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Jack's Anger

Missing image
Look past the marionette,tossed and bloodied, whore
Through the brown cobblestones on the floor
Along the silver, magikal, scalpel knife
She was a loose woman and could not be compared to your wife
Stick the knife into her fatted spleen
Everything is now drug fuelled and is not as it seems
Cut her throat, sharply from ear to ear
You had listened to the complaining and nagging for many a year
Now all you hear is a gurgling and a sharp death Flem
As you lifted her reddened petticoat from the bottom of the hem
Crouching down stabbing, accentuated by the gas lamp
You ravaged her womanhood with silver, in the cold and the damp
Who gives a damn about a whore and a dirty street tramp?
A revenge against a wife by a Mason with a sharp knife
A sexual desire and the absolute need to take power over a life
Soon you would hear the return of the black horse and the hearse
Another woman violated and the satisfaction of the compulsion and the curse.

Georges.

Author notes

Written March 8th, 2006. " She ricochets and you don't notice."

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    January 5
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    WOW!

    I know i've read this before but this is fuckin AWESOME! Your descriptions are perfect and i love everything about this piece. This would be one hell of a way to die.....and one i'd choose if i had the choice. Thanks for your entry


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    August 24, 2008

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    not as good as your other writes but awesomely inspired jack the ripper was fucking amazing, i liked this write alot
    it is very very well done
    all my love
    kitty xxx

  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ONCE AGAIN

    AMAZING!
    Jack the ripper is one of the greatest killer's and i fuckin love him
    kudos on the write and thanks for your entry


  • callmeZakk
    July 2, 2008
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    omg jackt he ripper i love it


    its amzing

    i cant describe my aww

  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    January 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WOW.....

    THIS IS HOT.
    A very well told tale about the THE RIPPER! O.O
    YAY!!!!!!! This guy was truly amazing and greatly intrigues me, he's always been a very strong interest. ESPECIALLY the savagery of his crimes and to think he was never caught.
    Anyway, hot write and you did JtR justice.....kudos


  • Simply Lost
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Now this is absolutely wonderful! I love the imagery! The rhyme is fantastic and the structure is sound!

    Good luck!


  • hommie-t
    December 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oooooo. very visually pleasing. very good vocabulary and rhyming


  • DancingShadowCorpse
    August 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was alright, gory and dark.. I liked that. However, the actual writing of it to me wasn't that great. It could have been a lot better. THank you for your entry.


  • Jiyo
    August 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    yeah, jack the ripper was such and evil person...but its like he didnt even realize he was killing people...like saving part of a persons kidney and giving it to someone as a gift....they think he was a doctor..which scares me, because there are a lot of seemingly crazy doctors, but you always think, oh, its just another loony doctor....maybe they are really are crazy, how would you know...anyway, nice poem, it got me thinking


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 13, 2007
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    Jack the Ripper was a horrible, notorious and evil person... I was going to say being, as I don't feel comfortable with calling 'him' [or her] a person, as these acts were far too grotesque to consider anyone to be a person that had commited them. Nicely written here.

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    June 20, 2007
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    I am guessing this is related to Jack the Ripper... Oh yes, I expect so... This is a gruesome write. We can notice the organised killer from other killers and yeah he crossed over sometimes but yeah this was a good write and very true on the acts that Ole' Jack did in London in the 19th century.


  • vampireblood
    June 16, 2007

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    Very dark indeed. Jack the Ripper happens to be one of my favorite serial killers. I think you did a very good job at the descriptions. Nicely done. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~~~Vampy~~~

  • Synthetic-Nightmare
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    FUCKIN RIGHT!

    KUDOS CAUSE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE JACK THE RIPPER AND SECOND, KUDOS ON PICKING UP ON THE "WIFE" POSSIBILITY! I can't see who posted this cause this contest keeps it anonymous, so i'm not sure if i've talked to you before (though chances are probably not) but this is pretty fuckin good!


  • Kitsune Kyuuketsuki
    October 10, 2006
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    didn't follow rules. read them and fix it. should i say please? because i will grow tired of doing so, as no one is following the rules.

  • BlackRosesinAutumn
    July 6, 2006
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    GOOD JOB! wow very gorey! just the way i wanted it to be! Wonderful! Good job!
    Good luck in the contest!


  • BlackVenom
    July 2, 2006
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    FUCKING LOVED IT OMG YESSS!!!! Totally savage sickne3ss...and I love Jack the Ripper!!!
    Good Luck
    BV


  • marlenambolden
    April 26, 2006
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    This too has been fun and great to read again you are a genuis Thanks for entering


  • masterblaster gold member
    March 9, 2006
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    Hi, very dark, our friend the ripper , I wonder if they will ever be sure who it was? so many odeas but nothing concrete so I guess it is still the million dollar question, a good write, very blood thirsty,lol, well written, it will be very popular I think, all the best, hugs Di

  • buffytheparrotslaye
    March 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Scarily Brilliant!

    Now listen Jack you can explain away with as many excuses as possible but there is no way you should have comitted this bloody heinious act.Thought we would never catch you but here you are on the site.Imagery is vivid,bloody and sterile and cold in precision and execution.She may have been a whore but she was person too.Man how do you get into these evil minds so well?Brilliant.All the best Jack,or should I say Georges.Elizabeth.


  • dustookie2
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

    yeah the doctor, the mason, the knife, gas lamp....and the ripper. this is great i love it a few absolutely brilliant written lines. just like the two below.
    Now all you hear is a gurgling and a sharp death Flem
    As you lifted her reddened petticoat from the bottom of the hem

    just one awesome piece of writing and i have had the pleasure of reading this. thank you

  • Mad-Hatter
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me a lot of Jack the Ripper. Mostly because of the last line.

    I will not deny it: You've inspired me to write something. Unfortunately, though Jack the Ripper was an actual person, I would still feel terrible for stealing your idea.


    But this applause will do for now.


  • Glenda L Hand
    March 8, 2006
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    Is this Jack the Ripper?? This is a great write if its not, even better if it is.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 8, 2006
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    A sexual desire and the absolute need to take power over a life
    Soon you would hear the return of the black horse and the hearse
    Another woman violated and the satisfaction of the compulsion and the curse.

    jack the ripper????? i do not know but this is so eerie and disgusting to think that there really have been people like this. viyanna r langager

  • comet of 1989
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    errr, i can't really make much of a comment. Very descriptive, and, well interensting.
    a good write

1 - 24 of 24