In my room
I reach for the air
Your hand is not there
To hold on to
I turn and sigh
Then look into the eyes
Of your image
Reflecting my sadness
It's you or its sadness
Take my breath away tonight
And please stay the night
Who cares what's wrong or right
Please stay the night
You can just be mine
I won't notice time
Now I'm begging
Will you stay the night
I lay awake
Thinking of how many days
Until I can see you
Remembering
The last time I touched you
The last time you let me kiss you
Without turning away
Please don't treat me that way
Take my breath away tonight
And please stay the night
Who cares what's wrong or right
Please stay the night
I will only touch
What I've felt before
All I need is time
I can pay for more
Or I'll keep begging
For you to stay the night.
When all hope is gone
I won't let you go
I can't let you go
I turn and sigh
Look into the eyes
Of your image
Reflecting my sadness
Ignoring this madness.
Author notes
This is inspired by the group INXS, specifically the song, AFTERGLOW. I admire the group for continuing the legacy started by the late Michael Hutchence that was their lead singer who committed suicide....AND THE BAND PLAYS ON.....
A contest entry
- YOUR Favorite Bands by Epilogue.
600 points, ended September 17, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Wicked" Lyrics Inspired! by liduen.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Kissed A Girl by Gay-Militant.
1200 points, ended July 31, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i really like this, but one part bugs me:
"I can pay for more
Or I'll keep begging"
it kinda makes it sound like you're in love with a prostitute. i'm not saying that is what it is, but it struck me that way, i had to re read it.
otherwise, i do really like this. its got an impeccable flow and wonderful imagery.
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Great write...but I don't see any way that this relates to any of the songs that I chose. Could you please clear that up for me? Thanks. Good luck and great poem
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"Remembering
The last time I touched you
The last time you let me kiss you
Without turning away"
I like these lines the best. I thought the poem was alright but the rhymes were not really my cup o' tea.
Thanks for the entry.
~elizabeth~ -
Wow, you took me on a trip through your emotions. I think we've all experienced that sense of loss and desperation, whether or not we act on it. Good luck in the contest.
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I think this is beautiful and would make such a great song. I like the rhyming, exceptc for the places where you rhyme the word with the same word, like sadness and sadness. Other than that, I think this is a really good poem, and really shows love. Great job!
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