While surfing poems at ol’ AP one day,
I happened upon a most wonderful writer
With eloquence that made my spirits soar
And wisdom that made life seem brighter.
Naturally, I added her to my favorites list
So I could find her later and read some more
But when I came back again the very next day,
Her username was no longer there like before!
“Where the heck did she go?” I thought.
I searched and searched my list in vain.
Her name was “Cosmic Rainbow Flower”.
How could I miss that? I searched again.
But there was no Cosmic Rainbow Flower
Then I saw a system IM I'd earlier missed
Telling me that she had changed her name
(I was notified because she’s on my list.)
Her new username was “Stepped-On Flower”
So I figured she was nursing a broken heart.
I sent her a message full of encouragement
And suggested she make a brand new start.
She said, “You know, you’re absolutely right!
I should be happy that bastard left me alone!”
I received another message from Kevin later
Saying her new name was “Flower Regrown”.
But the flower apparently was in too small a pot
Because her enthusiasm quickly came to an end.
She was always riding an emotional rollercoaster.
She’s changed her name many times since then.
From Flower Regrown, she became “Fertilizer”.
That was one of her lowest periods, if I recall.
Then she was “Ragweed That Nobody Wants”
That was the one that worried me most of all.
Finally, I gave up trying to memorize her names.
Life is hard enough without all that extra work.
Then one day, I got an angry message from her
Saying, “Where the heck've you been, you jerk?”
She told me she’d had been to hell and back twice
And that she’d changed her name fifty more times.
I felt like a rotten, thoughtless, inconsiderate swine
For wasting so much time jotting down silly rhymes.
I tried to explain that I'd been busy writing 'n stuff
That I was distracted by, you know, poetry practice,
And that I lost track of her after her sixty-third name.
(By the way, her name is now “Carnivorous Cactus”.)
So what is it exactly I’m trying to say, you might ask?
Well, if your friends are flakes who don’t stay in touch,
Just a thought - your friends may not be to blame at all.
You’re probably just changing your name too much!
Adding your comment:
Too funny Mark. I guess I have a lot of catching up to do in your writing that have been missing out on lately. Deepest apologies for that one my brother.
