birthday Cake by chazza j.
450 points, ended February 16, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Jingle your favorite food for me... by AnotherName.
525 points, ended June 25, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Words to form a smile by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
800 points, ended August 17, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FRUITCAKE by Melodies.
600 points, ended December 8, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - . by Aurora Ceres.
700 points, ended January 20, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Food for thought by SpiceRack.
500 points, ended February 26, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Song by Shya.
690 points, ended June 20, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tea and Cake by cricketjeff.
1000 points, ended August 7, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lighthearted/Funny Poems! (Prewrites Allowed) by XxNinjaNemoxX.
700 points, ended August 9, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1072 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please do not feel obliged to comment - and if you feel you really must, please understand that it may be some time before I acknowledge it!
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Oh I know who you're talking about!
I live in Scotland, so I really admire this piece
I like it, thanks for entering and best of luck to you
xoxo. -
The divine McGonnagall, surely the greatest (insert suitable word here if you can think of one!) never to be poet laureate.
Great fun!
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Don't think I've ever had this particular cake. Sounds like a reason to visit Dundee and I would sample with or without a cuppa. Maybe a little whisky would be nice alongside?
Enjoyed this write.
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Another wonderful poem. I loved the ode at the end!
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wow this makes cake sound good. well done.
"Whose perfumes through the nostrils dart,
Whose fruit and nuts and spice and peel
Around the taste-buds dance a reel -"
this makes me want some cake with nuts and fruit on top nice write.
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This was quite the poem! Good Luck!
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congrats haha well done..now i want to eat some fruitcake brb lol
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Thank you - and bon appetit!
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Sweetly done with splendid heart and true talent
Darling poem with such humanity and sweetness built in. 
Made me wish I might be there.
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an amazing write which was unique and different and made me smile alot
i loved the way you wrote it
well done and best of luck
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I am not a fan of "fruitcake" but I surely am a fan of this poem. The language here is festive. I enjoyed! Thanks for this entry in my contest. Best of Luck!
April
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good! ponypower
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This is without doubt the best entry of the entire contest, which isn't quite surprising considering your reading preference. It reflects your literary path. Thank you for creating and sharing. I enjoyed being on this page. Take care,
U
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Thank you for your comment... I am glad you liked it... particularly as it did not "place". But perhaps it was not odd enough! Ah well... "de gustibus.." etc...
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Lovely dish you have there, I should read some more McGonagal, sounds like my kind of poet. Great job, and best of luck in the contest.
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Oh, I forgot!
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I read your poem and laughed, but had no idea why I was. Then I found some McGonnagal and understood. I liked this poem a lot. You now have permission to not only have your cake, but eat it whenever you darn well please!
K -
May I include this in my anthology of "cuppas", by the way? (to be published at lulu.com in the coming months?) If so, please send me a brief bio. Thank you and all the best, ea
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Thanks, I realized after I sent this to a friend that what I was thinking of was Branson's. LOL
Hope you're doing well. He enjoyed this very much, by the way.
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I came back to "Let me eat cake" to change the background (now that I have discovered how to do so I am gradually converting all my backgrounds to something more readable!)... And have just picked up your comment of 9 March. Yes, I know that this is ridiculously late to be replying. However, on that day I was horribly exhausted -not only had I had had major surgery the previous week, but the day before you wrote I had been taken (still in bedroom robe and slippers!) to the BBC studios to record some of my poems for Radio 4's "Leading Edge". How I managed it I simply do NOT know... It was a great psychological boost at a very difficult time - but it left me completely drained of energy, and I slept more or less continuously for the next couple of days.
To answer - even at this late date - your query. I would not call either Dundee Cake or Dundee Marmalade a "pickle". The cake is a rich fruit cake - the marmalade is sweet and sticky and well-laced with whisky (which distinguishes it from the teetotal "Oxford" marmalade) - and in any case, cannot be what you meant, since marmalade is only eaten spread on bread or toast at breakfast time (though it may feature at other meals as part of a pudding or sauce!)
Anyway, please accept my profound apologies for not replying before. But it really was not a good day for me! I would beat my breast in shame in the traditional manner - but that is a physiological impossibility now!!! Still, please accept the thought for the deed.
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I have just picked up your comment on "Let me eat cake"... Insdeed, I know Robert Service's work... My mother - being an Arctic/Antarctic enthusiast - made sure I knew it (even the slightly naughty allusions) at an age when my schoolmates were still lisping the inanities of A.A.Milne.
If you like Service - I imagine you should also enjoy Kipling... And if you have not read him - then please give yourself a treat and do so! -
Hello Vera,
Very funny "turned-well" phrases. You must be feeling a bit all right, if your jocularity is any indication!
Not familiar at all with the personages mentioned. Do you know Robert Service' work? What a character that guy must have been! I think he gave rise to the first ROFLMAO!
Seriously, How are you? Hope you are making slow but steady gains in recovery. I think of you every day, and that a portion of my prayers go your way.
Want to read something +/- funny? Do you know
touchof1der on this site? She's been aol(away w/o leave) for some time now, and I left a note for her on her author's page.
If you'd like, go there, and read the last comment on her page. It is the first thing I've written in months.
I'm glad you are well enough to post things. It snowed today here in the Mojave Desert.
Your friend..........................John -
This piece of work is unco' braw
But where's The Broons? No' here ava'
Oor Willie, likewise, no' a mention
(At 70, he's drawin' his pension
And Desperate Dan, with his cow pies
Does not appear before my eyes
But all of them, and young Lord Snooty,
As Dundee Cake, are not so fruity.
Excellent tribute to Dundee, though if you go there now, you'll find a fine new glass shopping centre as you do everywhere else. But it's still got a D.C. Thomson look about it. Crivvens! -
intriguing, I have just now found your page, imagine that. Thanks to Zara.....I shall add you to my favorites so that in my brief moments of relaxation I can pick and choose tidbits to savor:
freda -
Is Dundee that brand of pickles or chutney-like concoction the Scotts are always spreading around at Tea?
Well, a whiff of William McGonagall ought to wake me up. -
A rich moist nutty fruity wee poem! McGonnagal is a scream I think. Loved this slice of humour. Enjoy your cake. x chilli
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i will eat cake whatever time of day it is! aye a good old cuppa too. it's all good in my eyes. an excellent poem here
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