Her whispers, tingling from blood rose lips,
Lingered in memories of forgotten past.
Dangling between spider woven threads,
Fragile and thin, brushed aside,
Forgotten, if not for the irritation.
Sticky ends melt under cool façade,
Hot waxes dripping from waning candles,
Danced its eerie glow beneath the beacon.
Those were the memories,
Flashing pictures of,
Half-attempted love and unwanted lust,
Tearing apart the perfected picture.
Her dance, enticing, snaring me in her trap,
Brilliant glows of sunlight, glared upon my face.
Under stars of moonless night,
I followed, stalking, tracing her fading footsteps,
Fascinated, enchanted by this heavenly creature.
She had tangled the line, and foolishly,
I took the bait, against my own will.
Her sweet kisses, a tempting addiction,
Pained my blackened heart,
And ignoring my better judgment,
I submitted to my own desires.
Gone, dancing away beyond my reach,
In the dark pit of my chamber,
I only dream of that forgotten night.
Drowning in past misery,
Constantly wounded by this ache,
Unwilling to depart from this memory,
I'm falling beyond self-control.
This obsession, unable to forget,
This loneliness of sleeping alone,
And to wake, drenched in self-pity,
Never again with her.
Author notes
The story, incase you don't understand it, or its not clear, here's the shortened version: vampire fell in love with mortal, she died; he's immortal and can't die, so he's left by himself.
(4)
A contest entry
- Embracing the Night by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended August 4, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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huh very beautiful indeed I really love this poem such dark that I really wanted. I am adding this to the finalist lis
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speechless just an amazingly beautiful write gold winner!!!
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wow
this is truly an amazing write powerful yet a little sad but masterfully written this will probaly take gold but i will by honored just the same to have entere this contest with the likes of you goo luck an please keep writing
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Amazing and sad
This is wonderful!! I really love how you made a poem of a vampire falling in love with a mortal. This is easily one of my very favorite poems on here!! It made me feel so sad.... Thank you for entering and good luck!
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i love this poem! i am one of the biggest vampire freaks ever... i really liked this poem
Her sweet kisses, a tempting addiction,
Pained my blackened heart,
And ignoring my better judgment,
I submitted to my own desires.
this part is really good, because im sure a lot of people can relate to it, we know that we should not do something, but we give in to the temptation. very good! -
omg!!! that is so sad
how he wanted he, but denied himself her, then he finally gave in, only to lose her,
but it's what was in between that counts.
it was a really good poem, the emotion, love and pain , was present and very strong.
the story of the poem would be hard for most people to understand, you do give a few hints that he is a vampire, but some people don't read into the poem, they just read it, so they wouldn't have a clue what you were on about, poems with mystery are good, you have to think a little bit, but i think one was a little to much mystery for some/most poeple
i kinda understood it, but it wasn't completley clear.
other than that it was wonderfull
thanks for entering and good luck
xxxx
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When I was reading I didn't even know this was about vampire like love. I'm not a fan of vampire stuff, but this is good and interesting in itself. I quite enjoyed it actually. Good luck in the contest!
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This is diffrent thanks for shareing and entering...excellent write and good luck
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thank you for the author notes, they cleared up anything that was unclear.
nice write very descriptive, a emotion and power fill write, this was very well worded and phrased.
Good job and good luck!! -
i so toltall y got it the poem is very good and i like it good luck in the contes smiles
it makes me want a boyfriend girlfriend which ever comes first cry cry lol
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I loved the powerful imagery throughout the poem. There was a sense of sensuality I really liked... it was almost surreal. The descent into madness, sadness was beautiful. I liked the story... it gave a depressing view of immortality. Thank you for sharing and thank you for entering my contest.
-d0l -
This is a very emotional write.
I enjoyed sympathizing of the mourning.
Thank you for entering my contest!
Aurora Jade
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I really liked the imagery. It didn't really have a constant flow, and, whereas in most cases that would take away from the poem, in this one, it made it more pleasant to read because it added to the mysterious aura of this piece.
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lol, thanks for the brief outline, but i guessed it was about some sort of immortal and forbidden love, so dont worry but thanks again. And thank you for your entry and following the rules! this is a fab piece, one you should be proud of. Well written, it draws the reader into the piece. best of luck l8az sky xxx
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