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Gabrielle

Missing image
What if you are real?
And there are places beyond
Would you be here?
Staring at this field of stone
And stranded dogwood
Or out blowing your own horn
For God and other impulses
Middle-manning the word
Punishing tyrants
Inspiring prophets.
Oh ageless cherub
You, by far, serve a better sculptor
than I would ever.

Author notes


Written March 7th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • mister nemo
    April 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is nice, and simple. i think i entered the same contest that this seems to have come from before... or at least a contest with the same picture. ^_-
    thank you for sharing this.


  • Naughtygrlred
    March 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    come find me


  • Queen of Cups
    March 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh ageless cherub
    You, by far, serve a better sculptor
    than I would ever.
    Powerful great write


  • NurseChilly gold member
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Jeremi... I did like this one alot...

    I like how you've given Gabrielle a softer side and some gentle tones... cause sometimes the poor wretch does get a bit of a bad name...

    my only little niggle is the tense of the last line..

    I keep wanting to say ever would and not would ever??? perhaps that is what you was after.. but it did made me stumble when I read it out loud a few times...



    nicely done

    ~GILL~x


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    WOW! This is a beautiful poem. A wonderful one-way conversation with the angel Gabrielle. I like the tone of this and how you question. Beautiful inspiration here. I love the last three lines

    All the best in the contest,
    Charishma


  • natari
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful and haunting

    A beautiful poem.It had the softness of the subject and yet the strength of the stone.I found this piece quite haunting because I'm frequent graveyards.The fourth and fifth line were breathtaking and the ending really rounded this out as a powerful write.
    Helen


  • Cat gold member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    jeremi- a strong contender in this contest- a strong- solid yet soft voice at the end of the piece- not an easy balance to create- you've done it well. i just really like this one-

    m


  • abernaith
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It drives me inexplicably mad, your well-wishing thoughts.


  • catz Moderators member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Those first three lines draw the reader in, Jeremi, then gently urges the reader on to enjoy the subtle spiritualness of this fine poem. You know I like all of your work (well, nearly all of it) even when I don't understand it, but this piece is far and above your others which I've read. It has warm consolation squeezed in there among the lines of pondersom brevity.

    Wittily written, a thinker poem

    Excellent write, Jeremi

    Dee


  • Pallas Athena
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    When I saw the title, I had to laugh, cause I am planning on using the name for my daughter.. But this piece is nothing to laugh at, and is very well written. Very eloquent, I would say. Athena


  • rebeka
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    ageless

    you have this uncanny ability. you write that loud and flashy song lyric wolves thing, then you impress the hell out of me with gentle grace such as this. and it is amazing, you make it look so easy :b
    classic horus8 flip side beauty

1 - 11 of 11